If anyone out there is reading this blog and my thoughts about Mormonism and Christianity, I invite you to email me or leave comments. If you're Mormon and want to defend your faith, that's just fine. If you are Mormon and are doubting your faith, let's talk. If you're never-mo or ex-mo, I welcome your thoughts as well.
This blog is more for me so I can organize my thoughts and get them out in the open. Upon my discovery that I no longer believe in the LDS religion, I have also come to realize that I am free to say what's on my mind. It's okay to doubt. If you're Mormon, it's not okay to doubt. It's not okay to ask difficult questions. The only thing it is okay to do, if you're Mormon, is pray, pay and obey. I just can't do that.
I can't pray to a god I can't see. There is no evidence at all that shows that prayer has any real effects anyway.
I can't pay tithing to such a deceptive church. Especially since they threaten me with hell and damnation if I do not. The LDS church, contrary to what they claim, rules with fear. They keep their members inline with fear of damnation.
I can't obey, just because they said so. If god comes flying down out of heaven and tells me his will, I will obey until I breathe my last breath. But until then, if god doesn't reveal himself to me in a way that is undisputable, I must assume I am meant to find my own path.
Seriously, if you are Mormon and are doubting, it's okay. You are doubting because your brain is working. Your leaders will tell you that you are doubing because you haven't prayed enough, payed enough, or obeyed enough. If you only follow out of sheer fear of fire and damnation, I can only assure you that your leaders are simply trying to scare you into paying and obeying. I have completely lost all that fear. I realize now that there is no heaven; there is no hell; there is no devil; there is no god. I am not entirely rejecting the possibility of a supreme being, but if there is such a being, he certainly is silent.
One would think that rejecting a belief in god would be difficult and depressing, but it is surprisingly liberating. I now have confidence that I am smart enough to make my own decisions. I don't have to consult a silent god who lives on a planet 100 million miles away. I don't have to seek his approval for anything. I am an adult and I am free to make my own choices and pay the natural consequences for them.
In no way, will I ever hold myself accountable to some bishop ever again. My personal life is absolutely none of his business. If god knows everything, and bishops have the power of discernment, why do they need to drag me into the bishop's office and ask me all sorts of personal questions?
I feel absolutely no shame or guilt. I am what I am and I am not ashamed of it. Words really can't express how free I feel. Maybe there are words and I am just bad at expressing them.
Who knows? But I do know that I have never been more happy or self confident than I have been since I left the church.
I write these words in the hope that they will inspire someone to rethink the religion they were born into and brainwashed with. There are other ways to happiness besides Mormonism. Much better ways! I just hope that if someone reading these words feels that something isn't quite right, then I'll offer you the red pill and we'll see just how far the rabbit hole goes.
Looking forward to any comments that anyone would care to leave.
Just another evil apostate...