Sunday, November 30, 2014

Christian Love At It's Finest

The following is a word for word email exchange (irrevalent details removed) that I had with a woman a few weeks ago who is obviously Christian.  This will blow your mind.

Her: "I believe if I ask anything in Jesus name it shall be received."

Me: "We live in the 21st century.. the information age. We are a little too advanced to be believing in stone-age myths, and talking snakes, and pregnant virgins."

Her: "Wow I took a screen shot of this for safe keeps.  It is the folk like yourself that I am intrigued by... I used to be you no sky daddies, but that flying spaghetti monster.
"I hope one day you get to witness the truth of his existence that remove all doubt to activate the change in your life.  Everyone get it,  I saved this email because when you do get it. It will be fun to laugh at it.  Haha"

Me: "So that is your only motivation?  To be right?  To rub it in my face? That's pathetic. If there is a god, he is facepalming himself right now.  His message was to love; not rejoice in the demise of others.  You really don't get it, do you?
"Do you know what I get if I'm right?  Nothing.  If there is no afterlife, I don't get to rub it in anyone's face because none of us will even be there. 
"Pride... that is one of Satan's favorite sins.. If there is an afterlife and a judgment and a heaven, I'm closer to getting it than you are.
"Tell me something... If you used to be a FSM follower, what is the event that changed your mind?
I used to be a Jesus follower until I turned on my brain and realized that god having his favorite son tortured to death is not only brutal and disturbing, it is so man made.  How exactly does Jesus getting nailed to a cross somehow magically undo all the sin and evil that exists in the world?  (That sin exists in the first place because a naked woman was talked into eating an apple by a talking snake).  Just tell me that doesn't reek of... stupid.
"Yes, I hope I also get to see the truth of his existence because at that very moment, I will believe.. until then it is a fairy tale and god is just an imaginary friend for grownups.
"Now, since you believe that Jesus will give you anything you ask for, ask him to visit me.  If he does, I'll humbly admit that you are right.  If he doesn't, well, you can still enjoy basking in your own arrogance anyway."

No further response.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Why Jesus Dying For You Is Not As Heroic As It Sounds

Or, Why The Resurrection of Jesus Really Isn't That Great

Even back in my believing days, I had a question:

If Jesus loved me and died for my sins, (which is very sweet of him to do) and he had power over death, why is that such a big deal?  Why is it a sacrifice if he could just come back to life again?

Jesus has power over death.  He dies for me.  He comes back to life a few days later.

That's like someone with unlimited resources giving $1,000 to a charity and then taking it back a few days later.  If you have the ability to come back to life whenever you want then 1) you're not really dead, but more importantly 2) dying for someone or something isn't anything noble.  It's not a sacrifice if you can give something but then take it right back.

It seems that there is no sacrifice at all of the part of Jesus.  The soldiers throughout history who have died for our freedoms sacrificed much more than Jesus because they are permanently dead.  They gave their LIVES for a cause.  JESUS JUST LET US BORROW HIS FOR A WEEKEND!  That's not a sacrifice!

Okay, okay, even if the story of the resurrection really was true, that's cool and all.  Jesus can come back to life.  Wow, I wish I had that power.  If someone really did have power over death, there is no question that would be amazing and miraculous.  But why does Jesus get all this hype and praise for doing something that, to him, is just another day at the beach?

And why was all this necessary in the first place?  God's great "plan" to counteract the effects of sin are to have Jesus tortured to death... Ok, and what is that supposed to accomplish?  How does Jesus' death translate into salvation for everyone who believes it happened?  And why is belief the only condition on which this "sacrifice" is predicated?

The more I think about it, the more absurd it becomes and the more questions are raised.  But the main point of this post is to show that:

EVEN IF THE WHOLE STORY WAS TRUE, JESUS DIDN'T SACRIFICE SHIT FOR YOU!!!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Missing Secret Ingredient: The Real Reason Why Diets Don't Work

They are missing faith!

Browsing through the book section of the nearby grocery store, I came across this precious gem: The Pray Fit Diet: The Revolutionary Faith-Based Plan to Balance Your Plate and Shed Weight.


Seriously?  I have a million thoughts on this and don't even know where to begin.  I need faith in order to balance my plate?  I need religion in order to exercise and live a healthier life?  If I don't lose weight using this system, is it because I didn't have enough faith?  Am I supposed to pray and have god give me the will power to eat better and exercise?  What if you're not Christian?  Does that mean all non-Christians are doomed to a life of being overweight? 

I didn't even pick up the book to read the back cover, I was so busy just face-palming myself.  So I admit that I have no idea what is contained on the pages of this book.  But if it is anything like the other "faith-based" stuff I've seen, then it's virtually worthless.

I just don't get it.  How is faith supposed to help anyone lose weight?  How are these two concepts (health and religion) even remotely connected to each other? 

I would argue that they are not!  In fact, I know a good, many LDS people who strictly follow the Word of Wisdom.  In exchange for following it, they are promised that they will "run and not be weary and will walk and not faint".  However, I have literally known some people who cannot walk because they are so out of shape and yet they follow the Word of Wisdom.

Other religions forbid certain food.  Pork is a meal rejected by Jews and Hindus and perhaps others.  The Bible forbids the eating of shellfish.  But there is no scientific study that I am aware of that shows any of these things are actually bad for the body when eaten in moderation.  Even alcohol can be beneficial.

I am going to try it.  A faith-based diet.  I am going to have hope and faith that over the next six months, I will shed some of my extra.  I am going to put it all into god's hands.  In other words, I plan to do absolutely nothing and expect that I will get positive results.  Remember, if it's faith-based, then you cannot add any works to it.  If I put in any effort, then that means I don't trust in god.

The sad part is that I am sure there are actually people who buy this book and think it will work.  I mean, there is nothing wrong with wanting to get into better shape, but there is one way that is done: eat better and be more active.  That is what works.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.  The way to get in better shape ain't broke.  It doesn't need to be fixed.  If you want to lose weight, go make it happen.  But trying to use faith is just another way to say you want to do nothing and still get the results. 

Sheesh.....