As I and other bloggers discuss our feelings about the LDS church, I read, especially on more popular blogs, where LDS defenders come to say their two cents.
Many of them ask, "Why are you so full of hatred that you have to tear down someone elses belief system?" They honestly don't understand why we do what we do. They, of course, are free to believe whatever they want, as are we. We "tear down" god's only true church because that's exactly what it isn't. It's a cult and a fraud. Ask any ex-member and they will all tell you how relieved they are to get out and do their own thinking.
We are like an army that is trying to set free our enslaved brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers. The problem is that our loved ones have been captivated for so long that they prefer their prison and they even fight us to defend it. They don't realize that we are trying to show them their mental captivity and how all they have to do is walk out. The door to their prison is wide open and yet they all cling to the prison bars, afraid to venture out into the unknown.
That brings me to their next questions: "Well, if you don't believe in the church, then what do you believe in?"
Could this be a cry for help? Perhaps they don't want to follow us because they are not sure that we ourselves know where we are going. The thing about us ex-mo's is that we do not claim to have all the truth. Many of you are right when you say that we know what we believe is not true but don't know what is.
As scary as it sounds, not knowing the path ahead is no excuse for taking that first step. Some ex-mo's leave the church only to join other Christian faiths. Some, myself included, choose the atheist path. Having abandoned my entire belief system, I'll be the first to admit that I have no clue what the real truth is. It is very possible that there is no truth.
Not knowing is part of the adventure. Is there life after death or is it the end when we die? I have absolutely no idea. But that not knowing only makes life that much more precious. The possibility that this life could be it just makes the moments I'm with loved ones that much more enjoyable.
The beauty of not knowing is that it forces one to think for themselves. Sure, it would be easy to go back to church and have the leaders do all my thinking for me. But I have a brain and if they were meant to do my thinking for me, then they would have my brain.
Mormon's have this delusion that they "know" it's true. I once thought that way. I knew it was true. But that is just a very carefully designed lie. No one knows. You can't truly know something if you have never experienced it. No one alive today has experienced death and therefore they can't possibly know it. I could read 1,000 books on the culture of China and get a pretty good idea of what life there might be like. But I'll never truly understand it until I actually go to China, until I experience it for myself.
Therefore, the idea that they "know" it's true is simply absurd and is just more proof that they are brainwashed by a very slick cult. The one thing that they do know, is that their emotions feel good when they think about the church. This is mistakenly interpreted to mean that the church is true. Hell, even though I now understand the real truth, I still get those feelings sometimes and I have to remind myself that they are just my emotions.
Folks, judging the truth of something just by the way you feel about it is a pretty stupid thing to do. For example, if the spirit was real and could warn of spiritual danger, why do all my relatives assume that I am still a full believing member when they are around me? I am a pleasant person to be around and even though I am a complete apostate, not one of them catches the warning from the spirit that I am a cancer to their eternal salvation. NOT ONE!
I am not meaning to deceive anyone by any means. If they ask me what I believe, I will bluntly answer. But out of respect for them, I keep my mouth shut and let them assume away. They are allowing themselves to be deceived by relying on a source of truth that isn't even real. If the spirit was real, they would all be able to sense the absence of any Mormon spirituality in me. Even my most faithful and strong Mormon family members are completely clueless as to my apostasy. Why doesn't the spirit warn them? Because the "spirit" is not real and exists in the form of their own emotions, inside themselves and nowhere else.
This habit of relying on an inside source of truth keeps them virtually numb to everything on the outside. Therefore, no matter what facts or evidence is produced, it only numbs them more and their belief in the only true church grows. I read comment from TBM's who acknowledge that we have good points and facts but they choose to simply ignore them because the church has to be true. They are numb to any real thinking or rationalization. All they know is that that church is true and anything that opposes it must be from the devil.
The hard fact, that is difficult even for myself to accept, is that no one knows the complete truth. We are not meant to know. We are born into this world to make whatever sense of it we may. Some people see a tree and see just that, a tree. Other people would see the same tree and see Jesus hanging from a tree. Some might see the tree as a living thing with the right to live, while someone else might see the tree as fuel for next winters heat.
Why should I spend my entire life proving myself to some god, when that god can't even show himself to me for three seconds? Why should I devote my life to a being I have never met and probably never will meet? Especially since that "being" has promised me all sorts of things and none of them have come true?
There is scientific evidence that mankind, as he is today, has been on earth for about 40,000 years. The evidence for evolution is overwhelming. Life has existed on this planet for several million years. The earth itself is 14 billion years old. This has been proven by science. Nothing the Bible says about the earth and our "creation" has any scientific merit whatsoever. Nothing! Science has disproven Christianity in every instance. I know there are those who would disagree, but it doesn't matter. I trust science because it is real. It has been observed and tested. Science is used to better our quality of life and even hardcore believers in Jesus take advantage of the benefits that science provides. They will take advantage of the comforts, but then discredit it whenever it disagrees with their preceived "truth".
The real truth is that Jesus does not exist any more than Santa Clause exists. And until Jesus gets the cajones to show his face, I'll never believe in him.
So, TBM's to answer your questions, no, we don't know everything. The one thing we do know is that the church is a cult and you are brainwashed to the point that you would die to defend it. Where you go once you have set yourself free is entirely up to you. But that's the beauty of it all. You don't know where the road ends and that makes life an adventure, not a chore. Being Mormon is a chore. You just run around like a robot, doing everything someone else tells you to do until you die. That's a chore; that is slavery. No thanks! I would rather die than be a Mormon ever again.
Just another evil apostate...
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