Sunday, October 12, 2008


For the first time in my life, I went to a titty bar not long ago (not in Utah, of course). You're probably saying, see you leave the church and resort to sin. But instead of it being a soul damning experience, I found it to be quite liberating.

I was nervous, naturally. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know how to act. It's not like I'm used to being surrounded by naked girls or anything.

After having our ID's checked, we entered the strip club. Naturally it was dark and the music was loud. This particular club had three stages and each one had a nude, or near-nude, girl dancing around. When I say nude, I mean full blown nude. No nipple pasties, no panties, no nothing to hide!

A guy is supposed to check out girls. Even married men check out other women, and if they say they don't, they are lying. The thing about it though, is a guy is not supposed to get caugh checking the girl out. It's kind of an unspoken rule: don't get caught checking out the girls. They'll think you're a pervert.

What I found liberating about this experience is that I could gaze, gawk, and stare at these completely naked girls and no one gives a shit! No one is judging me. No one is telling me how awful I am. A titty bar actually provides an environment where a man can be a man without feeling guilty for it.

Now you can go sit up right next to the stage and put a dollar out. The dancer will come stand right in front of you and jiggle her tits right in your face! For a buck you can get a pair of tits rubbed in your face! If you stick around and throw out another buck, she will reveal her completely shaven lower half. You can stare at it all you want and no one cares! In fact, while she's spread eagle'd in front of you, she's smiling and chatting at you like it's no big deal.

Get yourself an alcohol buzz and life is great. You can relax, enjoy the girls, enjoy the drinks, enjoy the company of your friends, and you don't have a care in the world. Even if it is just a temporary break from real life, it's a good break. I would recommend it to anyone. Go to a titty bar and just chill out!

I know exactly what a TBM will be thinking when they read this... "Satan has deceived you." Or there's the typical Book of Mormon idea that says the devil will try to make sin look good, and good look like sin. But knowing that Christianity is not true, I have attended that club and even got a lap dance and I have absolutely ZERO guilt. None.

A watered down long island iced tea: $7.00

A lap dance from your favorite girl: $20.00

Feeling absolutely no guilt for any of it: Priceless

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