Monday, January 19, 2009

Unannounced, Uninvited, and Unwelcome

You'll never guessed who showed up on my front porch today. That's right, the LDS missionaries. I won't relay what was said because it's the standard, "We're representatives of Jesus Christ... have you ever heard of the church?"

First of all, I noticed that the guy didn't say "We're reps for the church..." He said, "We're representatives of Jesus Christ." Wow! Jesus just knocked on my door. I should have told them to tell him "hi" for me.

Do you know anyone who likes having their TV show, football game, dinner, nap, or other personal time interrupted by two fanatical know-it-all geeks? Does anyone like having these guys show up at their door and immediately start asking you personal questions?

I informed my uninvited guests that I was not active in the local ward. Naturally, they wanted to know why I quit going and then proceeded to manipulate me back with "will you" questions and reminders about the "covenants" I have made.

You know, most people are happy with their religion/beliefs and I am one of them. If anyone is doubting or questioning, they usually set out to seek their answers. If such a person approaches the missionaries then, by all means, share your message. But guess what! The 99% of us that are perfectly happy with our standing before the lard just don't care to have the holier-than-thou's knocking on our doors and then proceeding to tell us what we should be doing.

Excuse me, but who authorized you to come, uninvited to my home, and start asking me all types of personal questions? I have no obligation, whatsoever, to account myself to these teenage boys. I'm a good deal older than they are so why do they presume to think that they can just start ordering me around as far as my spirituality is concerned?

They closed with their traditional "what can we do for you" and then asking for referrals. Yea, my neighbor next door is a heathen. Why don't you go tell him that I said you could teach him! (Insert sarcastic laugh here)

It's just amazing to me that they think they are doing the world a huge favor by sending out thousands of missionaries to convert the world, but then they all get sooooo offended when a few people like me voice our not so church friendly opinion.

For crying out loud, they show up at my door and try to manipulate me face to face! I write words on a blog and anyone is free to read them or click the little X at the top right corner of the page. They just don't get it.

When they show up at my door, it offends me. I am offended because I am happy with my life and who are they to just show up out of the blue, uninvited, and presume to tell me that their beliefs are true and that they alone can make me happy. They don't know me! They don't know my level of happiness!

All they know is that they think the church is true and they have a script that they repeat again and again from door to door.

FYI, I always hated tracting. Not just because it sucked in and of itself, but because I knew that the people we were bothering did not want us to be there. So get the hint, LDS missionaries (and any other door-to-door religious salesmen). We don't want you to bother us! If we want to listen to your message, we'll call you!

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