Sunday, September 6, 2009

Follow the Prophet, ex-Mormon Version

The following lyrics should be sung to the music of Follow the Prophet:

Joseph was a prophet, horny as can be.
Emma didn’t buy his polygamy.
Joseph searched for treasure with his magic stones.
Better hide your daughters, or he’ll jump their bones.

Brigham was a prophet, racist as can be.
If blacks and whites should mingle, death’s the penalty.
“Adam is our god, with whom we have to do.”
That was a false doctrine, so what does that tell you?

Gordon was a prophet, always on the news.
Everyone who heard him, was so confused.
“I don’t think we teach that,” was what he liked to say.
He couldn’t call disaster, before it came our way.

Monson is a prophet, with his charming voice.
When the members hear him, they all rejoice!
When he’s in the spot light, he is a great guy.
But when he is alone, we all wish we could die!

You always must remember, that the church is true!
Jesus loves your money, more than he loves you.
Listen to the prophets. Do just what they say…
Follow with exactness, and don’t forget to pay!

© Mormon411, 2009

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