I look back on my life and regret how much I let the church rob me of my childhood. You are taught, as a young Mormon, that sex is a horrible sin if used outside of marriage. You are forbidden from heavy kissing, feeling out, going all the way and even THINKING ABOUT IT!
What normal teenager doesn't think about sex? What normal boy doesn't look at an attractive girl and just wish he could have his way with her? But teenage Mormons are taught that these feelings and desires are evil.
I'm no expert in the psychology of sex. But I do know that it is good not only for your health, but also your esteem. However, it's the complete opposite for Mormons. If you've engaged in anything sexual, then you have offended god. You are only slightly less wicked than a murderer. You might as well just flush your self esteem right down the toilet.
In the name of being righteous, I turned down several sexual opportunities (much to the surprise of the girl making the advance). I even had one girlfriend who broke up with me because I wouldn't "do" anything with her. She was hot. I'm kicking myself now, of course. She would have let me do anything.
Of course, there were those times when the flesh gave way to temptation. I had a few girls here and there who let me play with their boobs. Of course, I felt terribly guilty. But damn! It was so much fun! What is it about boobs that is so damn cool? I even went as far as "dry humping" with one girl. I had an orgasm and really wondered if I was still a virgin.
So mission time came along and I had a few minor sexual sins under my belt. I debated with myself as to whether or not I confess to the bishop. I had to serve a mission, to fulfill the " *right of passage".
* The right of passage is the event in any culture in which a boy is transformed into a man. In Mormonism, completition of a successful mission is the right of passage.
Do I confess? If I do, I might not be allowed to serve. That is way not cool. If I don't confess, I can serve, but I will have unresolved issues. It turns out that I decided to lie to the bishop. I figured that if his sense of discernment couldn't detect my crimes, then they must not be that bad. I was allowed to serve.
It turns out that in the MTC, they put tremendous guilt and pressure on missionaries who have gone on a mission with unresolved sins. They pile the guilt high and deep. They threaten you that if you serve unworthily, you will go to hell. It turns out that there are thousands of bishops all over Utah who need to have their spirit of discernment in the shop.
Why does the LDS church control the sexuality of it's members so much? Sex is a very strong desire. If you can control that, then you can control anything. TSCC tells you when you can and can't have sex. They tell you how and where.
In Mormonism, sex is viewed as the "power of pro-creation". It is a gift given to us by God that, when used righteously, can allow us to bring more of his spirit children into the world. Since the power of pro-creation is so powerful, it must be used carefully. If you abuse it, then you will be in big trouble.
I always used to wonder that if sex outside of marriage was so offensive to god, then why would he allow a child to come of it? Doesn't that child have a right to be born into a righteous home with two righteous parents? Why would god send an innocent child to a whoring woman who has no right to be a mother? I mean, if you get pregnant outside of marriage, then obviously you're a sinner and a whore. So why would god send an innocent child into these circumstances? Only god knows. That child is being given the trials that it best needs.
So that must mean that god wanted the woman to get pregnant outside of marriage. Since he wanted it to happen, then she is actually fulfilling gods will. How can that possibly be a sin?
If everything that happens is gods will, then everything we do, both good and bad, must be gods will. And since whatever happens is gods will, then they can't be a sin, because sinning is doing what god doesn't want us to do. But since all things happen, then all things must be gods will. Therefore, there is no such thing as sin! Everything you do must have been gods will; otherwise, he would have stopped you from doing it!
It was gods will that a boy and a girl liked each other and had sex.
It was gods will that the girl got pregnant.
It was gods will that the girl got an abortion.
It is gods will that some people are for abortion.
It is gods will that some people are against abortion.
Basically, anything that happens is gods will. Because if it wasn't gods will, then it wouldn't happen.
So if I have sex, or drink, or smoke, or gamble, or steal, it is all gods will because he doesn't stop me from doing it.
This is why I am an atheist. For one thing, if god didn't want me to have sex then he wouldn't have given me a dick. If he didn't want me to masturbate, then he wouldn't have given me hands. Secondly, when you sit down and really analyze what god is, you'll realize, as I just demonstrated above, that it's all just nonsense.
It must be gods will that I am an atheist; otherwise he would force me to not be an atheist.
I really jumped around a lot in this post, but I wanted to provide a good look into how Mormons view sex. I also wanted to complain about all the opportunities I passed up. If I sit down and count the opportunities missed, there is probably about a dozen.
Damn it! I'm just sitting here kicking myself! The few memories I have are very nice. I wish I had a dozen more to add to the list!