Saturday, October 20, 2012

Is a Divorced Mormon Couple Really Divorced?

Not if they were married in the temple!

Years ago, my mother was divorced from my father.  He had been excommunicated and was no longer a member of the church.  However, when my mother wanted to get re-married in the temple, she had to undergo a "temple divorce".  Yes, apparently when a couple divorces, the LDS church still considers them married.

According to my mother, she had to get special permission from the highest ranks of the church in order to get temple divorced.  The LDS church does not recognize a legal divorce.

My ex-wife recently got re-married.  However, she and I are still sealed.  I could go have sex with her right now and it would not be considered adultry.  Technically, it probably would, but it's their own doctrine that states that a couple is still sealed even if they are divorced.

I guess their reasoning is that since god joined the two together, only god can un-join them.  The civil judges have no right to undo what god has done.

But it is the true kingdom of god on earth and so, OF COURSE, it is above gentile law.

I have a friend who is getting divorced and was married in the temple.  Now she is dating a Mormon man and is considering marrying him in the temple.  But before she can do that, she has to get a temple divorce from her first husband.  So again, even though they will be officially divorced soon, the LDS church still considers them sealed.

How come men can marry all they want in the temple, but women have to get special permission to marry there again? 

I was always taught that the sealing ordinance is only in effect as long as all parties are worthy.  But what I am seeing here is that even if you are wicked enough to get excommunicated, you are still sealed. Can anyone please explain to me how this works?  How can an eternal marriage possibly work if one person is in the highest kingdom and the other person is in the lowest?

Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just teach that if someone in an eternal marriage leaves the church, is excommunicated, or the couple is divorced that their sealing is automatically broken?

I would think so.  But god's ways are higher than our ways.

Whatever.

14 comments:

Jettboy said...

You do realize the Catholic Church holds a similar view about divorce? In fact once married you are considered always married and can't even be granted a religious divorce.

Mormon411 said...

I did not know that.

erin said...

That is true. From my understanding an annulment may be granted in extreme cases and based on certain loose guidlines, for example if the marriage was violent, however it rarely happens and it's basically the church's decision. They would rather you "carry a cross" like Jesus did and stay married, but separate. It's the most absurd thing I've ever heared.

Mormon411 said...

Erin, amen to that!

Why would god or his church want you to stay in a miserable relationship? Married but separated.. and do what exactly? Sit there and never date until you wither up and die? WTH?

Brad said...

Doesn't this go contrary to their 12th article of faith, which states that they honor and sustain the law. By law, I'm divorced, but apparently the temple marriage is above the law, as I found out myself.

Regarding the Catholic Church, my uncle basically had to live with girlfriend for seven years, because the Catholics wouldn't give her a divorce.

It always amazes me how people think they know the will and mind of god in such personal matters other than their own.

Mindy said...

My ex needed a "letter of approval" or whatever from me when he wanted to remarry in the temple. I said I could care less, but they still didn't grant the temple divorce so they actually had a civil marraige and were sealed a year later .... We do have five kids together so many be that's why or maybe they just couldn't wait ... Which makes me laugh ... But whatever... My point is I think they do get permission from the ex wife now...
Love your blog..

Brad said...

Mindy, Men need to get a "letter of approval" from their first temple married wife to marry another in the temple, or additional authorization, since a man can have more than one temple marriage. Woman on the other hand can only have one temple marriage. Women will need to get a temple divorce before they can marry again in the temple. This is how plural marriage is continued in the LDS church today.

Mormon411 said...

On the outside, they appear to honor the law, but they secretly believe they are above it.

I've never heard of a man needing any type of special permission to marry again. The only man I can think of who got re temple married was a widower.

And this man is now on his third temple marriage and sincerely believes he will be a polygamist with all three of his wives in the celestial kingdom.

They think they are above the law and they still do very much believe in polygamy.

But they don't want the world to know...

weston krogstadt said...

Still hating on them morms after all these years?

Brad said...

Weston, we don't hate mormons. It's the organization that we dislike. After spending a large portion of dedicating your life in something that you believed was true, only to find out that they lied to you, and then you are ostracized by friends and family because you decide to question the validity of this organization, you have to get somethings off your back before moving on.

Mormon411 said...

Thank you Brad, I'm not even going to reply to Weston because I am tired of being accused of hating Mormons. I guess if all they see is hate, then it must be what they are looking for...

Jessica said...

As far as I know this isn't quite true jetboy. You can be granted an annulment. I am not sure under what grounds, but as far as I know an annulment (I guess legally for my initial google) is a legal procedure for declaring a marriage null and void. It is normally retroactive which apparently meaning that the annulled marriage considered invalid right from the beginning. And Mormon, getting divorced simply because one party is 'miserable' isn't a good thing. There should be many things done first. Why is the person miserable? Is their spouse abusive or an adulterous spouse, then yes, divorce can/ should be an option. But if this is not the case, then other options, such as individual and couples counselling should be sought in order to prevent divorce.

Kyle said...

I got an annulment from my wife when she wasn't interested in being Mormon or married any more. As far. As my church records go, it says I have never been married even though the sealing is still in place if my ex wants to live up to her covenants and goes back yo church, she would have to seek a temple sealing annulment as well. I'm not worried about it because as long as one or both people don't keep temple covenants, the sealing isn't valid anyway. No kids in my case either so once again, not a big deal!

Mormon411 said...

I know someone personally whose husband was very unfaithful and after they were divorced they still had to get a temple divorce. Infidelity does not automatically grant a temple divorce.