Sunday, September 27, 2009

Ah, Brotherly Love of the Conditional Variety

I recently had an email exchange with a TBM sibling. Allow me to share some of the highlights:

"I've got news for you...LIVING THE GOSPEL MAKES YOU HAPPY... Look back on your life. When were you the most happy?"

Certainly not in church. I was most happy when I had a hot and sexy girlfriend who let me play with her tits like there was no tomorrow.

"Pornography will destroy a marriage. Satan will make you believe that there is nothing wrong with it and that it is your freedom of expression. That is exactly how he wriggles his way in. If you want REAL happiness...LASTING happiness, get rid of the pornography."

Wow, I am being accused of being ravingly addicted to porn. After a few email exchanges, I get this:

"At least be honest with one thing. Are you involved in pornography?"

First of all, they are implying that all my responses are nothing but lies. Secondly, why do they accuse me of being addicted to porn and then later ask me if I am even involved with it?

In an email sent concurrently to my TBM wife:

"Doesn't he see that he has nothing now and no happiness? Nothing in his life is good..."

"He is so involved in pornography that he is blinded and cannot see the beautiful things that are right in front of his face..."

Interesting... I can see more clearly now than I ever have before. All this is coming from a sibling that had a MAJOR rebellion as a teenager and was heavily involved with sex, drugs, alcohol, and parties.


"I sob as I write this..."

"I am so saddened..."

So if the gospel makes you happy, why are you sad?

"Please give the "good side" another chance. I can promise you that it is worth it."

There is nothing about Mormonism that I want to "try again". Why would I want to go back to all the pressure, expectations, and endless guilt?

"You are probably steaming in your boots right now wondering how I could be so bold to say these things to you..."

I understand that you're just doing your "duty" as a TBM to stand boldly for the "truth". Mormons have no concept of personal boundaries when it comes to defending the faith. Interestingly enough, I am not the one who initiated this exchange.

This sibling goes on to describe how their marital relationship was miserable (just like mine is) until dear spouse finally joined the church:

"It is like I am married to the [person] of my dreams! We barely ever fight anymore, we tell each other we love each other and really mean it, we are playful with each other. We actually enjoy each other's company. I didn't know marriage could be like this. We are happy."

I am thrilled that you're happy. I truly am. However, LDS, Inc. is not the source of your happiness. If it was, then every non-LDS marriage would end in disaster. Maybe you get along now because you are no longer condescending to dear spouse anymore. You certainly haven't had a condescending tone for me:

"I guess my feeble attempt to get through to you was really about your marriage."

Condescending with a touch of humility. I like that. Referring to the church:

"Take the word "truth" out of it and it is still a good way to live. If all members of the family try to live the gospel, there will be so much more peace and happiness in the home."

You mean have a set of morals without religion? That's exactly what I do.

Next it is implied that I'm a big asshole who bans my wife from the computer simply for talking with dear sibling:

"...she got in big, big trouble for talking to me and she is banned from the computer for life."

In the email to my wife:

"I know that you are alone in most of the important things of this life."

Yep, I left the church and suddenly shunned my entire family. It's amazing that when you're not Mormon, what a failure you are in your family life:

"[Your children] just need a good example for a father... To be a good example of how a husband should treat his wife."

Yep, since I left the church I treat my family horribly. Referring to their pre-Mormon spouse, dear sibling had this to say:

"I wanted to leave so many times but I was always told by the Spirit to "be patient and steadfast". I cried myself to sleep almost every night."

Wow, the spirit spoke to you and you still cried? That doesn't make any sense. Isn't the spirit supposed to be comforting? I am supposed to be the one who is miserable and yet this sibling describes many different times how sad and miserable they are/were.

"The difference between [my spouse] and you is that [my spouse] ...was willing to put the marriage and our family first because we were worth saving..."

I guess my family isn't worth saving. I am such an asshole.

Has anyone else ever received a letter of this nature from a family member?


Liv8 said...

My friend who used to be mormon had a photo of her giving the finger on her facebook and some member of the church wrote her an abusive email to take it down and be a good girl.

Mormon411 said...

See, and that's another problem with Mormons... they're not content to live the religion themselves. They have to force it on everyone else.

There is nothing wrong with having and living your own personal set of moral principles, whatever they may be. But when it comes to the point that someone tries to make other people live their morals, then there is a problem.

If you don't want to watch R rated movies, fine. But don't belittle those who do. You want to abstain from sex and alcohol, fine. But don't judge those who don't. Live your morals and keep them to yourself.

The problem is that Mormons just can't do that.

Anonymous said...

yea to that question. one email from a sibling and one from a relative. both condescending, sneering, and sarcastic. both refused to acknowledge an adult decision to have freedom from religion, and both predicting destruction, misery, and all sorts of lovely blessings upon my head for turning my back on the Mormon god. the relative has repented it seems and now we are congenial. the sibling, once a major rebel where church was concerned, well let's just say they are still stewing in a steaming brew of their own making. surprisingly, not even their church mates know where they are or how they are faring in life. good grief! ~ buddhist punk