Monday, July 26, 2010

This Just In! Taking Aspirin Always Leads to A Headache

A recent study has shown indisputable proof that taking aspirin causes headaches!

No really, it's true! We surveyed 100 people and asked them to report each time they take an aspirin (or any type of pain killer). The associated symptom: headache. There you have it. A headache correlates 100% with taking aspirin. The results speak for themselves.

Stupid, right?

Of course it is because we all know that people take aspirin when they already have a headache to make it go away.

Well, the LDS church uses logic like the example above to try and convince people to hand over their hard earned dollars.

From the book Why? Powerful Answers and Practical Reasons for Living LDS Standards, page 144 there is a graph comparing two families and their income. Quote:

"Studies show that charitable giving makes you wealthier. Imagine you have two families that are exactly the same... the only difference is that the first family gives $100 more to charity than the second family. It turns out that the first family will earn, on average, $375 more than the nongiving family. If giving to any charity produces this result, then giving to the Lord will do even more!"

So if I follow this "study" and choose to give all my money to charity, then the dollars should come rolling in! No! How about a reality check.

Did the family MAKE more because they GAVE more?

Or did they GIVE more because they MADE more?

This is the LDS church using statistics in a dishonest way to convince people to fork over the dough.

I would have scanned the page and posted it, but my hardware is currently nonfunctional.

In LDS land, taking ASPIRIN leads to HEADACHES, and GIVING more means you'll MAKE more.

In real life, taking ASPIRIN relieves HEADACHES, and MAKING more means you have the ability to GIVE more.

So make more money by NOT giving it to the LDS church so that you can give it (if you wish) to a more beneficial charity.

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