A sure way to get the Mormons off your porch is to start talking about stuff that they don't want to hear. There are some subjects that Mormons would literally rather die than talk about.
First is the temple. They don't mind talking about the temple itself; in fact, they do it all the time. But the secret, I mean sacred, ceremonies that go on inside are top secret! They do not even talk about it with each other outside of the temple walls. And even then, it's not really a popular topic of discussion.
I had just newly been through the temple and went with a friend on my second or third session. After it was over and we were still in the temple, I asked my friend a questions and she didn't know the answer. So we stopped a temple worker and asked her. Her response, "We don't discuss those things." (And I thought she was kind of rude about it too).
Going along with the secrets of the temple is your new temple name.* This name should NEVER be revealed. It is absolutely taboo to ask someone what their temple name is. You do not ask, and you do not tell. The ONE time when a woman reveals her name to her husband is during their temple wedding ceremony. The wife will never know her husbands new name. The only other time you reveal your name is during the endowment ceremony, but then it is only to a temple worker who already knows what it is anyway.
So if you want the Mormons to really squirm, just ask them what their temple name is. They will scurry away like mice that hear the cat bell... like roaches when the light comes on... like children who are given vegetables for dinner.
* Whats in a name? They are usually Biblical or Book of Mormon names that are used in everyday religious discussions.
Next are the temple garments. Mormons are given this sacred underwear on their first trip through the temple and are instructed to wear it their entire life (they are even buried wearing them). The garments have Masonic symbols sewn into them and they represent different things.
Mormons believe that wearing garments can give them several benefits, such as a reminder of temple covenants. Another benefit is supposedly physical protection.
Garments are viewed as sacred and holy and should not be treated as just any underwear. They should never be left on the floor. As with the temple ceremony, Mormons are instructed to not talk about the garments or their marks and meanings.
Polygamy is another taboo topic in Mormonism. While the members will discuss it, they prefer not to. Many members don't know that Joseph Smith was a polygamist, having as many as 33 wives, many of whom were married women and young girls.
The idea behind polygamy (as taught in church) was for a few reasons. One reason was to populate the church so that it could grow quickly. Even the early church leaders knew the best converts are the ones they can brainwash from infancy. The second reason for polygamy was to provide husbands for the women who had lost husbands. Yea, stupid, I know.
The real reason for polygamy was to cover up Joseph Smith's secret affairs. When he got caught having an affair on Emma, he claimed he was doing it because god had commanded him to.
Personally, the idea of being a polygamist scares the hell out of me! One wife is hard enough to deal with and provide for. One kid is hard enough and expensive enough to rear. Why add so much more unnecessary complication to your life? The whole idea came about because Smith couldn't keep his willy in his pants.
Anti-Mormonism - Mormons would rather drink poison than see or discuss what they call "anti-Mormon literature". In the mind of a Mormon, the church is the literal kingdom of god and therefore, anyone who speaks evil of it, is an agent of Satan himself. That would be me. Everything that disagrees with the church or its doctrine is a lie made up by evil men, most of whom were once members that were deceived by the lies of Satan and fell from grace.
Being in this fallen state, they are bitter and angry, and they fight against the true church even though they still know it's true. They want you to be as miserable as they are. Thus, many Mormons comment here to me about how I "still know it's true". They ask why I fight against god. They literally believe that I know it's true and am lashing out in bitterness and anger in a fit of rage because either 1) I committed a sin and it's eating me inside, or 2) someone offended me.
Therefore, Mormons are warned to AVOID anti-Mormon literature at all costs because it can... catch this... be devastating to your testimony! So, if I make a good argument why the church isn't true, 99% of Mormons will shrug it off, because their leaders have warned them that the devil would make convincing lies against it. The very fact that I am fighting against the "true church" proves that Satan is real (at least in their minds) and can deceive many carefully down to hell. This is part of the reason why Mormons have such a persecution complex.
Anything that makes Joseph Smith or his successors look bad is a HUGE LIE!
In fact, if anything disagrees with Mormonism, they don't want to discuss it. If any discussion does occur, the Mormon will be on the defense the whole time. In the end, they will accuse you of attacking them and will try to bear their testimony to you.
Heavenly Mother - Yes, just as we have a father in heaven, we also have a mother in heaven whom is god's wife that he was sealed to in a temple on a planet before god was god. Together, they progressed to perfection until "BOOM" god became God. He and his many heavenly wives had sex and made spirit children to start the cycle all over again. (How can two people with physical bodies make spirit babies?)
Heavenly Mother is not discussed much. The reason is for her own protection. You see, the name of god is taken in vain all the time, and god, who respects his wife, does not want his wife's name to be used in that manner. Therefore, speaking of her is very limited. The Mormons do not want the world to know that they believe in a heavenly mother.
Personal experiences - Mormons receive the example from their leaders who often tell members that they have had experiences that are too sacred to share. Therefore, members will also do this sometimes. They claim they have had sacred visions or whatever, but will refuse to share. From the highest levels of the church to the lowest, I think it's a cop out!
The following is a true story, I swear on my life! I had a companion on my mission who, while saying a prayer, would stop right in the middle of a sentence and start snapping his fingers. I wish I was making this up! He would snap loudly three or four times and then continue on with the prayer. Sometimes he would do two or three reps in a single prayer. (No, this guy was NOT normal). Anyway, when I asked him one day why he always snapped during prayers, his reply was (and I'm not making this up), "I can't tell you. It's sacred."
I have heard many members claim, usually in testimony meeting, that they have had personal experiences too sacred to share.
Can anyone else think of something that Mormons don't like to talk about?