Thursday, October 25, 2007

How About A Mission Story

I went on a mission and had an interesting experience. Although I believed in the church and in missionary work, girls always were my weakness. Not to say that I went around having a ton of girlfriends or anything, but I did get in my fair share of good flirting.

In my very last area when I was just weeks from going home, I went to some activity at the church house. It's been a long time ago now so I don't remember all the details, but I ended up on the stage with 3 or 4 girls and they were putting makeup on me! It was an understatement that their parents weren't too happy about it as was my companion. But I didn't care. It was fun and I enjoyed my hero status as a missionary.

Keep in mind that in the Mormon culture, a returned missionary is hot stuff. Mormon girls are brainwashed that only an RM can make them happy (a lie of course). But if you are an RM, it's good to be you! All the girls want you!

It's just too bad that as a Mormon RM studmuffin, you are not allowed to exercise your manliness until you've taken your bride to the temple. Really, what is the point of being such a cool guy if you aren't even allowed to "take a woman"? In fact, you're not even allowed to think about it. So a Mormon RM is about the horniest and most sexually frustrated organism on the planet! He knows he's a stud, but can't do anything about it.

Shit, I turned down some damn fine women just for the sake of being "righteous". Shit, shit, shit! Of course, I am kicking myself now! But I did get in some good flirting, which, if you are a missionary, might as well be adultry.

Just another evil apostate...

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