Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Evil Father Refuses to Have Son Baptized

It has recently come to the attention of the local ward where I reside that my oldest son, who is above and beyond the age of accountability, has never been baptized. How they missed it, I have no idea. So lately he has been meeting with the missionaries. My TBM wife wants him to be baptized, of course, but to her credit, she has not made a big deal out of it. In fact, before she agreed to let the missionaries teach him, she came to me, asking if it was alright. I gave my consent. People might ask me why I agreed to let him meet with the missionaries. Before I can answer that, I have to first state that I will let my son make this decision when a few things have happened:

  • He must be 18 years old

  • He must completely understand, in advance, all the expectations that church membership requires

  • He must be told both sides of the story

  • It is because of the third requirement that I have allowed him to meet with them. He will also understand the reasons why I do not believe it and he will be presented with the evidence. After that, he will be completely free to choose whatever he wants, beit Mormon, atheist, or anything else.

    Now, when I gave my consent for him to meet with the missionaries, it was with the clear understanding that he will not be baptized. I made it very clear from the beginning. Now, the missionaries have been putting pressure on my wife to convince me to change my mind. In fact, I was visiting her one day and we were watching a movie when the door bell rang. She answered it and it was the missionaries dropping by. She did not invite them in and so they didn't know that I was sitting in the front room and could hear what they were saying. It was more pressure about convincing his dad to loosen up.

    I don't think that my wife should have to deal with pressure from the missionaries on top of all the other stuff she deals with. My expectations were made clear from the beginning and they are now disrespecting that. My son enjoys their meetings. But when I gave him a list of all the stuff that Mormons can't do, he was pretty discouraged about joining. For a while there, he wanted to be baptized because all of his friends were.

    In the end, it is their goal to get him baptized. I am the apostate and therefore my word doesn't mean much to them. I am viewed as an obstacle by Satan to prevent as many people as possible from finding the pure and sacred truth. I am hindering my own son's spiritual progression and so they have little respect for me or my wishes.

    That is why it's a cult and that's why I hate it.

    Wednesday, March 23, 2011

    Hunting the Edge of Space

    Science produces information and sights that religion could only guess a fraction of.

    "God" can part the Red Sea.

    Science can peer 14 billion lightyears into the cosmos and see the beginning of time itself.



    In the last couple hundred years, science has made leaps and bounds in the quest to ease human suffering and make our existance quite comfortable.

    • Light & heat
    • Transportation
    • Mass communication
    • Medicine
    What has religion done?
    • Enemy of truth
    • Supressor of knowledge
    • Grinding upon the faces of the ignorant

    This is the 21st Century. We can no longer afford to make life decisions based upon a 2000 year old myth. We can see the edge of the universe for crying out loud! What has religion ever done to improve the quality of life? Nothing!

    Thursday, March 17, 2011

    Nephi's Quest: Get the Brass Plates


    I found this game of Nephi in Jerusalem. You have already attempted to buy the brass plates and must now get to Laban and dispose of him.

    Yes, when you get to Laban, you actually hack him to death and then wash the blood off of his clothing before putting them on.

    Note: the game does have an option in the beginning where you can turn off the gore.

    And believe it or not, most of the people who played this game liked it, according to the comment section. Yes, let your kids hack off Labans head. Hey, it's all in the name of righteousness, so it must be okay. Bloody violence is just fine as long as it's in the scriptures. It must be important to us in our day or else the ancient prophets would not have put it in there.

    UPDATE: I figured I'd throw in a quick walkthrough. It's a rather simple and short game.

    You'll find yourself standing by a hotdog stand. Take a free hotdog sample. Talk to the stand owner and you'll find out that he's out of toppings. If you get him some new toppings, he will give you a bottle of wine.

    Walk into town. You are outside a bar with a camel. Enter the bar. There is a young man at the table. He's a little strange. He has written a poem for his camel, which he will gladly read to you. After he reads it, ask him if you can have it. He will say no. Offer him a challenge. You will play a dreidel game. He cheats and you lose. Challenge him to a rematch. In order to win, you must punch his hand so that he can't hit the table. Hit the table to make the dreidel bounce to your symbol. (If you lose several times, don't sweat it. You can re-match until you win.) You got the poem. Walk over to the bartender and take a free pretzel. Exit the bar.

    Head up the street to the fountain. You will find a young girl who will settle for any man she can get her hands on. (This is an inside joke. The fountain is the Provo Temple and the girl is a BYU student. That explains her desperate longing for a man.) After some small talk, share the poem with the girl. She will give you her ankle bracelet and then run off to find her dream man.

    Head back to the bar but go into the alley. You will see a "Hobo". None of the chatter is really necessary. Offer the hotdog and he will give you an ashtray. Ofter him the pretzel and he will give you a butter knife. Walk to the right and you will see a small boy trying to get his cat out of the tree. Lure the cat with the ankle bracelet from the girl. The boy will take the cats collar and run off, leaving you with the cat. Head back to the bar.

    If you engaged in small talk with the odd boy in the bar, you found out that his camel is afraid of cats. Scare the camel with the cat and watch the interesting scene. After it is done, pick up the glowing goo on the ground with the butter knife. Enter the bar and you will see the dreidel on the table. Take it. Now go up the stairs. Enter the door at the top of the stairs. You will be on a balcany. Take the towel. Go back down and go outside. Head down the street.

    You will see a wierd box with a man-eating flower on top. Click on the box and Nephi will pop it like Mario. Put the butter knife with the glowing goo on the box. You will get a mushroom. Place the mushroom in the ashtray. Use the dreidel on the mushroom. You now have mushroom paste. Return to the hotdog stand and give the paste to the guy. As promised, he will give you wine.

    Head back to the mushroom box and walk past it to go to Labans house. Just then, a wierd storm makes a river of mud, blocking your way. How can you get past it? Put down the towel. Cross the river and approach the guard. Give him the wine. He will drink it and pass out. You may proceed.

    As you walk through the gate, you notice an arm sticking out from under a bush. Enter the bushes and you have found Laban. He is passed out. Pick up his sword. Click the sword on Laban. A short scene will reveal Nephi being told by god to kill Laban. Now begins the fun! (Notice the demented look in Nephi's eyes)

    Hit the slash button until you get the green line to stop in the "kill zone". If you miss, fingers, bones, eyeballs, and blood will go splattering everywhere. (You will miss a lot! Just keep trying.) When you finally get the "kill" you'll need to clean Labans clothes. Return to the fountain and wash them. When you have the clothes on, return to Labans house. You'll need to get past the security system. Use the sword of Laban on the lazers.

    Walk up to the house and knock on the door. Zoram will take you to the plates room. Here you have several choices: plates of bass, plates of gas, plates of grass, plates of ash, plates of glass, plates of cash, etc. Pick the plates of BRASS (too bad there were no plates of ass) and watch the ending scene.

    It is interesting to note that Nephi, who is the epitomy of righteousness, has to do several dishonest and unrighteous things in order to win this game: He must gamble. He must cheat at the dreidel game. He must lie to the girl. He must steal the towel. He must lie to the guard and get him drunk. He must steal Laban's sword and clothes. He must hack off Laban head. He must vandalize Laban's security system. He must impersonate Laban. He must trespass. He must steal the Brass Plates.

    When I was a TBM, Nephi was my favorite Book of Mormon character, hands down. Now, I'm not so sure.

    Saturday, March 12, 2011

    Tragedy In Japan

    Sadly, yet another tsunami has struck in Japan.

    Sadly, yet again, the true Mormon prophet has failed to voice any type of warning.

    Anyone starting to notice a pattern here?

    Thursday, March 10, 2011

    The Gospel In A Tower

    I went and saw 'Tangled' yesterday. It was far better than I was expecting it to be. I sat there through the entire movie with my jaw on the floor. That movie was my life. It was the story of my bondage and escape from Mormonism. Not only were the effects and animation brilliant (saw the 3D version), but it was chalk full of symbolism.

    This post is a spoiler. If you haven't seen the movie, go watch it first.

    Let's start with the evil woman. She selfishly hoards a magic flower because of it's ability to keep her young and beautiful. But when the king's pregnant wife suddenly becomes very ill, the flower is needed to save her. The magic of the flower is used and it's powers are transformed to the baby girl. Her hair possesses the same healing power. Addicted to her now centuries old youth, the evil woman kidnaps the girl and locks her in a tower. Raising the girl as her own daughter, she uses the girls hair to continue with her beauty therapy.

    The evil woman has convinced the child girl that the outside world is dangerous and that she must stay in the tower to avoid the horrors of the world. She "loves" her daughter and that is why she must stay in the tower. Of course, her real motive is just to keep the girl captive and use her to keep her youth.

    This evil woman was the LDS church. Claiming that they "love" you, they keep you locked up in a figurative tower of fear, all the while sucking away your time, money, and talents. Of course, their ulterior motive is not to "save" you, but just to suck you until you are dry. You must never leave the LDS tower because the outside world is evil and dangerous. As long as you stay in this figurative tower, you will be safe and they can manipulate anything they want out of you.

    Rapunzel, the beauty with the magical golden hair, is a common member of the LDS church. Raised in a brainwashing environment her whole life, she struggles with her bondage but at the same time is terrified of disobeying her "loving mother". She longs to see and experience the outside world but is terrified to leave the safety of the tower. Although she is a complete victim of this evil woman, she naively clings to her, just as LDS church members cling to their precious prophet. She is a kind-hearted victim of a huge lie, just as are LDS church members.

    Throughout the movie, Rapunzel is given little hints and clues as to her true identity. She fails to see them at first, but eventually has an epiphany where she realizes that she has been deceived and then sees the evil woman for what she truly is: an ugly old hag. LDS church members who have had similar experiences (that is finally seeing the truth about the reality of their world) suddenly see the church for what it really is: an ugly cult.

    All of your life, you have been a victim of this cult. You have been told that in order for Jesus to bless you, that you must fork over the dollars. You believed it and you gave them your dollars so that Jesus could freely bless you. Month after month and year after year, you faithfully paid your "blessings" bill. At that moment when the light came on, you suddenly realized that you have been the victim of a major dupe. You forked over the dollars in exchange for blessings that never really were there. You suddenly realize that Jesus does not love you; "he" loves your dollars.

    The ruffians in the bar represented the normal people of the world: evil and terrifying. But Rapunzel, instead of judging them, saw them for what they really were. When she realized that the evil was not the outside world, but the wicked woman who had kidnapped her, what was once viewed as evil suddenly became her ally, while that which was once viewed as friendly suddenly became the true evil.

    So it is for those who leave the church. The world, which was once viewed as terrible and evil, now becomes your ally, and the church, which was once viewed as holy, now becomes the true evil. No testimony required. The truth is crystal clear.

    Rapunzels magical golden hair represents the resources that LDS, Inc. milks from it's members for their own selfish benefit.

    The tower represents the LDS gospel, which keeps people in mental bondage.

    Rapunzels struggle within herself over her dilemma of being stuck in a tower for her own benefit but wanting very much to experience the outside world represents the conflict that exists within members of the LDS church who "know its true" but want to experience life outside of the Mormon bubble.

    I am sure that there are other parallels that I either missed or forgot about. Anyone who has seen this movie, what did you think? What other parallels did you notice?

    I am personally convinced that all LDS church members are, on some level, aware that they live in a world that is make believe, just like Rapunzel not feeling quite right about life in a tower. On some level, all religious people are struggling to wake up from this bad dream.

    Monday, March 7, 2011

    Provo, UT Girls

    Here is a funny music video about the "Girls of Provo, Utah"

    My favorite part is the girl in a wedding dress hugging a tree with a missionary badge stuck on it.

    Sunday, March 6, 2011

    "Smurfing" the Internet

    I was doing a little surfing today and decided to look up websites devoted to ex-Jehovah's Witnesses. I found an interesting little bit of information along my travels.

    Jehovah's Witnesses are scared to death of Smurfs. Yes, that's right. I'm talking about the little blue creatures who are cute and run around "smurfing" things.

    Apparently in the JW world, rumors abound of Smurf dolls and Smurf wallpaper coming to life and causing mischief.

    I'm not making this up! I did a Bing search and came up with a huge list of JW's and their horror stories about Smurfs!


    So apparently, if you're a JW, no TV, dolls, wallpaper, t-shirts, etc. having anything to do with Smurfs. You can even get exed from the community if you fail to comply!

    So when you see the JW's coming down the street to smurf on your door, put on the bluest, smurfiest t-shirt you have and watch them smurf away in horror!

    I didn't know this, but apparently this summer a Smurf movie is coming out:

    When Blessings Become Dangerous

    The following story was posted on the RfM forums by a female who calls herself 'Greyfort'. My personal thoughts will follow.

    "When I was 30, I was diagnosed with pre-uterine cancer. They wanted to do a hysterectomy.

    "Of course I went straight to my Priesthood leaders and got a blessing. I was told that I would be healed and that I would bear children. When my friends said, "Well maybe you'll adopt," I replied, "No, Heavenly Father was very careful to specifically say, 'bear,' so that I'd know."

    "Instead, I was put on hormones, which made me gain 20 pounds, designed to give my body a break, and I underwent a D&C (not the Mormon variety, LOL).

    "I spent the next 14 years, going through 4 surgeries, trying to avoid having a hysterectomy. I based it entirely on what my blessings promised me. I figured that many different Priesthood holders gave me blessings which insisted that I would be healed and that I would bear children with my husband, so how could so many Priesthood holders be wrong?

    "Just before my 44th birthday, I went to a specialist a few days before Christmas. Before I'd even arrived home again, they'd called to schedule a total hysterectomy for January 3rd, less than 2 weeks from then. I no longer had a choice. That was my 5th surgery for this same issue.

    "When I look back, it makes me furious. I underwent 5 operations, two of them very serious; one where I developed an infection and ended up sleeping 16 hours a day for 10 months as my body struggled to heal.

    "I could have put my life in danger, because I'd made all of my decisions based on what those blessings said. I could have had one surgery, instead of 5.

    "I realize that the decision was always mine, but I trusted them. I believed that they spoke for God, because I'd been taught that they did.

    "And not only that, but once I got into my 40s, I finally realized that I'd been born without a libido. I'd spent my entire life waiting for puberty to kick in, and I'd finally realized that it was never going to.

    "1 or 2% of the population are asexuals, and I'm one of them. I never was even the marrying kind. Surely God would have known that and not blessed me that I'd 'bear many children.' He would have known that I would never marry.

    "It was one of my biggest cog dis-causing issues of my life. Now it just makes me furious when I think about it.

    "Apparently, many Priesthood holders can be wrong."


    For any who might be wondering, Mormons believe that their worthy men hold the priesthood. The priesthood is the literal authority to act in gods name. It is given by the laying on of hands and they believe it came directly from Jesus Christ to Joseph Smith and from there it branches out to every priesthood holder in the church.

    In order to be worthy to be given the priesthood, the candidate must live all the commandments of Mormonism and pass an interview with the bishop. Once he is found 'worthy', he is sat on a chair and several priesthood holders stand around him. They each place their right hand on his head and their left hand on the shoulder of the person on their left. On person utters the prayer. Note: This procedure can be done with just one person. Several are used just for sentimental reasons. A father can bestow the priesthood to his son, under direction of the bishop. Similarly, when a baptism is performed, any worthy priesthood holder can do it. It is common for fathers to baptize their children.

    The prayer will usually sound something like this, although it is not required to be word-for-word:

    "Bro. ___, by the authority of the holy Melchizedek priesthood, which we hold, we lay our hands upon your head to confer upon you the (Aaronic or Melchizedek) priesthood."

    The person giving the blessing may add other details as he feels 'inspired'. Usually he gives a reminder to never defile the priesthood and to use it for the service of others.

    Mormons believe that by receiving a blessing from a person holding the priesthood, they can receive instruction, healing, comfort, etc. It is taken very literally as inspiration directly from god. It is a bad idea to ignore advice from a blessing.

    There are two 'ranks' of priesthood, the Aaronic and the Melchizedek. The Aaronic priesthood is the lesser priesthood and is usually given to the young men, starting at age 12. Aaronic priestholders can not give personal blessings. They can, however, bless and pass the sacrament, and even perform baptisms. The Aaronic priesthood prepares the young men to eventually receive the higher priesthood, or the Melchizedek priesthood. Levels of 'rank' within the Aaronic priesthood are: deacon, teacher, priest, and bishop.

    The Melchizedek priesthood is usually given to young men when they are about 19 or 20, shortly before their mission. Levels of rank within the Melchizedek priesthood are: elder, high priest, and patriarch. This is why missionaries refer to themselves as 'Elder'.

    Q: Do you have to be a Melchizedek priesthood holder to go to the temple? No. However, receiving the higher priesthood and attending the temple for the first time are usually related events. Both are required before missionary service.

    As you can see from the story above, a 'blessing' is usually just the opinion of the person giving it. Most blessings sound very similar because the giver is just repeating what he has heard before.

    Mormons love to share stories about how they received a blessing and it came true. This happens all the time with blessings of healing.

    A blessing of healing is done a little differently. Mormon men carry with them, usually on their keychain, a small vial, which is filled with olive oil. This oil has been previously 'consecrated and set apart for the healing of the sick and afflicted'. The blessing is given in two parts. This can be done by one or more priesthood holders. The first part is the 'annointing' and is done by one person. The second part is the 'sealing' and can be done with one or many priesthood holders. If there are two, they each do one of the parts.

    In the first part, one priesthood holder put a drop on oil on the persons head. Then they place both their hands on the persons head and say a short blessing. It usually sounds just like this:

    "Bro or sis ____, by the authority of the Melchizedek priesthood, which I hold, I annoint you with this oil, which has been consecrated for the healing of the sick and afflicted, and I do this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

    For the second part, the group of priesthood holders (if there is a group) encircle the person as described above. If there are just one or two, then they place both their hands on the persons head. The person chosen to give the blessing will usually say something very similar to this:

    "Bro or sis ____, by the authority of the Melchizedek priesthood, which we hold, we lay our hands upon your head to seal the annointing which has taken place and to pronounce a blessing of healing upon you."

    The person may then proceed to give a blessing as he feels 'inspired'. This usually, but not always, includes a promise that the person will be healed. It may also remind the person that the blessing will only work according to their faith. The blessing usually ends with the person saying, "I pronounce these blessings upon you, and any others which the lord feels you stand in need of, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."

    Priesthood holders claim 'inspiration' when giving a blessing, however, they are usually just repeating what they have heard in other blessings. When a promise in a blessing fails to come true, Mormons rationalize it with things like:
    • It wasn't the lords will
    • He must not have been faithful enough
    • The priesthood holder who gave the blessing might not have been 'clean'
    • He was just stating his opinion
    • It will be fulfilled in the next life
    • etc.

    When a blessing "works" they get all excited and can't wait to share it with everyone. They get up in testimony meeting and, through tears and sniffles, share the story and how wonderful it is to belong to gods only true church.

    A group of men in the church is often referred to as "the priesthood". For example, you might overhear someone say, "The priesthood played softball very well yesterday."

    A priesthood holder is to never be disobeyed, especially a church leader. They have the right to speak for god on your behalf. In the family, the priesthood holder has the last say. Don't defy the priesthood. This can, and sometimes does, lead to abusive relationships where the priesthood holder thinks that his wife must submit to everything he says. Advice from a priesthood holder, such as in the story above, is taken above the advice of doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. Afterall, god knows more than the doctor.

    Women are not currently allowed to hold the priesthood. Black men were denied the priesthood until 1978, when Spencer W. Kimball received a 'revelation' basically saying that god was no longer racist.

    Does anyone have any additional thoughts on the priesthood or stories about blessings that did or didn't come true?

    Wednesday, March 2, 2011

    He Who Is the Most Righteous, Kneels the Highest

    Ok, so it's not an official rule about how to kneel when praying, but I couldn't help but notice that when any group prayer is offered, the ranking priesthood-holder always does a high kneel. Does kneeling higher make you more worthy? More righteous? More faithful?

    Maybe the older men do it that way because it puts less stress on the knees.

    This is more of a private group prayer, rather than public. For example, a family prayer at home vs. a group prayer in sacrament meeting.

    Consider the "high-kneel" vs. the "low-kneel".

    Ok, I know this picture is kinda dorky, but it was all I could find without spending an hour.

    This is how you kneel if you are a woman or a lesser priesthood-holder.

    I was recently visiting TBM relatives and they wanted, naturally, to say a group prayer. Nothing new. At least they never ask me to offer it.

    Anyway, they decided to make this prayer extra special by kneeling. Now, given my current views on god, I just won't kneel to the bleepety-bleep f**ker. He deserves zero of my respect.

    So I sat in the Lazy-Boy while the prayer was given. They didn't like it much, but life goes on. Of course, the patriarch of the home did the famous high-kneeling, look-how-faithful-I-am pose. One of his sons did as well.

    This post isn't about relatives son, but I have to say something. This particular son is "having problems" conforming to the church. He smokes and adamantly denies it. On the outside, he's as TBM as the rest, but on the inside, he's a confused young man. He has a chronic lying problem and, although he is in his early 20's, he still lives with his parents and needs to be reminded to take a shower.

    Anyone else ever notice this pattern of kneeling by rank? My grandfather used to do the high-kneel. I've never seen a woman do it.

    Many thanks to TBM relative. His high-kneel was the inspiration for this post.