Sunday, September 30, 2007

If There Was A True Religion, What Would It Be Like?

Interesting question...

I believe a true religion would have the following characteristics:

1. No money involved. Donations accepted but no pressure whatsoever to do so.

2. No real estate. The true church would meet under the shade of a tree. Jesus didn't even have a pillow to lay on so why does he need skyscrapers?

3. The true church would respect all beliefs. There would be no "I am right, you are wrong," attitudes.

4. The true church would not have a shady history that it would have to hide and lie about.

5. The true church would not be racist or sexist.

6. The true church would not teach it's members that they have some imaginary magical powers.

7. The true church would not have worthiness interviews. A person's worthiness is strictly between them and god.

8. The true church would welcome and encourage critical thinking and tough questions.

9. The churches founder would not be a pervert.

10. The true church would not claim that it is the true church.

11. The true church would not baptize children. Commitment to any religion should be made by an informed adult.

12. The true church would encourage members to help anyone in need, despite what religion or race they are.

13. The true church would encourage healthy living habits, but would not guilt trip those who do not follow it.

14. The true church would not necessarially be Christian.

15. The true church would not judge.

16. The true church would allow people to come and go as they please without threats, guilt, fear, or shunning.

17. There would be no ranking such as baptism, temple, priesthood, mission.

18. The true church would encourage families to join together, not individuals. This would reduce interfaith tension between family members.

19. The true church would believe that all humans are citizens of planet earth.

20. The true church would teach a code of conduct, but would not force or manipulate people into following it. Those who do follow it will not receive special treatment or recognition.

21. The true church would encourage people to form their own beliefs but respect the beliefs of others.

22. The true church would not punish doubters.

23. The true church would be based on facts, not fairytales.

24. The true church would encourage its members to give lots of service, if possible.

25. The true church would encourage its members to get a good quality education before getting married.

26. The true church would not discriminate against peoples different sexual orientations.

27. The true church would encourage people to wait until they are older to get married.

28. The true church would not make you feel guilty for "feeling good."

29. The true church would not teach you that you are a sinner just because you are alive.

30. The true church would provide physical activities to help anyone get fit.

31. The true church would not have a "holier-than-thou" complex.

32. In short, the true church would be everything that Jesus taught, and nothing that Christianity is today!

Just another evil apostate...

I Feel Sorry For You

For my own sanity, I try to keep my apostasy on the hush. *

*When I say my apostasy, I don't say it as if I actually believe I have apostatized. I am simply using the churches term for it, which perhaps I shouldn't. Then again, an apostasy is a falling away, and I fell away from the church. So I say apostasy. Mormons think it means I have thrown my soul in the trash. It really means that I have escaped from the vicious cycle of Mormonism.

But unfortunately, you can't suddenly quit going to church without several people noticing. At least most of them just think I am inactive and don't know to what extend I abhor the church (not the people). But some of those who do know of my "apostasy" have extended the following pity for me: "I feel sorry for you."

Now why exactly would they need to say that? I am in the prime of my life and I have never felt so free! I no longer have to fear some imaginary god. I no longer have to pay tithing or fry. I don't have to live in a vicious cycle so I can look good for all my peers. I have completely abandoned the fear of damnation. I have never been more self confident and happy in my life. Why do you need to insult me by telling me you feel sorry for me?

I am free. I can look at a picture of a naked woman and completely enjoy it without feeling shame and guilt. I am now completely guilt free and it is sooooo wonderful! I realized that it is natural to be attracted to a beautiful woman and I have no shame for it whatsoever!

I understand that you consider me a lost soul. I have thrown my soul into the trash. But that is just your perspective. It is what you have been indoctrinated with, and it is what I was able to rise above. Religion exists so that the elite can overcome it and find enlightenment. You, my friend, are still trapped in a vicious, mind controlling cult. You are still trapped by the illusion that the devil is out to get your soul and only Mormonism can save you.

You believe your silly superstitions all day long. Just quit telling me you feel sorry for me.

Just another evil apostate...

Holy Sacred Underwear, Batman!

Can't you just picture it? Robin, the Boy Wonder, holding up a pair of Mormon garments and saying, "Holy sacred underwear, Batman." LOL

Or here's another one, kind of unrelated. Darth Maul of Starwars, Episode I, holding a shopping bag in each hand and the caption reads, "Shopping Maul".

I crack myself up...

I wore holy Mormon underwear for 10 years. It was a memorable day when I stuffed them all into a Walmart shopping bad and tossed them into the trash. I even left the holy markings in them, just to defy the Mormon god. So far no lightning... Right now that bag of garments is rotting away in a huge pile of smelly trash in a landfill somewhere, right where they belong.

Seriously, what a joke! Does god, a being who supposedly lives on a planet millions of miles away from earth, really care what damn underwear I am wearing? The answer to that question is an obvious "no" and that settles everything.

Just another evil apostate...

If It Feels Good, It Is Good

Or so most people think.

The trademark claim of the LDS church is that it has exclusive access to the "spirit", the entity that makes the church true. The spirit is what tells you whether something is good or bad and warns you of danger. If you strictly comply with Mormonism, then the spirit will be your constant companion. If you sin, the spirit leaves you.

In spite of mountains of evidence that the church is bull shit, members remain loyal to the church because of the good feeling they have. They are told and truly believe that this good feeling is the most evidence they will ever need to know the "truth". A fool follows facts and evidence. An elite person follows the spirit.

The only problem, is describing just exactly what the spirit is. It's nothing more than a good feeling, so how do you know the difference between a "good" good feeling, and a "bad" good feeling? A good, good feeling would be something like hearing a hymn and getting that warm, fuzzy feeling. A bad, good feeling would be listening to a piece of non-church related music and getting that same warm, fuzzy feeling.

I have "felt the spirit" while watching an R-rated movie. Oops! How did that happen? Isn't an R-rated movie a huge no-no in the Mormon cult? An R-rated movie supposedly drives the spirit away, and yet there it is!

The "spirit" is, as I came to realize, nothing more than an emotional feeling. Ever since I left the church and have therefore had the spirit withdrawn from me, I have continued to do well in all the aspects of my life. The church describes losing the spirit as "having a stupor of thought." I have had no "stupors". In fact, I am more confident now than I ever was before and my mind is sharp and clear.

I would go so far as to say that being Mormon is the real "stupor". These people all running around wearing their sacred, holy underwear, paying their tithing with the false hope of being blessed beyond measure, and being swamped with commandments, expectations, and superstitious beliefs. That's the real stupor. Ever since I got out of Mormonism, my mind has never been so free or so open.

I now see the world as it really is, not through the demented eyes of a disillusioned Mormon. The Mormons think the earth is the battleground for god and satan, and that a war is constantly raging. Where? I don't see any war!

Oh, they'll tell me, "Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there." They will then point out that I have never seen the Great Pyramids of Egypt and yet I know they really are there. Well, the difference between this great battle and the pyramids is that if I wanted to go see the pyramids, I could. I can't get into an airplane and fly to heaven. Yes, there are some things that I know are there that I haven't seen, but you can't use that backward logic on me when trying to convince me that your cult is true!

If I can't see it (or see damn good evidence for it) then I'm not going to believe it. I have already pointed out that the spirit is not a very reliable way to judge the truth of something. Why believe in a fantasy fairy tale that has no scientific evidence whatsoever and only exists in the minds of brainwashed cult members!

Get the hell away from me, Spirit! I don't need you! "God" gave me a brain and I can make my own descisions. They might not always be the right decisions, but can you honestly tell me that every single righteous, spirit-bearing Mormon has never, ever made a mistake? The fact that they have and do is a testament to the falsity of the spirit and the church.

Just another evil apostate...

Today Was Sunday

Today was Sunday and I sat in front of the local Mormon church building. I was there to pick up my semi-active wife. She didn't stay for the entire block of boring meetings... just sacrament. A few other people were coming out early as well.

The mere thought of ever returning to church and getting back into that life of huge demands just gives me the willies. I have no desire to listen as two years olds "bury my testimony. I know the church is twue." Eew.

The funny thing, is that I didn't lose my testimony. In fact it is stronger than it has ever been. I didn't lose it; I updated it. My testimony of the church is that it isn't true.

Church members are often told by their leaders that it is very easy to lose their testimony and guess what? They are right! So to keep from losing their testimony, they never read anti-material, keep going to church, reading, bearing their testimony as often as possible, etc. My only question is, if the church is so true, why does it take so much effort to continue believing it?

Shouldn't the truth stand on its own? If the church was so true and the male members really did have the magical power of god, then everyone would know it. Real miracles would be happening everywhere, not just the ones you read about in the Ensign.

The church isn't true. The priesthood isn't real. Tithing does nothing to bless you.

Just another evil apostate...

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Amazing Mormon Buildings

Sometimes my work takes me down North Temple St., right between the great and spacious conference center and the massive church office building. What is up with these two buildings?

The Book of Mormon talks about the great and spacious building in Nephi's dream. It is described as a place of worldliness; a place the righteous saints should avoid. Ironically, there is a small stream running directly along the front of the building which might be compared to the river that sweeps people away to hell in Nephi's dream!

The church office building looks like a giant erect penis, complete with two balls. Why would the church build a structure like this? There are lots of designs a building can have but why one that literally looks like a giant phallus? Especially since the church is supposedly totally anti-sex!

Next time I get a chance, I'll take a picture of the two buildings and post them here.

Just another evil apostate...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Lying Prophet Assholes!

Every six months, the latter-day saints gather for general conference to worship Hinckley and kiss his ancient ass. Without fail, they sing, "We thank thee, oh god, for a prophet". Hinckley sits there loving every minute of it, because he knows the next day there will be a huge deposit into his bank account.

But has the man ever actually said he was a prophet?

Has the man ever admitted that he has (or hasn't) seen god?

Has the man ever made a prophesy, let alone one that came true?

In fact, has the man ever done anything prophetic at all?

I would like to see one place, anywhere, where Hinckley has said something to the effect of, "I am a prophet and a mouthpiece for god. I have seen god and he speaks to me face to face on a regular basis."

Instead, what does the prophet of fraud say? When asked by a reporter if he is a prophet, is cheesy reply is, "Everyone seems to think so. Chuckle."

When asked if god speaks to him, Hinckley answers, "Yes, I speak to him through prayer." The guy is a fucking liar and a Mormon clown.

When the giant tsunami hit, it would have been Hinckley's great opportunity to predict it. Or Hurricane Katrina, which wiped out New Orleans. But the great prophet Hinckley said nothing. Even though the Bible and Book of Mormon are full of prophets who, gasp, prophesy. Hinckley is quiet. Not one prophesy and not one straight answer.

One of my first doubts about the validity of the church was the failure of Hinckley to predict those two destructive events.

The guy is good. I mean, he does nothing prophetic AT ALL and yet has at least 4 million people completely convinced that he is a true prophet. Four million people who would bet their lives on the fraud.

Oh, sorry. I forgot. According to Dallan H. Oaks, it is wrong to criticize leaders of the LDS church, even if the criticism is true. Well, it's definitely true. And only a cult would teach you that it's wrong to criticize your "wrong" leaders.

Basically, it boils down to the LDS church leaders being arrogant, lying pricks. The money must be good in the "false prophet" industry. Maybe I'll start my own cult and for 10% of your income, I'll boss you around and make you hate yourself. Then I'll tell you that the only way to love yourself is to totally obey me and keep on paying. You may laugh, but that's exactly what the LDS church does.

Just another evil apostate...

Do Tithes Really Bring Blessings?

I was driving home today and from the freeway I could see the LDS cult's Salt Lake City temple. A myriad of thoughts went through my head including the following about tithing:

In almost every church published magazine, you can find an article about tithing. Whether it is talks given by general authorities or testimony letters sent in by members, their purpose is to try to convince everyone to pay tithing. The promise is that you will be blessed beyond measure. To back up that promise, there is always a story about someone who paid tithing and got a raise at work, or something like that.

Now with 4 million active Mormons around the world, I think the chances are pretty high that somewhere, someone paid tithing and had a stroke of good luck. This coincidence is immediately published as proof that tithing really works. And it happens enough times that they keep publishing the stories.

But I don't see that as proof that tithing works. In fact, I see it as proof that tithing doesn't work. If there are 4 million active tithe payers, then there should be 4 million stories about the millions of blessings received. The fact that there are only a few is nothing more than large numbers producing a few "miracles".

The LDS church leaders know that the chances of a "miracle" (a.k.a. coincidence) happening on a periodic basis is very high. Maybe one or two a day. That is more than enough FPR's (Faith Promoting Rumor) for them to spew from the pulpit and keep the general membership in awe about how awesome tithing is.

If this truly is the case, why does Utah lead the nation in bankruptcies and foreclosures? I mean, if the members are supposedly getting showered with blessings, how come they can't even afford to make their house payments?

Come on, LDS cult leaders, why don't you tell the real truth about tithing? How about publishing the story of every family who sacrifices to pay tithing and then goes hungry? Or how about the family that chooses to pay tithing over their mortgage because they are expecting some huge reward, and they end up getting a foreclosure?

But the church leaders know that the negative effects of paying tithing far outweigh the positive coincidences. But like always, the deceptive LDS leaders show their members the exception to the rule, rather than the norm. They are just following the old Mormon tradition of lying and deceiving their followers.

I know for a fact when I was an active Mormon and faithful tithe payer, I sure didn't get showered with blessings. Sure, there was a time when I payed tithing and then my mom helped me out financially, but that's no miracle. My mom would have helped me anyway. The guy in the Ensign who paid tithing and got a raise would have gotten his raise anyway. It's all just a bunch of coincidences that the church uses as evidence for the power of tithing. But open your eyes people! Have you ever noticed that it always happens to some guy in the Ensign, but never to you? If it truly is real, it should be happening to every single faithful tithe payer every single day.

But that just doesn't happen. Because the law of tithing is a fraud.

Just another evil apostate...

Monday, September 24, 2007

Changing Mormon Stories #1

Changing Mormon Stories is going to be a special edition of this blog where I will explore a current Mormon teaching, scripture, belief, or story and compare it to the original teaching, scripture, belief, or story. This will be done to show how Mormon stories, scriptures, and doctrines have evolved over the years. According to the Mormon church, if doctrine changes, it is apostasy and is no longer the true church. Let's point the finger of blame right back at them...

For our first changing Mormon story, we need to refer to the current version of Joseph Smith's visitation with Moroni, where he was instructed as to the location of the buried golden plates. I quote from the Joseph Smith history found in the current version of the Pearl of Great Price:

"27 I continued to pursue my common vocations in life until the twenty-first of September, one thousand eight hundred and twenty-three, all the time suffering severe persecution at the hands of all classes of men, both religious and irreligious, because I continued to affirm that I had seen a vision.

...on the evening of the above-mentioned twenty-first of September, after I had retired to my bed for the night, I betook myself to prayer and supplication to Almighty God for forgiveness of all my sins and follies, and also for a manifestation to me, that I might know of my state and standing before him; for I had full confidence in obtaining a divine manifestation, as I previously had one.

30 While I was thus in the act of calling upon God, I discovered a light appearing in my room, which continued to increase until the room was lighter than at noonday, when immediately a personage appeared at my bedside, standing in the air, for his feet did not touch the floor.

31 He had on a loose robe of most exquisite whiteness. It was a whiteness beyond anything earthly I had ever seen; nor do I believe that any earthly thing could be made to appear so exceedingly white and brilliant. His hands were naked, and his arms also, a little above the wrist; so, also, were his feet naked, as were his legs, a little above the ankles. His head and neck were also bare. I could discover that he had no other clothing on but this robe, as it was open, so that I could see into his bosom.

32 Not only was his robe exceedingly white, but his whole person was glorious beyond description, and his countenance truly like lightning. The room was exceedingly light, but not so very bright as immediately around his person. When I first looked upon him, I was afraid; but the fear soon left me.

33 He called me by name, and said unto me that he was a messenger sent from the presence of God to me, and that his name was Moroni; that God had a work for me to do; and that my name should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues, or that it should be both good and evil spoken of among all people."

The account goes on to say that this messenger, named Moroni, showed Joseph in a vision where the golden plates were buried. Ironically, Joseph just happened to live really close to this hill. What a coincidence, huh?

Why don't we go back and look at what the ORIGINAL Pearl of Great Price had to say about this. Please keep in mind that the first Pearl of Great Price was published in 1851, seven years after Joseph Smith died.

On page 41 of the original Pearl of Great Price, the following was said, beginning at the very top of the page:

"When I first looked upon him, I was afraid, but the fear soon left me. He called me by name and said unto me, that he was a messenger sent from the presence of God to me, and that his name was Nephi. That God had a work for me to do..." (bold added for emphasis)

I bet you have never heard once in church, seminary, on your mission, or in any of your studies, that the original version of this account names the heavenly visitor as Nephi. That's a lie, you say. Anyone can type it up and put it in quotes and claim it came from the original scripture. Following is a scan of page 41 from an 1851 Pearl of Great Price. You will need to click the image to enlarge it and click the "back" button on your browser to return to this page.

There is the undisputable evidence that Mormon stories change. Joseph Smith died in 1844 and this account was first published in 1851. That means that Joseph went to his death claiming to have been visited by Nephi. He never once, ever, claimed to have been visited by Moroni. Any references to Nephi in any official Mormon stories and quotes have all been changed to read Moroni.

The gospel doesn't change? Mormon stories don't change? They sure do and there's lots more. If the story was 100% true, why would "the church" feel the need to change the name of the very important Nephi/Moroni who ushered in the vision that lead to the discovery of the "most correct book on earth"?

Who really visited Joseph Smith? Smith claimed it was Nephi and the church claims it was Moroni. Is the church saying that Joseph Smith didn't really know? Nephi and Moroni were very different characters in the Book of Mormon. Either Joseph Smith lied, or the church is lying, or both. Either way, someone is lying and that just makes the church look bad!

Doh! What an obvious fuckup! Whatever the reason for the change, it must have been important as it sure makes them look like jackasses! Then again, they know they can get away with it for the most part since most members don't have any access at all to an
1851 Pearl of Great Price.

Just another evil apostate...

The God/Jesus Myth

I used to be afraid of some angry, vengeful god in a galaxy far, far away. I actually thought that god cared about me and cared about every little thing I did. I believed that if I obeyed this god, he would reward me. If I disobeyed him, he would punish me. The leaders of the LDS church were the mouthpiece for god so anything they said must be obeyed.

When I received my enlightenment, I realized that the leaders of the LDS church are lying frauds and that not one of them has ever seen or spoken with god. Those assholes run around pretending to be god's messengers so that they can control all their followers and most importantly, keep the tithing dollars flowing in. They are not holy men; they are business men, and they are in the business of selling salvation. The only problem is that the gospel they are selling is supposed to be FREE!

When I realized all these things, my fear of this hateful god vanished. Now I can tell that god to suck my dick and go to hell because he is not real. Jesus is a complete myth. He may have been a real person two thousand years ago. But he is no god. Just think about it...

Can a virgin be pregnant?

Can anyone walk on water?

Can anyone do interplanetary travel through space with no spaceship?

Can a person who has been dead for three days suddenly come back to life?

Can 5,000 people get full from 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish?

Now, is this starting to sound like reality, or like fantasy? Believing that Jesus is real is no different than believing Spiderman is real. Spiderman is cool, but he is not real! Jesus and Spiderman both go around saving people and are great heroes, but the only problem is that they are both fiction. Jesus has no place in this information age. We know too much about chemistry and science to know that the things the Bible says about Jesus are just plain bullshit!

Jesus doesn't care what you do with your life! Jesus doesn't care what you do with your money. Why? Because Jesus isn't real.

Just as Jesus isn't real, the concept of the devil is also a lie. There is no devil. Sin is a man-made concept. If there is a devil, where is he?

Just open your eyes and look at the world. It is full of millions of different life forms that are each struggling to survive each day. They kill to survive. Sure bad things happen to good people, but that is not evidence of a devil. It is just life taking it's course. Good things happen to good people. This is not a reward for righteousness; it's just life. Bad things happen to bad people. This is not god punishing all the bad people; it is just life. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. Religious fanatics can explain these things away all day long but the bottom line is that: LIFE HAPPENS. It is not directed by some god on a plant millions of miles away. Things just happen.

Sure, there are things that science can't explain, and I am not ruling out the possibility of a higher power. I am just saying that this higher power, if it exists, does not interfere with events on this planet. It does not care if you "sin" or if you are "righteous".

Here's an interesting angle on the whole god idea...

According to god fearing people, god knows everything. He knows everything that has ever happened, and everything that will ever happen. Since god is all powerful, he interferes with certain events to prevent things from happening that he doesn't want to happen.

Say a certain young lady gets pregnant out of marriage. According to the Mormon church, this young lady is only slightly less wicked than a murderer because she obviously had sex. (Mary was pregnant out of marriage and yet everybody thinks she was great) So because the girl was allowed to get pregnant, it must have been god's will because god did nothing to stop her from getting pregnant. So that must mean that god wanted her to have sex, since he didn't stop her. (Maybe god is a pervert and likes watching other people get it on). If god wanted her to have sex outside of marriage, then sex outside of marriage must not be a sin, because god only wants good and righteous things to happen. Sure, he "allows" things to happen, according to religious fanatics, but if he allowed it to happen, then it must have been his will, because nothing happens if it is against god's will.

Now catch this. According to the Mormon church, we are supposed to have kids to give them physical bodies. This young lady, broke a commandment by having sex, but fulfilled another commandment by providing a body for a spirit child of god. So in the worse case scenereo, she is neutral. Her bad act is wiped out by her good act. God obviously wanted this "spirit child" to get a body or he wouldn't have let the girl get pregnant.

So which is it, god? Is it a sin or is it an act of compassion? Your own doctrine is fucked up and confusing. But isn't Christianity supposed to be clear cut and simple? It's anything but that!

Do you start to see how stupid and ridiculous this whole idea of god controlling everything is? Life just happens! The girl had sex and she got pregnant. There are no angels crying over this lost soul. Her body is just doing what evolution has designed it to do.

There is no god in heaven keeping tabs on every bad word you say and every evil thought you have. If god loves you soooo much, why does he keep tabs on everything bad you do so that he can damn you to hell? The Christian god is a bully and someone needs to kick his ass!

Very funny, god! You made me want to have sex and then tell me I'm evil for wanting to have sex! The Christian god can go FUCK HIMSELF!!! He's not real and there is no such thing as sin. People who want your money and your will are the ones telling you that you need to strictly obey. That is why Mormonism is a cult and it's why I no longer fear that asshole of a god and all the assholes of prophets running around pretending to talk to god.

It's all a lie and I have risen above it.

Just another evil apostate...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

If You're Doubting, It's Okay

It is very difficult and painful when your Mormon world shatters.

If you are having a doubt about your faith, your Mormon leaders will tell you that YOU have a problem and need to pray and fast more. But the honest truth is that your human mind is doing a little bit of it's own thinking and it's giving you a subtle warning that something doesn't add up.

There were several factors that were all involved in my exodus. Ironically, they all happened at the same exact time. Here is a list of those factors. I will list them and then expound on each one.

1. Just a subtle doubt
2. Tired of putting on a "mask" in order to fit in
3. Just tired of church and all the demands
4. Pointless callings that take up hours of your time

1. I don't even know why, but after my mission, I began doubting the divinity of Jesus Christ. I began noticing that priesthood blessings really had no effect. It grew slowly. I remember sitting in sunday school one day listening to a lesson and every bit of it sounded like a fairy tale. I began to slowly realize that Jesus is a mythological character no different than any other "hero". I began to notice that teachings in the church and scriptures defy known facts, i.e. dead people don't come back to life, nobody can walk on water, people don't float up and down from space, etc... All these things are clear contradictions to the very world we live in, and it is a sure sign that Christianity is false. It's so obvious to me now that I can't believe I didn't see it years ago.

2. In the Mormon culture, there are certain guidelines that members are expected to follow. Those members that follow (or appear to follow) are held in a class known as "temple worthy". This is an elite group and only the most faithful and obedient fit into this class. Of course, all believers want to be included in this group. These are the top people, the heirs of the Celestial Kingdom. People in this group are not perfect but they have fully conformed to the rules of Mormonism and it is an honor to be in this group. They usually hold important positions in the church. In fact, active Mormons who are not in this group are looked down upon.

People in the "Temple Worthy" category are under a lot of pressure to maintain that position. People in this group appear to be very happy. Afterall, they have been told that ONLY by conforming to Mormonism can they be truly happy. But unfortunately, there are many unhappy people in this group. Oh, they will never admit it, because they belong to the "happy" group, but people in this group experience life problems as well as everyone else and many of them are just plain out depressed.

But they can never admit it because they have obeyed all the "commandments" so they can't possibly be miserable. They think that something must be wrong with them. So they continue going to church, putting on their happy smiling faces, pretending that life is wonderful. Afterall, everyone else in the group is happy, so if they are not happy, something must really be wrong. So to maintain their status, everyone in the group puts on their "happy mask" and lives the lie right along with everyone else. Not one of them admits they are unhappy and not one of them realizes that the system actually does not bring them real happiness. So they keep living the lie and blaming themselves for being unhappy. It's a nasty cycle and only a very few are strong enough to break out of it.

Ironically, those who break out are labeled apostates. Those people who are strong enough to set themselves free of this nasty, vicious cycle are put down, cast out, and forgotten. Very few people will ever realize that this process, while extremely liberating, is also very painful. Many people are shunned by close family and friends. This change can effect not only your standing in the Mormon church itself, but also the community if Mormonism is a majority of the population.

This process of setting yourself free from the "lie" earns you the respect of few and the judgement of many. But the entire reason you broke away was because you were tired of pleasing everyone else and looking perfect for everyone else. You realized that the time has come to please yourself and be honest with yourself. You realize that whatever anyone else thinks of you is no longer your concern. In fact, it's none of your business.

For a while, the people in the elite group will try to bring you back. They will wonder how you could ever walk away from the perfect system. But after a while, they will all forget about you and life in their nasty cycle will go on.

You are now free from the obligation of wearing a "happy mask" every sunday. If you feel like shit, then it's okay to feel like shit! If life isn't going your way, it's okay to accept it. If you feel unhappy or upset you know it's just a human emotion and you don't have to hate yourself for feeling that way. In fact, once you walked away from the vicious cycle, you have noticed that you have more love of yourself and more self confidence than you ever did before. People still stuck in the cycle can never understand this, and very few of them ever will. Most of them will spend their entire miserable lives in this cycle, hating themselves and wearing a huge smile.

Although you are labeled by them as the apostate, you know deep within yourself that you are free and they are not. They are prisoners to the system. They are in a prison that they cannot see or feel. The door to this prison is wide open; all they have to do is walk out. But for fear of what others will think of them, they choose to stay in their prison.

I was in the elite group and I was tired of putting on the "happy mask" and pretending that life as a Mormon was wonderful. I was miserable. I was getting sick and tired of church. And I was most tired of playing the pretend game. I was following all the "rules" and yet my life was not perfect and I was not happy. I was tired of lying about it to everyone around me and I was tired of lying to myself. I had to get out.

3. Demands, expectations, commandments, obedience. My last post covered this topic very well.

4. I had a calling as assistant ward clerk. While there were some good aspects of this calling, I soon discovered that I was going to church early for meetings, and staying late after church for meetings and/or tithing counting. The tithing part was actually fun. It was cool to see who paid what. I had the dirt on everybody! But for some reason, Mormons love meetings and I found myself going to meeting after meeting and they were completely pointless. The only thing they did was waste my time and make me resent the church. It didn't take very long before I was completely burned out.


It's hard to say which of these factors had the most influence on my decision to stop going to church. I can't put one above the other because they were all equally present in my situation. Quitting church has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. The pressure is gone. Pressure to be in the elite group, pressure to obey all the commandments, pressure to believe in nonsense, and pressure to waste my time with pointless callings. It's gone! And I am free! If you're doubting it's okay! It's normal. If god didn't want you to think, he wouldn't have given you a brain!

Just another evil apostate...

Monday, September 10, 2007

Mormons Are Good People

Yesterday I happen to run into a member of my local ward. He is a very nice and quiet older man. Now, as an apostate, and even back in my TBM days, I always liked this guy just because of how cheerful and friendly he always is.

Obviously this gentleman I ran into knows that I no longer go to church. It was a Sunday and he was dressed in suit and tie. Probably doing home-teaching or something. We talked for at least 10 minutes and he never once made a disrespectful remark. This is a truly good man. I feel the same about his wife. Together, they are about the sweetest couple you could ever find.

There are some mighty fine people who are Mormon. Many people truly love being LDS and I would never want to take that away from them. I know the truth for myself and I know that, for me, being Mormon was depressing and repressing.

Different people just believe different things. Although I always felt that life as a Mormon was hard and unfair, I still believed it with all my heart. Many of the Mormons in my life have accepted my non-belief, just as I accept their choice to continue believing.

Life shouldn't be about trying to convince other people to believe what we believe*. Life should be about accepting and celebrating all kinds of diversity, religious, racial, etc. Life should be about being the best person you can be, taking advantage of the time we have to make the world a better place for ourselves, our children, and the millions of people who will live on this earth long after we are all dead.

* One might accuse me of trying to do exactly that. I simply post my thoughts online and let anyone read them who wants to. If an active Mormon reads this and chooses to keep believing, that's up to him. I simply present my thoughts and evidences and let my readers choose what they will do with it.

Just another evil apostate...

Saturday, September 8, 2007


Today we went to a dinner celebration for some Catholic saint. We were a little late and walked into a prayer session (everyone was holding a prayer book and reciting out of it). It was odd. First of all, reciting a prayer out of a book makes the prayer meaningless. If there is a specific sequence of words that god wants you to say, why isn't it in the Bible?

As we sat there and listened, it sounded very chant like. Very cultish.

Any organization that teaches that they are the best, established by god himself, is a cult. Hmm. Doesn't that sound like the United States? Whenever we are at war, we always say stuff like "God bless America." It's like Americans want god to protect us, but he wants us to kick everyone elses ass. That is an extremely unChristian attitude. God doesn't love other people from other countries. If you're going to say "God bless America," you might as well be saying, "God curse all other countries." What we should be saying is, "God bless the world." Although I believe god is a fictional character, at least it doesn't make people sound like huge fucking hypocrites!

America is a giant fucking cult. People are running around brainwashed thinking they are free and thinking that god blesses America and curses every other country in the world. If god is so much on our side, why do American soldiers get killed every day? If god is on our side, why did he allow the events on September 11 to occur?

Frankly, I'm shocked to see so much hatred in the world. How come we always pray for the families of fallen American soldiers, but we never pray for the families of fallen enemy soldiers? America is a Christian nation and doesn't the Bible teach that we would love our enemies and do good to those who despitefully use us?

I mean, I thought god loves all people equally. But most Americans think that god only mourns an American death. Wake up people! You are all living in a delusion that god want us to win and kick everyone elses ass!

Even though America has enemies around the world, do not the enemy soldiers who serve their respective countries have families and loved ones too?

America thinks god is on their side. Osama Bin Laden thinks Allah is on his side. Wake up, people of the world. You are all a bunch of fucking hypocrites! All religions teach peace and kindness and yet you all think god is so happy for you when you kill a whole bunch of your enemies. FUCKING HYPOCRITES!!!

Wake up people and stop serving this "god" who loves war and destruction. If there is a god, he hates war and he cries each time he receives a prayer to "protect ours and kill theirs".

The bottom line is that god doesn't give a shit who wins any war. If he did, he could just make all of the enemy soldiers drop dead. That would give his "chosen people" a quick and easy victory. But god doesn't interfere in human affairs because "god" is just a man made being and all the cults of the world think their god is the true one. Forget about your damn gods and start thinking about humanity!

God doesn't interfere because there is no god. If there was, it would be pretty obvious. When I look at the world, all I see are events taking their course. Some are sad, some are good. God does nothing to prevent sad or promote good. Those things just happen.

It's too bad that the entire population of the world is fooled into worshiping some imaginary god in the sky who they have never met or seen or heard.

Just another evil apostate...

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Do I Miss Going To Church?

It has been two and a half years since I have sat through an entire LDS church service. I've been to a couple of funerals, attended two baby blessings, and a ward trunk-or-treat in the church parking lot.

According to Boyd K. Packer, a funeral service should be all about preaching the gospel and very little said about the deceased. I found that to be the case in all the funerals I have attended.

I attended the blessings of two nephews. While invited to stand in the circle, I refused both times and did not take the sacrament. I remember as a child and an adult, being bored to death in sacrament meeting... it hasn't changed. Sitting through about one sacrament meeting a year is about all I can handle.

In short, I don't miss church AT ALL!!! It is boring and full of pressure to obey the lord's 1001 requirements to get into heaven.

There toward the end of my activity, I felt extremely weighed down with expectations. Add to that the guilt of not fulfilling them all, and that equals one depressed person.

They never let up about tithing. If you don't pay, you'll burn. It's a trial of your faith, the only problem is, it's always a trial... I never got any special rewards.

Home teaching, it is just as important a calling as the prophet's calling... except that no one wants to do it. We sat in elders quorum and got guilt tripped for an hour every damn sunday. Besides, why does the bishop need me to be his eyes and ears? Why doesn't the lord just inspire him to know who needs help in the ward? Isn't "continuing inspiration" one of the central themes of the church? DUH!

One sunday, in the general priesthood meeting, the bishop had everyone stand up. He then instructed everyone with a current temple recommend to sit down. Obviously, those left standing did not have their recommends and were made an example of in front of everyone. Talk about manipulation!

Pointless meetings, before and after church. A complete waste of time. I read an article about "busywork for the lord" and that is what it's all about.

Temple work. I never had any "bad" experiences in the temple, other than that strange feeling that something wasn't right. It was all so wierd that I was left perplexed. I know other people felt the same way and yet they would always stand up in testimony meeting and express how deeply wonderful and spiritual it was. Of course, those of us who know the real truth, know that they are just saying it because it's expected of them. Reminds me of the emperors new clothes. No one is brave enough to admit that the temple is just plain fucking wierd!

Never refuse a calling. And I never did, although I really, REALLY wanted to. Being TBM with a good heart, I accepted callings on faith, although I have since realized that the LDS cult wants hours and hours of free labor. Ironically, I have to pay THEM to work for THEM! What a system they've got going!

Another very strong pressure that is put on the young men... the damn priesthood. A mormon man's fantasy magical powers. My one question... if you can move a mountain with the faith of a mustard seed, then how come worthy, faithful priesthood holders can't even move one teeny pebble? If a blessing is "according to god's will" then what's the purpose of the damn blessing in the first place?

A mission. If you don't go, you're just wrong. Honestly, I dreaded going on a mission all my life. I went, hated it, and returned home with honor. A missionary is treated like a robot. Every detail of their life is spelled out by the church. You are not allowed to have any feelings or emotions. You're not allowed to be human. The churches favorite missionaries are those who blindly follow every rule, no questions asked. This just goes to show what the church does to people who willingly turn their will over to the church. They control EVERY aspect of your life. Ironically, the church claims to be all about free agency, but they do the exact opposite as soon as they are given the chance. BYU is no different. I wouldn't go there if they paid me! I wouldn't go there even if all the chicks on campus were naked! I wouldn't go there even if my life depended upon it! I would rather die than go to BYU and have this cult watch every move I make and dictate what I wear and how I groom. I never went to BYU but I've heard stories and they make my skin crawl.

Then there's the biggie... sexuality, or more accurately, the complete lack of sexuality. To think about sex in any way is a sin. To touch yourself for the purpose of sexual arousal is a sin. To touch another person in a sexual manner (petting) is a sin. To french kiss or make out is a sin. Anything outside of marriage is a sin. Talk about a group of sexually frustrated people. It is only human to have feelings of attractiveness or being horny. But the church heaps a ton of guilt on people for these very normal feelings. The result is a bunch of people who hate themselves and rely heavily on the system to "overcome" these "temptations". Then you get married and it goes from nothing, nada, zero to full blown sex. In fact, it then becomes a sin to not have sex! Just remember, mormon sexuality is like buying a car that you have never test driven or even read a manual about. In fact, it's like buying a car before you even have your drivers license!

The word of wisdom is actually one aspect of mormonism that I still agree with... mostly. I never smoked and I am damn glad that I didn't. However, I've had the occassional alcoholic drink and I'm not a raging alcoholic. The church wants everyone to think that one drink WILL lead to alcoholism, which WILL totally ruin your life. NOT TRUE. Then I look around me at all the word of wisdom followers and they are fat, out of shape, slobs! I guess the lord was just kidding when he said the saints could run and not be weary. Lots of them can hardly walk! Go figure.

Of course, then there's the pressure to do the every day things, pray and read your scriptures. Pray, talk to your imaginary friend. Honestly, did praying ever get you anything that you wouldn't have gotten otherwise? Prayer does nothing. NOTHING.

Read the scriptures. How many people actually do this every day? Honestly, with all the expectations that are heaped upon mormons, how can they actually have any spare time to sit down and read an extremely monotonous and boring book?

Gain a testimony. If you don't have a testimony, then something is wrong with you. There is some sin you haven't repented of. I've always wondered, if the church is the absolute source of truth, as they claim, why do I need to constantly remind myself of it for fear of losing it? I would think that absolute truth would stand for itself and be a little hard to forget. And yet the leaders always warn about how easy it is to lose your testimony. Something just doesn't add up here. Truth shouldn't have to be brainwashed! It should stand on it's own and refute all claims against it, but in fact, the LDS church does the opposite.

Scientific and historical evidence have basically proven that the church is false. Add to that a little common sense and you just found the real truth. The LDS church is a fraud. And guess what? I don't need to repeat it to myself every day for fear of losing it. I don't need to bear my testimony of the falseness of the gospel so that my conviction will grow! It is truth and it stands on it's own! There is no doubt and no fear of losing it. I don't need to constantly brainwash myself for fear of gradually slipping back into activity! It just makes me laugh how stupid the churches system really is once I sit down and start thinking about it!

When I stopped going to church, all these expectations were lifted and I felt a peace that I hadn't felt for a long time (if ever at all). By it's very nature, mormonism is exhausting and depressing. Freeing myself from the church is by far the most liberating move I have ever made.

Why the hell would I ever want to go back?