Friday, February 29, 2008

Happy Leap Year Day!

I don't know if that's officially what it's called. But once every four years an additional day is added to our callendar. This means that every fourth year has 366 days rather than the traditional 365. This is done because the rotation of the earth around the sun is not exactly 365 days. It is actually very close to 365 & 1/4 days.

Feb 29 only comes around once every four years, so if you were born on Feb 29, 2004, then today is your first birthday! LOL

The church is still a fraud!

Just another evil apostate...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Just to Get You Thinking...

General Authority: "Apostles are special witnesses of Jesus."

General Authority: "I am an apostle."

Innocent Bystander: "Have you personally seen Jesus?"

General Authority: "How dare you ask me that!"

What's wrong with this picture?

Monday, February 25, 2008

Why Can't You See It?

As I and other bloggers discuss our feelings about the LDS church, I read, especially on more popular blogs, where LDS defenders come to say their two cents.

Many of them ask, "Why are you so full of hatred that you have to tear down someone elses belief system?" They honestly don't understand why we do what we do. They, of course, are free to believe whatever they want, as are we. We "tear down" god's only true church because that's exactly what it isn't. It's a cult and a fraud. Ask any ex-member and they will all tell you how relieved they are to get out and do their own thinking.

We are like an army that is trying to set free our enslaved brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers. The problem is that our loved ones have been captivated for so long that they prefer their prison and they even fight us to defend it. They don't realize that we are trying to show them their mental captivity and how all they have to do is walk out. The door to their prison is wide open and yet they all cling to the prison bars, afraid to venture out into the unknown.

That brings me to their next questions: "Well, if you don't believe in the church, then what do you believe in?"

Could this be a cry for help? Perhaps they don't want to follow us because they are not sure that we ourselves know where we are going. The thing about us ex-mo's is that we do not claim to have all the truth. Many of you are right when you say that we know what we believe is not true but don't know what is.

As scary as it sounds, not knowing the path ahead is no excuse for taking that first step. Some ex-mo's leave the church only to join other Christian faiths. Some, myself included, choose the atheist path. Having abandoned my entire belief system, I'll be the first to admit that I have no clue what the real truth is. It is very possible that there is no truth.

Not knowing is part of the adventure. Is there life after death or is it the end when we die? I have absolutely no idea. But that not knowing only makes life that much more precious. The possibility that this life could be it just makes the moments I'm with loved ones that much more enjoyable.

The beauty of not knowing is that it forces one to think for themselves. Sure, it would be easy to go back to church and have the leaders do all my thinking for me. But I have a brain and if they were meant to do my thinking for me, then they would have my brain.

Mormon's have this delusion that they "know" it's true. I once thought that way. I knew it was true. But that is just a very carefully designed lie. No one knows. You can't truly know something if you have never experienced it. No one alive today has experienced death and therefore they can't possibly know it. I could read 1,000 books on the culture of China and get a pretty good idea of what life there might be like. But I'll never truly understand it until I actually go to China, until I experience it for myself.

Therefore, the idea that they "know" it's true is simply absurd and is just more proof that they are brainwashed by a very slick cult. The one thing that they do know, is that their emotions feel good when they think about the church. This is mistakenly interpreted to mean that the church is true. Hell, even though I now understand the real truth, I still get those feelings sometimes and I have to remind myself that they are just my emotions.

Folks, judging the truth of something just by the way you feel about it is a pretty stupid thing to do. For example, if the spirit was real and could warn of spiritual danger, why do all my relatives assume that I am still a full believing member when they are around me? I am a pleasant person to be around and even though I am a complete apostate, not one of them catches the warning from the spirit that I am a cancer to their eternal salvation. NOT ONE!

I am not meaning to deceive anyone by any means. If they ask me what I believe, I will bluntly answer. But out of respect for them, I keep my mouth shut and let them assume away. They are allowing themselves to be deceived by relying on a source of truth that isn't even real. If the spirit was real, they would all be able to sense the absence of any Mormon spirituality in me. Even my most faithful and strong Mormon family members are completely clueless as to my apostasy. Why doesn't the spirit warn them? Because the "spirit" is not real and exists in the form of their own emotions, inside themselves and nowhere else.

This habit of relying on an inside source of truth keeps them virtually numb to everything on the outside. Therefore, no matter what facts or evidence is produced, it only numbs them more and their belief in the only true church grows. I read comment from TBM's who acknowledge that we have good points and facts but they choose to simply ignore them because the church has to be true. They are numb to any real thinking or rationalization. All they know is that that church is true and anything that opposes it must be from the devil.

The hard fact, that is difficult even for myself to accept, is that no one knows the complete truth. We are not meant to know. We are born into this world to make whatever sense of it we may. Some people see a tree and see just that, a tree. Other people would see the same tree and see Jesus hanging from a tree. Some might see the tree as a living thing with the right to live, while someone else might see the tree as fuel for next winters heat.

Why should I spend my entire life proving myself to some god, when that god can't even show himself to me for three seconds? Why should I devote my life to a being I have never met and probably never will meet? Especially since that "being" has promised me all sorts of things and none of them have come true?

There is scientific evidence that mankind, as he is today, has been on earth for about 40,000 years. The evidence for evolution is overwhelming. Life has existed on this planet for several million years. The earth itself is 14 billion years old. This has been proven by science. Nothing the Bible says about the earth and our "creation" has any scientific merit whatsoever. Nothing! Science has disproven Christianity in every instance. I know there are those who would disagree, but it doesn't matter. I trust science because it is real. It has been observed and tested. Science is used to better our quality of life and even hardcore believers in Jesus take advantage of the benefits that science provides. They will take advantage of the comforts, but then discredit it whenever it disagrees with their preceived "truth".

The real truth is that Jesus does not exist any more than Santa Clause exists. And until Jesus gets the cajones to show his face, I'll never believe in him.

So, TBM's to answer your questions, no, we don't know everything. The one thing we do know is that the church is a cult and you are brainwashed to the point that you would die to defend it. Where you go once you have set yourself free is entirely up to you. But that's the beauty of it all. You don't know where the road ends and that makes life an adventure, not a chore. Being Mormon is a chore. You just run around like a robot, doing everything someone else tells you to do until you die. That's a chore; that is slavery. No thanks! I would rather die than be a Mormon ever again.

Just another evil apostate...

Sunday, February 24, 2008

How Biblical Prophets Were Selected

Since there are so many Mormons out there that just don't get it, I want to make it really simple. Ever since Gordon B. Hinckley died, it's been all over the news here in the Salt Lake Valley that the next president of the church is chosen by popular vote. Is this the way prophets are supposed to be selected? Let's take a look at how prophets in the scriptures are selected...

1 Samuel 3:4

4 That the Lord called Samuel: and he answered, Here am I.

It doesn't look like Eli voted for Samuel.

Exodus 3:1-6

1 Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.

2 And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.

3 And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt.

4 And when the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I.

5 And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.

6 Moreover he said, I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.

It would appear that god selects his own prophets, not some council.

Even though the First Vision never happened, it is more accurate in Joseph's calling to be a prophet than the current LDS way of doing things.

"When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!"

The First Presidency today will not comment on whether any of them have ever seen god. In fact, asking them if they have is strongly discouraged. Funny, Joseph Smith boldly claimed to have seen god and not one of the LDS leaders today will even comment about it. They claim that they have had experiences "too sacred" to share. But why then was Joseph so open about everything he saw? If it's "too sacred" to share, then why do you call yourself a special witness? Isn't a witness supposed to tell what they saw?

Let's face the facts, the LDS leaders today have not seen god and they know that if they admit it, it will seriously discredit them. And yet if they outright claim that they have seen god, then they, like Joseph Smith, could be taken to court for fraud. So those sneeky bastards just keep on pretending to be special witnesses, neither admitting nor denying that they have seen god or Jesus.

Of course, to those of us who finally opened our eyes, we know that Jesus is nothing more than a myth and that makes every Mormon claim totally bogus.

Dispute me if you can!!!

Just another evil apostate...

Self-Fulfilling Prophesies

Last summer, because I had absolutely nothing better to do, I took a trip to downtown Salt Lake City to see Temple Square and all the things there are to see. I had never been on the roof the Conference Center before so I decided to ask one of the senior missionaries there if they would take me up there. I got a personal tour from a nice gentleman.

The roof is actually quite amazing, as is the entire conference center. There are trees, gardens, and streams. There is a fountain which sits directly above the podium. This fountain branches off into 12 streams and that, of course, represents the gospel being brought to the 12 tribes of Israel.

The Conference Center has a single spire. My tour guide informed me that Brigham Young saw this building in a vision and described it as having only one spire. Amazing! Brigham Young must have really been a true prophet!

But this amazing prophesy doesn't have me fooled. How hard is it for Gordon B. Hinckley to read the vision that Brigham Young described and then set out to build a building that matches it? It's like me saying I'm going to slap you... and then I slap you. It is a self-fulfilling prophesy. It proves nothing.

Now why didn't Brigham Young prove he was a true prophet by describing a computer and predicting that in the 1990's the internet would come into place and change the world? That would be a truly amazing prophesy.

Unfortunately for the church, Mormonism is full of self-fulfilling prophesies. There are no real prophesies. In fact, Joseph Smith gave many prophesies which never came to pass. One such example is when he predicted the return of Jesus Christ. D&C 130:14-15

14 I was once praying very earnestly to know the time of the coming of the Son of Man, when I heard a voice repeat the following:

15 Joseph, my son, if thou livest until thou art eighty-five years old, thou shalt see the face of the Son of Man; therefore let this suffice, and trouble me no more on this matter.

Joseph Smith would have been 85 years old late in the year 1890. Jesus didn't come by then. It's a prophesy that is 100 years late and still hasn't happened. Joseph Smith died in 1844. The above verse suggests that the all-knowing god didn't know how long Joseph would live. All you have to do is read the scriptures and it quickly becomes obvious that it's all a fraud. There is not one difinitive prophesy that gives Joseph Smith any credibility! Sad. Actually, Glad. I don't have to live my life following a horny con-artist.

Just another evil apostate...

Just Think About It...

If you just stop and take the time to think about it, you don't need proof that the church is not true. You don't need the Book of Abraham fiasco. You don't need the thousands of changes to the Book of Mormon. You don't need to know that the temple ceremony was plagerized from the masons and that the concept of the "Celestial Kingdom" was plagerized by Joseph Smith from an earlier auther. It's all right there in front of you.

You just need to think about it...

If Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet of god, how come he is voted into his position?

If the priesthood is real, how come people with genetic diseases can't be cured?

If faith can move mountains, how come the most faithful, righteous priesthood holder can't even move a pebble?

If the temple is the house of god, why is it built by men?

Yet again, if the temple is the house of god, why is money exchanged inside?

If the tithing promise is real, how come you are never showered with blessings until you don't have room to receive?

If the Word of Wisdom keeps you healthy, why are there so many FAT Mormons?

Why does the church require you to pay tithing when both the Bible and the Book of Mormon say that the gospel is free?

Why do leaders of the church condemn science and then turn around and use it to spread their message?

Like I said, it's all right there for anybody to see. All you have to do is think about it.

Just another evil apostate...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

What the Scriptures Don't Teach

Here's a good question that I have been thinking about lately...

According to the LDS church, Jesus established his true church while he was on the earth. His church back then, was identical to Mormonism today since Mormonism claims to be the truth restored.

If Jesus did found his true church, then the Bible should contain the fulness of the gospel. And if Jesus established his true church in the Americas, as the Book of Mormon claims, then it too should contain the fulness of the gospel.

That being the case why does neither the Bible nor the Book of Mormon:
  • Clearly teach about eternal families?
  • Detail temple work for the dead or other temple ceremonies?
  • Teach that tithing is necessary for salvation?
  • Describe the concepts of home and visiting teaching?
  • Outline the incredible "ear-ring" commandment?
  • Require secrecy? In fact, they both condemn it.
  • Have the Word of Wisdom?
  • Have the temple recommend interview questions?
  • Teach that temple attendance is necessary?
  • Teach constant bearing of your testimony?
If anyone has more items they can think of to add to this list, I would appreciate it. So really, if the Bible and the Book of Mormon really do contain the fulness of the gospel, why are there so many Mormon beliefs that are not taught in either book?

So in addition to all the teaching that are found in the scriptures, the Mormon religion heaps even more expectations and demands on it's followers. Honestly! If neither book contains the teaching, then why do the LDS believe it? They will say it is because we have revelation, but that doesn't add up. The Book of Mormon is supposed to contain the fulness of the gospel, which means everything! There should be no more additional beliefs beyond what the Bible and Book of Mormon teach.

Just think about it!

Just another evil apostate...

Apostacy & the Churches View On It

The churches view on apostacy is simple... we can change our doctrine and beliefs, but no body else can.

The whole premise of the church is based on the idea that Christ's original church fell into apostacy over a period of many years. Since the true priesthood was lost, no one had the authority to preach or baptize. So as reformers tried to restore things back to the original, more and more branches of Christianity sprang up.

Joseph Smith, under divine guidance, was able to restore the true church of christ with all of its original teachings. But since 1830, the LDS church itself has undergone many doctrinal and scriptural changes. According to the Mormon church, if any doctrine or scripture is changed, then apostacy has occurred.

They are indeed guilty of apostacy and yet feel that they are immune from it. Why? Because they hold a direct line of communication with god. Since it is really god's church, god can change it any time he wants to, right? Wrong!

What about the scriptures that say that god is the same yesterday, today, and forever? Not only that but Mormon leaders from the beginning have claimed that the gospel never changes at all, not because of popular demand or because of pressure from governments. Their message has always been that the gospel does not change!

If it does not change, then why do they change it? They will try to take you on this roller coaster ride of "continuing revelation" to justify any changes they make. But if they truly are lead by god himself, why do they need to change anything? Shouldn't their perfect god get it right the first time?

Basically, the Mormons don't believe in change and yet they change and credit it to "revelation". Their perfect god still hasn't gotten it right, so he needs to keep revising things. It makes them look like the blubbering fools that they are!

One great example is the revelation in 1978 that officially allowed blacks to have the priesthood. Despite statements by Brigham Young that god would NEVER allow the black race to hold the priesthood, god felt the need to repent of his racism and allow blacks to have full rights to the blessings of the church. This is a doctrinal change that they attribute to "revelation". And yet, by their own definition, a change in doctrine is apostacy. But the church never changes... One could go crazy trying to sort it all out!

Just remember folks, the church is true no matter what and we can change our history, doctrine, and scriptures, but no body else can!


Just another evil apostate...

The Fastest Growing Religion... not the Mormon church.

Any time one reads an article or sees a documentary on the Mormons, the LDS church is almost always introduced as the world's fastest growing religion. The authors of these articles need to check their facts however. The LDS church is not the fastest growing church; in fact, it is currently in a decline!

Joseph Smith, the founder of the LDS church, stated that “the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear…” (Joseph Smith, History of the Church, Vol. 4)

As bold as this claim is, the facts tell a different story. If one takes an objective look at the numbers published by the church, it is clear that not only are most other religious groups growing much faster, but that the growth of the LDS church is currently in a decline.

With a reported growth rate by the church of about one million new members every three years, which calculates to 1,000 new members per day, the numbers seem impressive. But compare that to the Assemblies of God, who bring in 10,000 new members every day. The Seventh-day Adventist Church, with membership numbers very close to those of the Mormon church, have brought in 900,000 new members each year since 2000.

With one of the largest missionary forces in the world, the number of convert baptisms is surprisingly low. It was reported in General Conference that there were 321,385 new converts in 1996. In 2004 there were only 241,239. That is about a 3% decrease a year or 25% over 8 years! 2005 showed a slight increase at just 243,108. Please refer to the following chart:


The numbers in this chart are taken directly from the churches General Conference in April where annual numbers are reported each year. They are published in the May Ensign of the corresponding year. Notice the difference in converts between the year 1996 and 2004, which is very close to 60,000. Also notice the number of missionaries serving in 2002 versus the number serving in 2004, a difference of more than 10,000.

The church hasn’t always had such growth problems. In fact, from 1940 to 1980 there was a 53% growth boom. It was projected that if such numbers continue, there would be 265 million Mormons by the year 2080! These are exciting numbers for the church but it appears that it won’t be happening any time soon.

The church currently lists a membership of about 12 million. Even if this number is accurate, how many of these are regular church-goers? A world-wide estimate is that only 35% are active. This is only 4 million active Mormons, which is only 0.001% of the world’s population.

While activity numbers are low, retention is also a major problem for the church. About 75% of new members never become active or stay active only a short time. Many of the First Presidency messages in the Ensign and Liahona (two church published magazines) focus strongly on staying active, especially to new members. President Hinckley: “To those of you who are new, I plead with you to continue with us. We need you...” If the leader of the church himself has to beg new members to stay, there is obviously a retention problem.

What has caused the churches recent decline in activity and new converts? Most experts agree that it is the internet. With a vast array of information available at any computer with internet access, some of the churches better kept secrets are now broadcast to the entire world, including temple ceremonies and shady moments in church history. Investigators are turning to the internet to learn more about this very enticing religion, and many of them end up asking the missionaries not to come back.

The church has recently released a program called “The More Good Foundation”. This program is designed to offset the churches negative publicity online. Members are encouraged to start blogs and web sites which share their testimonies, experiences, and other positive aspects of the church. The hope is that an investigator will find one of these sites instead of an “anti” site and will go on to join the church.

Another possible cause for the decline in Mormon baptisms is a recent drop in the number of full time missionaries. The churches new policy, which they call “Raising the Bar” has upped the ante for missionary service. Potential missionaries are no longer allowed to engage in forbidden activities and then repent shortly before they leave for service. “The day of the 'repent and go' missionary is over,” said M. Russell Ballard in his “Raising the Bar” speech, given in General Conference of October 2002. The number of missionaries who served in 2002 was 61,638 and this dropped to 52,060 in 2005. “In raising qualification standards for missionary service, the church anticipated some decline in the number of missionaries serving,” said Dale Bills, LDS spokesman. The drop in the number of missionaries has definitely had an impact; however, convert numbers were already dropping before this new policy was put in place.

One final problem for the church is the number of people who resign each year. Although the church does not report such numbers, it is estimated that approximately 125,000 people officially resigned from the church in 2006.

The official membership numbers for 2006 have not yet been released (I wrote this article for a school assignment in early 2007), but if they follow suite, there will be about 240,000 new converts, 95,000 children born, and 125,000 resignees, which is a net growth of 210,000 new members, of which only 52,500 will remain active. This is a growth rate of one million active members every 20 years! Doesn't sound like it's growing very fast to me!

Church leaders have not commented on this loss of numbers and do not seem to even notice, at least not in the public’s eye. In fact, they continue to preach that all is well and that the church is still rapidly growing. “Today, the Church grows in 170 nations throughout the earth… This expansion of the Church means many of us will have opportunities to serve those who are new converts.” This quote was given by Anne C. Pingree in the April 2006 General Conference and published in the Ensign the following month. It is clear the church is not alarmed by these statistics. They either don’t care, or prefer to keep the general membership uninformed.

The church believes that, ultimately, no matter what the opposition, it will continue to grow. According to the numbers made public by the church, the number of convert baptisms is dropping every year, and of those who are converted, 75% become inactive right away. It is clear that the church is definitely in trouble. Something needs to dramatically change if they wish to continue claiming to be the world’s fastest growing religion.

Works Cited:

Ballard, M. Russell. “The Greatest Generation of Missionaries.” Ensign Nov 2002: 46.

Hinckley, Gordon B. “A Perfect Brightness of Hope—to New Members of the Church.” Liahona Oct 2006: 2-5.

History of the Church Vol. 4, pg 450

More Good Foundation. 8 Feb 2007 .

“More On Real LDS Growth Numbers.” Mormon Curtain. 8 Feb 2007 .

Pingree, Anne C. “To Grow Up unto the Lord” Ensign May 2006: 74-76

Stack, Peggy. “Keeping members a challenge for LDS church” Salt Lake Tribune 22 June 2006.

Stack, Peggy. “Unintended consequence of church's 'raising the bar'.” Salt Lake Tribune 22 June 2006

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Thomas S. Monson Named 16th Church President

Thomas S. Monson is the new President of the Church, with Henry B. Eyring as First Counselor and Dieter F. Uchtdorf as Second Counselor. (Wow, they're sure moving the new apostles up the ladder quick, aren't they? It's obvious they're trying to get some younger faces in the top slots.)

Let's get to know our buddy Thomas S. Monson a little better, shall we?

The Peril of Hidden Wedges
Author Of Article: Iosepa

This month President Monson titled his article, "The Peril of Hidden Wedges". It is a good article encouraging us to forgive, to change, and to repair our lives so that we will be strong enough to weather the storms of life. For the most part I think he gives good advice.

But it makes me upset that he can say this while he leaves hidden wedges in the church. Does he not realize that it is difficult for everyone who has a hidden wedge to remove it? He seems to imply that for others it should be simple. I am reminded of the Japanese following WWII the emperor, as part of the treaty agreement, had to announce to all of his people that he was not deity. It was absolutely devastating to his people. They had fought a war for him, and lost. And now they learned that it was in vain. Ultimately, for the Japanese this became an opportunity that they were able to grow from. And they did until they became one the strongest economic capitals of the world.

I am sure that among those who read this post others will have other experiences that they have personally been a part of or witnessed where someone had to admit fault and it was very challenging.

The LDS church has the papyrus scrolls. They have had many educated scholars look at these and verify each others translations of them. And from this they know that Joseph Smith did not translate the Book of Abraham from them as he claimed.

This is one of the hidden wedges that the church should try to remove and be honest with. It is much easier for President Monson to teach that someone else should remove theirs, than it is for him to lead by example and do it for himself and the church.

Does he not realize that the process for anyone to forgive someone who hurt them is very difficult? And in some cases near impossible.

He sits there writing this article telling others to fix their life by doing the near impossible to forgive, to change, and to repair the damage done by having this wedge in their life (and I feel he is correct in encouraging this kind of action) but he is not taking the initiative to set things right in the church where it has been wrong in the past. Thus leaving a wedge in the church that will ultimately compromise its strength to the point of collapse.

It would be terrifically difficult to admit a fault of this magnitude. It would compromise the church in ways never before seen in the existence of this church. But there is good to be found in the church and from this it could grow to become an excellent institution. It would start a change in the church that would be enormous and painful for most of its active members but in the end it could evolve into a far greater church that doesn’t suppress its people and has a better outreach of help to those in need.

As in most situations they will have to eventually either remove this wedge as well as others or be destroyed by the storms in life. If they are eventually forced to do it the damage already done may be too great to ever recover from. So it is my hope that a leader will eventually have the moral courage to take this and other problems on even with the knowledge that it could destroy the very existence of the church.

Hmm... Another lying hypocrite!

Just another evil apostate...

We Need to Get Him Baptized

I recently attended a wedding where a relative of mine got married. Her new husband is not a member. It was nice seeing friends and relatives not seen in a long time. I was having a good time until one of my uncles came up to me and said something like, "We need to get him (the groom) baptized."

That made my stomach turn. Why the hell can't you just accept the groom for the good man he is? Why are you so anxious to shove your religion down everyones throat? Why are you so intent on making everyone believe what you believe?

This particular uncle, as expected, is a hardcore Mormon. He eats, breathes, and drinks the church. While I do understand that his intentions are good, it has caused me to feel a little resentment towards him. He is a good man and his only true flaw is that he, like so many others, gobble up what the "profit" says without giving it a second thought.

I can't really blame him. He was born and raised in it. Apparently he has never taken the time to sit back and think for himself. He's just another victim of the brainwashing cult. Very sad...

Just another evil apostate...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Waiting For William

DATE POSTED: May 2, 2007, at 07:01 AM

I knew I shouldn’t have watched tonight’s PBS special on the Mormons. It made me intensely sad and I’m having trouble controlling the tears. The story about the Mormon woman who died giving birth to her eighth baby really struck a chord with me.

I, too, exhausted myself to create a body for a spirit waiting in heaven. He was a little boy and his name was William. Married and away from home at the age of eighteen, I found myself pregnant immediately. It wasn’t planned and I was shocked, but ready to take on the responsibility of motherhood. When I saw him on the ultrasound for the first time, I was overcome with emotion. There was my baby. It wasn’t clear if my baby was a boy or a girl, but I didn’t need a picture to let me know. I knew my baby was a boy and that his name was William.

At my five month check-up, there was no heartbeat. An ultrasound was ordered and it was clear that my baby was dead. I was utterly alone. My family was over two thousand miles away and my husband was in the military on a mission and wouldn’t be home for many weeks. I was told by the Navy doctor that I would have a miscarriage soon enough on my own and to go home and wait for it. So I did. I waited and waited. A month passed. No miscarriage. I was in a deep depression away from home and carting around a dead baby. I felt constantly ill.

One night I awoke with a fever of one-hundred and six degrees. I knew no one to call and felt too sick to drive, so, shivering and wrapped in blankets, I knocked on my neighbor’s door and told her I thought I was dying. She kindly drove me to Balboa Naval Hospital in San Diego. I don’t remember exactly what happened after that. I know I had a terrible infection and I know they took out my baby. And I was young and stupid and thought for some reason I’d be able to see him afterward. So, after the surgery, I asked the nurse if the baby was a boy. She told me that it was, but that was no surprise to me. I asked if I could see him. She replied, “No, honey! That baby was in no shape to be viewed.” So I asked what they’d done with him and she said, “Well, we disposed of him.”.

They disposed of William. They threw away my baby. I was inconsolable but it didn’t matter; there was no one to console me anyway. After a few days in the hospital I went to my empty apartment and called my Bishop. He gave me a blessing and in it he told me my baby boy needed a perfect body and that Heavenly Father would send him to me again in due time. The comfort I received from that blessing carried me through the next four years until I would have my first successful pregnancy.

I had Courtney and was thrilled. But I knew I needed to make a body for William. He’d waited so long for me to finish college. So I got pregnant right away and had a miscarriage. Then I had Madeline. Then a series of many, many miscarriages over the next four years. No pregnancy would stick. There was too much scar tissue from the earlier infection and operation so doctors scraped it out and still I didn’t get pregnant.

Finally, after nearly giving up, I had a successful pregnancy and had Chloe. The doctor warned me not to have another baby. She said it was a very bad idea. But William was still waiting. So against all medical advice, I got pregnant. I knew this was the one. It had to be.

Immediately a tumor began forming in my uterus right along with my baby. It had to be removed while I was still pregnant. Unfortunately, I had what I can only describe as some sort of multi-organ breakdown at the same time. My gallbladder became infected and I got terribly sick. It had to be removed. In that operation, an artery was accidentally severed and I lost some blood. They said they gave me seven units, but I really don’t know if that’s a tremendous amount or not, but I do know I was so sick I barely remember the week I spent in the hospital with blood pressure that just would not rise.

I recovered just enough after two weeks for them to remove the tumor from my uterus, operating right next to my growing baby. When I found out I was carrying a girl, I was happy, but pained at the same time. What about William? How would I ever make a body for my baby boy who’d been waiting so long and who had been promised to me in a blessing? My doctor told me my tumor-filled uterus would likely be removed after I delivered the baby. So, I prayed and fasted and cried and prayed some more.

After a few months I gave birth to my beautiful little Annie and immediately afterward, just as predicted, my uterus was removed. And my hopes for William went in the garbage right along with it. For months I grieved my baby boy and finally came to the realization that Heavenly Father would give him to another family. What had I done wrong that my blessing did not come to pass? I always tried to be the best Mormon I could be but that wasn’t enough.

It was almost exactly a year later when I told my husband the church was a fraud. The people in the ward thought I’d lost my mind and had a hormonal imbalance. My husband thought I had postpartum depression. But it was none of those things. I just knew deep down in my heart that Joseph Smith lied and I couldn’t live a lie anymore. Of course, now I know William was never waiting for another body at all and my Bishop had no authority to tell me he was. William was just a little dead baby in the trash. But sometimes, like tonight after watching “The Mormons” on PBS, I really miss him.

During all my years as a TBM, I was innundated with ridiculous FPR's (Faith Promoting Rumor)on a variety of subjects (usually on obedience to "laws" such as that of tithing). I can't even honestly say I was ever exposed to the opposite viewpoint. I always accepted FPR's as fact and never considered the possibility that for every "faith based miracle" story was an equal and opposite tale of sadness, misery and woe.

I have another story of a former mormon woman who was dirt poor and kept getting promised by her Bishop that she would be blessed for paying her tithing and shortly after she handed over her last few dollars to "settle her tithing", she was forced to then ask the Bishop for help in supplying groceries for herself and child. The Bishop refused.

Most Bishops probably would have been happy to offer this woman, who had so faithfully done what was asked of her, some relief by way of welfare assistance, but that's not the point here. The point is, her Bishop turned her away, when she was in desperate need.I fully intend on keeping a file of these kinds of stories - I think I'll call them RPF's (Reality Promoting Facts) - for the next time I'm stuck at some "Family Home Evening" with my TBM in-laws. That way, when a tear-invoking FPR on the blessings of tithing or patriachal blessings are shared, I can maybe maintain some balanced perspective with an opposing viewpoint.

Oh, and in closing, I would like to point out that I was only able to watch the second half of "The Mormons" on PBS, and I was fairly impressed with the presentation. Like KimberlyAnn, the author of the above article, I too was shocked and saddened for the man who lost his wife because of their DELUSION that they were somehow responsible for bringing another life into the world. Don't get me wrong, I think children are wonderful little bundles of joy, but I also think people should know when to stop having them. Isn't the world getting a little overpopulated as it is?

That was too high a price to pay for something rooted in LDS teachings.Tal Bachman hit the nail on the head when, in his interview on the special, he said "Mormonism may be the greatest thing ever invented, but if it's invented, it's not worth dying for."

Sunday, February 3, 2008

What A Mission Is Really Like

I think it's time I talked a bit about my mission. I served two years as a full time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I served in an English speaking mission in the USA. For my security, I won't say where.

I'm not going to tell a specific story this time. I'll just share some of my thoughts I had and truths that I came to personally believe.

I came to understand right away that the mission rules were nothing more than control. My first companion was a drill sergeant and I quickly discovered that all the Elders who were staunch rule keepers were also assholes. They believed in Satan's plan: they would make you obey. As a missionary, the church completely takes away your freedom and practically your personality.

About a year into my mission, having had mostly good companions, but also having had a few staunch rule keepers, and having developed somewhat of a reputation as a "non-conformer", I came to the understanding that the mission rules were not inspired. Now, this is a TBM missionary, who wasn't doubting if the church was true, but just that the mission rules were totally not inspired.

I had one apartment which had a basement and I used to take a chair down there so I could be alone and just meditate. I came to some very important discoveries:

Because of all the pressure on young men to serve a mission, most of them really don't want to go, but are there to please their families and girlfriends. Knowing this, the church puts strict guidelines on them. They watch each other and report any discrepancies to the mission president. Now keep in mind that these "inspired" rules come straight from a true prophet of god, so if you don't obey them all, then you are openly rebelling against a true prophet and therefore god. They even threaten your eternal salvation if you do not obey.

  • They tell you what time to get up in the morning.
  • How long and what to study.
  • What time you need to leave the apartment.
  • Pray before doing ANYTHING.
  • If you have a car, using the backing rule (One companion stands behind the car ANYTIME it is going in reverse. I grew to despise this rule).
  • Never be alone.
  • The two of you can not be alone with a girl (the chuch is seriously afraid that the three of them will have a spontaneous orgy. The only physical contact you can have with someone of the opposite sex is a handshake).
  • You only listen to music that is appropriate for sacrament meeting (this varies by mission).
  • Absolutely no TV or movies.
  • No personal time, except an appointed day called P-day in which you do laundry, grocery shopping, write letters, play sports, etc. (Actually it's only half a day)
  • Always wear your missionary attire unless you are playing sports.
  • No calling anyone at home; the only exception is that you may call HOME on Mothers Day and Christmas.
  • Every night you report your numbers to the distric leader. This includes: hours spend finding, hours spent giving service, number of first discussions taught, number of 2-6 discussions taught, number of contacts, number of Books of Mormon given away, time spent with members, etc. (They claim it's not about numbers but people, but that's utter bullshit!)
  • They tell you what time to be back at your apartment and what time to go to bed!

If you do anything personal on a non-Pday, you are stealing time from god and it could effect your salvation. As a missionary, they keep you under tight wraps, and threaten damnation if you do not completely conform. You are required to write a weekly letter to the mission president and have a monthly interview with him.

I could see right away that it was nothing more than two years of brainwashing. I came to the conclusion within a few months that the rules were not inspired and were there to keep all the missionaries (who didn't want to be there) under control. What a system!

I didn't doubt that the church was true but I seriously believed that the missionary program was completely uninspired. Why did I need such strict rules when I supposedly had the "spirit" to guide me? Why did I have to be watched so closely when I had (for the most part) kept myself worthy to serve a mission? If I could control myself when I was alone before my mission, why did they need to put me in a fish bowl now? In other words, if I had met the standards to serve a mission, why were they so afraid that I would suddenly turn into a hellion? Why did I need a companion to be constantly with me when missionaries in the Book of Mormon when their separate ways ALONE? (Alma 17:17)

17 Therefore they separated themselves one from another, and went forth among them, every man alone, according to the word and power of God which was given unto him.

This is something that all missionaries experience. And yet a TBM returned missionary will not tell you that. He will tell you how wonderful and uplifting his mission was. It was the most amazing time of his life. Many of them will brag that they loved it so much that they didn' want to come home. Lots of returned missionaries have a hard time adjusting back to "gentile" life. They are so used to having all of their thinking done for them, that they can hardly function when they get home. The transition was a piece of cake for me. I wasn't about to let someone else do my thinking!

As such, I was junior companion my entire mission, even though I had some companions who had absolutely no regard for any of the rules at all! I had one senior companion who would sleep in until noon, listen to whatever music he wanted, call girls from his past areas, punch holes in our apartment walls, never do any missionary work, leave me alone while he went somewhere wearing regular clothes, and abuse the living hell out of our mission car. I was no where near that rebellious, but it just goes to show how "inspired" my mission president was. This guy was the senior companion and who was I to oppose his leadership as the senior companion?

When I got home, I'll never forget the clown who officially released me from missionary service. I met him in his office and he asked me a few brief questions. The only one I really remember was, "Since you have been home, have you continued to obey the mission rules?" What a completely pointless question! If I say "no" what are you going to do? Not release me? Send me back? What a moron! Anyway, I got safely released and my new purpose of life was to HURRY and find my eternal companion.

That does remind me of one experience. One of my last companions had a guitar and I would play it occassionally. I learned how to play, "I hope they call me on a mission." In addition to the regular lyrics, I made up some additional verses to go with the song:

"I hope they call me on a mission
When I have grown a foot or two.
I hope by then I will be ready
To teach and preach and work
As missionaries do!

"Now I am serving on a mission
Now that I have grown a foot or two.
I hope that I can stay worthy
To work and sweat and slave
Like missionaries do!

"Now I am a returned missionary
I've worked hard for a year or two.
It's now my duty to get married,
And steal your girl like returned
Missionaries do!"

Ah the memories. I almost did steal some missionaries girl. It turns out she was just using me for making out until her man got home! Being used never felt so good! She had some huge titties! Unfortunately, I was so worried about being righteous that I never played with them. DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! They were nice and big!

Just another evil apostate...

Friday, February 1, 2008

Changing Mormon Stories: Changes to the Book of Mormon

LDS Church Edits Book of Mormon Title Page!

Check out this video on Here they describe how the church is changing just one word in the introduction to the Book of Mormon. That one word, however, changes the implications dramatically. Isn't change a pure sign of apostacy?

This isn't the first time the Book of Mormon has been edited since it's original publishing. There are thousands upon thousands of small changes such as spelling, grammar, and punctuation. As a document supposedly produced by the awesome power of god, don't you think that god would know how to spell and punctuate?

But not only are there many small changes to the Book of Mormon, there are some major changes as well, changes that drastically alter the meanings and the doctrine being taught. A lot of the good examples occur in 1 Nephi. For example:

1 Nephi 12:18 (1830 version)

and the large and spacious building which thy father saw, is vain imaginations, and the pride of the children of men. And a great and terrible gulf divideth them; yea, even the word of the justice of the Eternal God, and Jesus Christ, which is the Lamb of God, of whom the Holy Ghost beareth record, from the beginning of the world until this time, and from this time henceforth and forever.

1 Nephi 12:18 (current version)

And the large and spacious building, which thy father saw, is vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men. And a great and a terrible gulf divideth them; yea, even the word of the justice of the Eternal God, and the Messiah who is the Lamb of God, of whom the Holy Ghost beareth record, from the beginning of the world until this time, and from this time henceforth and forever.

First of all, just comparing these two quotes, one can see the punctuation changes. The major change here, obviously, is changing the name of "Jesus Christ" to "the Messiah". The actual name of Jesus Christ is not "revealed" in the Book of Mormon until 2 Nephi 25:19, a whole generation later. The church, realizing that 1 Nephi slipped out the name of Jesus Christ too early, knew they had to change it. How can 1 Nephi know the name of Jesus Christ if it is not even revealed until 2 Nephi?

Way to go, Joe!


1 Nephi 10:3 and 19:13, where he mistakenly prophesies future events in the past tense:

1830 version:

10:3 How that after they were destroyed, yea, even that great city of Jerusalem; and that many were carried away captive into Babylon; that according to the own due time of the Lord, they should return again; yea, even be brought back out of captivity; and after they are brought back out of captivity, to possess again the land of their inheritance.

19:13 And as for they which are at Jerusalem, saith the prophet, shall be scouraged by all people, saith the prophet, because they crucify the God of Israel, and turned their hearts aside, rejecting signs and wonders, and power and glory of the God of Israel;

Current version

10:3 That after they should be destroyed, even that great city Jerusalem, and many be carried away captive into Babylon, according to the own due time of the Lord, they should return again, yea, even be brought back out of captivity; and after they should be brought back out of captivity they should possess again the land of their inheritance.

19:13 And as for those who are at Jerusalem, saith the prophet, they shall be scourged by all people, because they crucify the God of Israel, and turn their hearts aside, rejecting signs and wonders, and the power and glory of the God of Israel.

As you can see here, the phrase "saith the prophet" was removed since it was repetitive. In addition, Joseph Smith mistakenly used the past tense when writing these prophesies. However, in the story he was writing, these events had not yet taken place. From the characters' points of view, it was a future event and they would not have written it at all in the past tense.

Doh, Joe!


Another big example of a wording change that makes a huge difference in doctrine is that of the Trinity. In 1 Nephi 11:18, 21, & 32 the original Book of Mormon said:

18 And he said unto me, Behold the virgin whom thou seest, is the mother of God, after the manner of the flesh.

21 And the angel said unto me, behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

32 And it came to pass that the angle spake unto me again, saying, look! And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, that he was taken by the people; yea, the Everlasting God, was judged of the world; and I saw and bear record.

Now the current version says:

18 And he said unto me: Behold, the virgin whom thou seest is the mother of the Son of God, after the manner of the flesh.

21 And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

32 And it came to pass that the angel spake unto me again, saying: Look! And I looked and beheld the Lamb of God, that he was taken by the people; yea, the Son of the everlasting God was judged of the world; and I saw and bear record.

Once again, notice all the punctuation corrections. Then, obviously, is the addition in all three verses of "the Son of". The change from "God" to "the Son of God" is a major doctrinal difference. In fact, the beginning of the original Book of Mormon taught the Trinity doctrine, while the latter part of the original Book of Mormon taught the belief that LDS believe today, three separate and distinct individuals. There are other instances in the original Book of Mormon where the Trinity doctrine was taught.

If it is / was the most correct of any book on earth, according to Joseph Smith, why did the original version teach the Trinity doctrine? Once again, if this book was produced by the awesome power of god, why was it so full of mistakes? Minor or major, it doesn't matter. God is perfect. His perfect book should be flaw free. So how come it's not?

Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon and as his influence and beliefs changed, so did the doctrine in the Book of Mormon. Other factors from Joseph's life show up in the Book of Mormon as well. Just one, for example:

Before Joseph became a "prophet" he had his magical seer stone, later called the Urim and Thummim. He claimed that he could use it to find buried treasure in the ground. For money from local farmers, he would use this stone and tell them where to dig for buried treasure. When they dug and found nothing, he would claimed that it had slipped away. There is proof of this in court documents, as well as proof that he pled guilty of fraud by using his magical stone. This idea of slipping away shows up in the Book of Mormon.

Hel. 13: 35 Yea, we have hid up our treasures and they have slipped away from us, because of the curse of the land.

One fraud after another, Joseph Smith went from buried treasure to buried golden plates. None of the farmers who employed him ever found any treasure. And the golden plates, on which was engraven the Book of Mormon, were never seen by anyone credible and they conveniently vanished after his "translation" was complete. True prophet of god, or lying fraud? I'll let you decide.

Use your brain and a little common sense tells you the real truth, Joseph's Myth is nothing but a huge lie!

A special thank you to Dr. Shades of for providing much of the information used here. Go browse his web site. He's got a lot of good information and some funny, yet ironic material as well.

Just another evil apostate...