Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

What Really Happened In the Sacred Grove

I figured that since I have a time machine, I might as well use it as much as I can so I went back in time to 1820 and hid a video camera in the sacred grove.

What I am about to share is all documented as I have it on video!

Some time in early spring, on a beautiful, clear day, a 14-year old boy comes into view. He is carrying a bag. As he looks around, finding himself alone, he opens the bag and pulls out the newest edition of Palmyra Penthouse.

As he flips through the lascivious pages with one hand, he begins whacking off with the other hand. He especially likes one pretty angel. "What a vision!" he says as he eyes her naked form on the page. It's the first time he has ever seen anything like this.

Just as the son reaches overhead and shines through a open spot in the leaves, showering him in a ray of sunshine, he climaxes crying out, "Oh, god! Oh, god! Oh, Jesus!"

Although it is indistinct, he appears to be heard saying, "No church is true if they won't let you look at this stuff. I'm going to start my own."

He falls to the ground and for a long time he just lays on his back, looking up into heaven. He has just had a pretty wild experience!

As caught on film, this event is confirmed to have happened on many different occassions since.

Doesn't this make a lot more sense? I mean, when you were 14, were you obsessed with church?

The Bottom Line

I've got a time machine and I went back to Joseph Smith's time and hid a recorder. The following is the transcript of that recording.

JS: "Hello, Brigham. You've really got to try this!"

BY: "Try what?"

JS: "14 year old pussy."

BY: "Sounds great, but how do you get a 14 year old to let you, you know?"

JS: "Oh that's easy. All you do is tell her family that you just had a vision and that god wants you to have her. If they let you, then they all get to go to heaven. If they don't let you, then they all go to hell. They are so damn gullible! It works every time!"

BY: "Damn, why didn't I think of that?"

JS: "But that's not all. When your wife finds out and gets really pissed about it, just tell her that you received a revelation that if she doesn't shut up, god will destroy her!"

BY: "Shit! When you're a prophet, you really get to do anything you want, don't you?"

JS: "Sure do! One time, this girl's dad asked me if I was really sure that it was a revelation and I had to think quick! I told him that I really didn't want to fuck his daughter, but an angel with a flaming sword threatened to kill me if I didn't."

BY: "And he actually believed it?"

JS: "Hook, line, and sinker, my friend! It's amazing what people will do if you promise them salvation for it. Hell, I've got fathers practically unwrapping their virgin daughters for me."

BY: "Do you think I could try it?"

JS: "Sure, but we need to keep in on the DL for a while. All you need to do is tell the girl that god wants you to marry her. We do this little bullshit marriage ceremony and then she's yours."

BY: "Hmmm.... my neighbors wife is kind of hot."

JS: "Got that figured out too. I just send her husband off on a mission and once he's gone I tell her about my little revelations. It's not a few hours after he's gone that I'm banging the hot little bitch!"

BY: "It's so crazy it just might work! But what will we say if people start asking questions?"

JS: "Way ahead of you, brother. We tell them that god wants us to be polygamists. As the leaders, we need to set the proper example."

BY: "You de man!"

JS: "Hey, all you got to do is come up with some dazzling bullshit and people will walk off a cliff for you. Just promise them salvation, riches, royalty, mansions, and power."

BY: "I'd better start thinking up some of my own bullshit. You're so bad!"

JS: "It's not bad if god wants you to do it. Anytime you're in a pickle, you can always think up a good revelation to bail you out."

BY: "I'll remember that. I can't believe how gullible they are."

JS: "I know! I'm fucking their daughters and they're paying me to do it! (Both laughing)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Why Bless Your Food?

Why do people think that we have to bless our food? A typical Mormon blessing over the food usually includes the phrase, "that it may nourish our bodies and give us health and strength." Well, I got news for you, people. It isn't a miracle of god that makes your food digest. It's your body.

Do you seriously think that if you don't bless the food, that it will just sit and rot in your stomach? I hope you don't. So therefore, if the food will get digested anyway, and will give you health and strength anyway, then why bother blessing it?

You're going to try and tell me that the other reason you pray over your food is to give thanks to god for it. Did god go to work for you so that you would have money to buy food? Did god take you to the grocery store and buy the food for you? Did god provide the table and dishes on which you place your food? Did god prepare and cook it for you? No? Then why thank him? He did nothing.

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being grateful for your food, but why don't you give credit where it is due? Thank the breadwinner and the cook. Thank the farmer and the rancher. Thank the truck drivers who transport it. Thank the grocery stores who stock it.

God, who is supposedly so powerful, actually does very little once you stop and really think about it.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

A Confusing Mormon Funeral

I recently attended the funeral of the husband of my wifes friend. He was a good man, but didn't care much for the Mormon church. In fact, he smoked like a chimney and drank beer like it was going out of style. I'll call him Mike.

For some reason that I'll never understand, he was given a Mormon funeral. His wife is Catholic and he, like I stated, didn't care much for the LDS religion. Yet he had a Mormon funeral in a Mormon meeting house.

LDS doctrine teaches that those who die without having received the gospel go to a place called "spirit prison" where they stay until someone teaches them the gospel and they accept it.

Have you ever been to a Mormon funeral where they preach that the deceased is "now in the spirit prison"? I haven't. In fact, the bishop presiding over this funeral stated how Mike was now in the loving arms of the saviour.

Um, actually, no. He's in prison. Is that another LDS doctrine that they are now trying to pretend never existed? Mike was basically an anti-Mormon; the arch-enemy of Jesus. So why do they make such conflicting statements at his funeral?

I don't understand how they could talk like the guy was sitting in heaven with Jesus when he was not a Mormon in this life, was a heavy smoker and drinker, and was even against the church. He had never been to the temple so he never learned the secret passwords and handshakes. Since you need them to get into heaven, how can they claim that he was now with Jesus?

I just don't get it. Are they admitting that their own gospel is just hot air? Or are they just idiots? Or are they trying to preach it up so that the non-members in the audience will feel warm and fuzzy?

Their statements at Mikes funeral about his current condition completely contradict everything they teach about what happens in the afterlife. He's not in the arms of Jesus; he's sitting in a spiritual jail cell.

Outer Darkness...

According to Mormon lore, there are four possible places a person can end up in the afterlife: the three degrees of glory and outer darkness.

The first degree of glory is the Celestial Kingdom. This is where god lives with all his most faithful and righteous Mormons. Has the glory of the sun.

The second degree of glory is the Terrestial Kingdom - reserved for those who never accepted the gospel but were still good people. Has the glory of the moon.

The third degree of glory is the Telestial Kingdom - the place where really wicked people go, such as murderers, and adulterers. Has the glory of the stars.

Outer Darkness - the final resting place of everything apostate. Has no glory at all.

Those who deserve to go to outer darkness are those who once embraced the light and truth of the Mormon gospel, and then, for whatever reason, turned away from it. This sin, known as denying the spirit, is unforgivable. The apostate can return to the fold before he dies and be forgiven, but once he is dead, it's too late. Those who go there are called the Sons of Perdition. No women will ever go there because they don't hold the priesthood.

Outer darkness is the equivalent of the traditional hell, only different. Instead of fire and torture, it is an endless, dark vacuum. It could be described as a place in the universe so distant from any galaxy that there is no light or matter. It is just dark nothingness. This is the eventual fate of satan and all his followers. Your soul will remain here for eternity with no chance of redemption.

Deeper LDS doctrine teaches that those in the lower degrees of glory can slowly but eventually work their way to the top glory. However, if you go to outer darkness, it's forever. What does a person have to do to go there? Simply state that he no longer believes in the LDS gospel. That's it. You'll be satan's roommate for eternity.

Murderers and rapists get to go to the Telestial Kingdom, which Joseph Smith described as being so beautiful that, if we could see it, we would kill ourselves to go there. So a murderer gets a pretty damn good reward and the person who intellectualized themselves out of the church gets outer darkness.

So if the fate of an apostate is so horrible, why did I dare to leave the church? Why am I so willing to trade my eternal soul for a few years of fun and party? Is that measley 10% really worth my soul? It's a pretty risky gamble. If it really is true, then my soul is screwed.

But that's just the thing. It's not true. The LDS church, again, uses fear to keep it's members from leaving. Threaten them with a punishment that is so horrible that they will be too scared to leave.

The LDS gospel functions on fear. Every aspect of it promises great blessings for obeying and horrible punishments for disobeying. I recognize this and that's why I am no longer afraid. There is no outer darkness. It's just another lie of LDS, Inc.

A person can stop paying tithing and still make it to one of the degrees of glory. But an apostate will tell other people not to pay. God just can't have that.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Mormons Celebrate Catholic Church

This just in! Right off the LDS Churches official news website: President Monson joins the Catholic church in celebrating a 100 year old cathedral in downtown SLC.

Isn't the Catholic church the church of the devil according to Mormon doctrine? In fact, it was made perfectly clear in Mormon Doctrine. Later versions of this book had that teaching removed. However, I was always taught that the Catholic church was the whore of the earth. (You know, for stuff like praying to Mary and other saints, for baptism by sprinkling, for believing in the Trinity, and other things like that. I always thought it was very fitting that Catholic school girls have to wear mini-skirts as part of their school uniforms. Just raising up their little whores!)

Naturally, statements and teachings like this make the LDS church (who never criticizes other churches) look very bad. So what do they do? Remove all access to any references to teachings and quotes of this nature and run around pretending like they were never said. They are getting really good at doing it. They have thousands of latter-day saints believing that the doctrine of valiance in the pre-existance = white skin and prosperity in this life is a false doctrine.

This makes me lose whatever respect I ever had for them. You see, if they would just come out, admit that the teachings were wrong, and then apologize for them, at least they would have ONE quality to admire: integrity. But no. They just hide the quotes and pretend that they were never said. Or they try to pass them off as someone's "opinion". Then they turn around and preach their doctrine of "accountability". F#c&i*g hypocritical cowards!

So now, all over the Church News you can see Monson pretending to be "happy" that the Catholic church has a strong presence in Utah.

If we are supposed to emulate the great example set by these noble leaders, then we should be: dishonest, liars, hypocrites, money hungry, and completely void of integrity.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Happy 2nd Birthday, Mormon411

Two years ago today I published the first post of this blog. Now, two years later, I have published 278 posts, nearly all of which I have written myself.

I served a two year mission for the lord. Now I have given two years to satan. Are we even? Not even close!

I gave 30 years of my life to the morg. Damn it! I'm going to take it back!

Tell you what, LDS, Inc. I'll delete this entire blog for $5,000,000. That's all the tithing I ever paid, plus interest. You're in the business of shutting people up with money. This one will cost you!

Five million bucks would be one hell of an awesome birthday gift!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

About Brigham Young's Adam-God Doctrine

By Richard Packham

I had found irrefutable evidence that BY had taught it, and it continued to bother me. I finally decided to try to settle the matter. If the doctrine were true, I was willing, as a faithful member of the church, to accept it. If it were not true, I needed some explanation about the apparent fact that Brigham Young (and other church authorities of his time) vigorously taught it. So I composed a letter to Joseph Fielding Smith, whom I respected very much, and who at the time [1950's] was the Church Historian and the president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. If he would only answer my letter! I spelled out to President Smith my dilemma: the evidence seemed to be clear that Brigham Young had taught that Adam is God the Father. But the present church does not teach this. What is the truth?

I secretly thought (and perhaps hoped) that President Smith would write back and say something like: "Dear Brother, your diligence and faith in searching for the truth has led you to a precious secret, not known to many; yes, you can be assured that President Young taught the truth: Adam is our Father and our God, and the only God with whom we have to deal. The church does not proclaim this precious truth because we do not wish to expose the mysteries of God to the mockery of the world. Preserve this secret truth as you do the secrets of your temple endowment."

I received a short and clear answer to my letter from President Smith. It was quite different from what I had expected. He wrote that such an idea was unscriptural and untrue, and completely false. He did not deal with the evidence that Brigham Young had taught it. He ignored the whole problem as if it didn't exist.

Either Smith was a liar and servant of Satan, or Brigham Young was not a prophet. Either way, the church was false.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My Thoughts About the Sacrament

As I talked about the sacrament in my last post, I realized that I haven't talked about it much and probably should.

To the LDS, the sacrament is the most important reason for going to church. When you eat the bread and drink the water, it is almost like being baptized all over again. Each time you take it, you are renewing your commitment to Jesus Christ. As you honor that commitment, Jesus forgives you of your recent sins.

The sacrament is administered by the young men of the ward. Before sacrament meeting starts, the young men fill the water trays with small cups of water. A piece of bread is placed in the bread tray. After the opening prayer and some ward business, the congregation sings a song, during which, the priests take the bread and break it into pieces. After the song, a verbatim prayer is said over the bread and then the deacons pass it out. The members each take one piece of bread.

After the bread is passed, another verbatim prayer is said over the water. The two prayers are similar but do have their differences. Once again, the deacons pass the water, once the prayer has been properly said.

The bread represents the body of Jesus Christ and the water represents his blood.

Once I started thinking about it, I realized how barbaric this ritual is. Let me explain.

First of all, Christianity is based upon human sacrifice. It was gods plan from the beginning to send his son to earth to be sacrificed. And we thought that only primitive cultures did that sort of thing.

But that's not the worst of it. Not only is Christianity based upon human sacrifice, it is also based upon cannibalism. We say a prayer over Jesus' dead body and then we eat it. We say a prayer over his blood and then we drink it. That's disgusting!

When you think about it that way, it really sounds cultish, does it not? It sounds primitive and almost satanic. Well, I, for one, refuse to take part in any of that. Not only am I no longer ashamed to not take the sacrament, I am proud of it. I am surrounded by barbarians who think that by eating the body of their master, he will love them for it. Gross!

And they say that atheists are the heathens...

The Sacrament, Fear, and Healing

In LDS culture, someone who has committed a sin of some significance and who confesses to the bishop is usually forbidden from taking the sacrament for a period of time. As the sacrament is administered publically, those around you who notice you pass up the sacrament tray will automatically know that you are on the bishops 'watch list'. Everyone knows that someone not taking the sacrament is being disciplined by the bishop. They don't know what you did, but just the plain fact that you are prohibited from the holy sacrament is an indication to everyone that you have committed some offense.

This one thing is the reason that I was so afraid to confess my sins for so long. Although my 'sins' were fairly insignificant, I was horrified by the thought that everyone in the ward would know that I sinned. Of course, that made me feel even more guilty for being too 'prideful' to confess.

This is the life of a Mormon. At least it is the life I experienced. This fear of what other people think is one of the tools used by the church to keep its members under control. I have heard (unconfirmed) that some bishops required the person seeking forgiveness to confess to the entire ward during testimony meeting. Talk about humiliation.

But it's a tool for the church. When the members see a person being so publically humiliated, it scares them into conformity. A deep part of Mormon culture is the fear of what other people think.

For me, overcoming this fear has been my biggest challenge. But step by step it is making progress.

For example: At some early point during my apostasy, my TBM father approached me privately (to his credit) and asked if I would like to assist him in giving a priesthood blessing to a sibling. In Mormonism, you never say no.

I was temporarily stunned. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to but on the other hand, I didn't know how to say no. I grew up being taught that you never say no. But then something inside me made me do it... I couldn't be dishonest with myself. I told him that I would rather not. He accepted it and left it at that (again, to his credit). He has never pushed the issue since.

Since my apostasy, I have had the uncomfortable pleasure of attending a few sacrament meetings for baby blessings or missionary home-comings. At these moments, I am forced to face my childhood fear: do I take the sacrament while everyone is watching or do I pass it up?

Each time I find myself in this situation, I have to make a decision. Is my personal integrity greater than the fear of what other people think? Yes it is. I pass the tray. I have passed another crucial step in my recovery: the fear of knowing that everyone sees me pass up the sacrament tray.

As I progress, I realize that I do not need to be ashamed or apologetic because of my new beliefs (or lack of them). If they choose to gossip about me because they saw me pass the tray, then it is their problem. I have had to slowly learn that whatever people think of me, it doesn't matter. The only person whose opinion about me matters, is me! And I think I'm a great person!

I was again forced to face this fear when I was offered a blessing. I politely refused. In this specific situation, I was offered a blessing three times. I politely refused each time. Amazingly, I made it through this specific situation just fine without the aid of the priesthood. Imagine that.

A few months ago, the JW's knocked on my door. I was expecting company so I answered it. Two nicely dressed women were standing there. They introduced themselves and asked me if I was religious. By this point, I'm getting over my fear. I told them that I am not. Well, they began their little schpiel about the end of the world and how only Jesus can make it all okay. I told them that I don't believe in the end of the world.* They were polite about it and left me with some literature (which went directly into the trash).

*Why are religious people so obsessed with the end of the world? They believe it could happen any day. I wonder what they will be saying in 1000 years from now when it still hasn't happened. Sure, the world will eventually end. In a couple of billion years from now when the sun runs out of fuel the earth will become a giant ice ball. But that's a scientific end of the world, not a religious one. And unfortunately, Jesus won't be there to save the believers.

Not too long ago, my father asked me what my position was with the church. He caught me off guard and I didn't know what to say. I'm not ready yet to come completely out of the closet. He knows I'm inactive and he knows I don't take the sacrament, but I don't think he knows that I'm an outright atheist who anonymously blogs against the church. I simply told him that I'm happy where I am and he accepted that.

Recovery is not easy. Someone might ask, why is it necessary to 'recover' from Mormonism? The term 'recover' is different for every ex-Mormon, I am quite sure. For me, it means learning to get over my fear of what other people think and learning to say "no". I still have a really hard time with the latter.

However, I am becoming more comfortable with my status in Utah as a non-member. While I am still technically a member because I have not resigned, I no longer consider myself Mormon. At the beginning of my apostasy, people would ask me if I was a member and I couldn't say no, even to strangers. Now, I am very comfortable telling someone I am not a member when they ask. In Utah, it is a given that if someone asks, "Are you a member?", they are referring to the church. In any other state, if someone asks, "Are you a member?", the person being asked would reply, "A member of what?"

I have established myself at work as a non-member. Most of my co-workers are members. A few are not. One co-worker is a female who is a member but lives with her boyfriend and parties on a regular basis. I once had a conversation with her, in front of several TBM co-workers, about her friend who just turned 21 and their plans to party it up. I felt completely comfortable having this conversation right in front of TBM's. They know I'm not a member, but they don't know that I used to be.

To the credit of the LDS members who don't know that I used to be a member, they have all been kind and accepting of a non-member. They have not tried to shove church on me and have not been judgemental. In fact, I think that all my LDS co-workers are amazing people. It's not the people that I have an issue with, it's the organization itself.

I am healing. It's slow and I am still a big chicken in a lot of ways, but I am progressing and I will take on each challenge, keeping in mind that my personal integrity is my first priority.

The Failed Prophesies of Joseph Smith

Think that Joseph Smith was a true prophet? The following link lists over 60 prophesies made by Joseph Smith that never came true.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Spiritual Blackmail

As a Mormon, it is your duty and obligation to fulfill certain commandments on an endless basis. If you don't, you probably wont make it to the Celestial Kingdom. How do you spell pressure? "L-D-S".

Just imagine years and years of pressure to:
  • Convert everyone you know to the church
  • Do your home teaching
  • Pay your tithing
  • Attend all your meetings
  • Fulfill whatever calling you have
  • Read and study "church approved" materials
  • Develop your testimony
  • Pray all the time
  • Don't sin (be a normal person)
  • etc.

There came a point where it was just too much. The thing about it is that you try to relieve some of the pressure by doing what you're 'supposed' to. But once its done, it's not done. You get to start over next week, next month. There is literally no relief from the pressure until you are dead. It is always there, lurking overhead like a giant shadow of doom.

So you go out do all that stuff (begrudgingly) because of the fear of god that has been instilled in you since you were an infant. Pray, pay, and obey. When you're done, do it again. Then again. Then again. I had to get out!

Please keep in mind that during this time of my life, I felt extremely overwhelmed by all the expectations, BUT I still believed it. That makes it even worse because if it is true, then you'll be damned if you don't do it all. So you believe it's true and therefore comply becuase you don't want to anger god.

Is it just me? Am I the only one who can't stand the continual pressure to comply? Everyone goes around with big, giant smiles on their faces declaring how happy they are. But how can this spiritual blackmail make anyone happy?

And that's exactly what it is... blackmail.

Here's god with all the power. He tells you that you have to do everything he says or he'll throw you into hell. Sounds like blackmail to me.

Blackmail: "to force or coerce into a particular action, statement, etc."

That's exactly what religion does! They use your soul as leverage against you to get you to do anything they want.

For 30 years I allowed the LDS church to blackmail me. All my life I followed the guidelines thinking that I was saving my soul. But all I was really doing was giving away my free will to a heartless corporation that pretends to be a church. A "non-profit" church at that! LOL

Those who are smart enough to take back their freedom are ousted by the community as "dangerous intellectuals" who are now working for satan. And the drones eat up every word while they sign their tithing checks.

Religion, and Mormonism especially, is nothing but a mental prison. And even though the doors are wide open, it is very difficult to escape. Even though the lie is right under their noses, it is very difficult to see. Sometimes the thing we want the most and search for the most is right there in plain sight where no one can see it.

If you are going to look for something red through red-colored lenses, you probably won't be able to find it. All religion does, is offer you a pair of rose-colored lenses (or blinders) that keep you from seeing the beautiful world around you.

All you have to do is take them off!


We didn't leave the church because we 'wanted' to sin...

...but it is a nice perk!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The True $pirit of Jesus

"You didn't pay your tithing!"
The Church of Je$u$ Chri$t of Latter-day $aint$
Je$u$ Chri$t, Owner/President, LD$, Inc.
Thoma$ $. Mon$on, CEO, LD$, Inc.