Thursday, April 14, 2011

Songs For Mormon Children

Wow, did this bring back memories!

I was on exmormon.org and someone made a post about child indoctrination using songs. I did a quick search and came up with this website: http://www.mormontracks.com/

I listened to these very songs again and again as a Mormon child. Some of them are really cute but others are just scary. Click on the title of each song to play it.

I Want To Be A Mother

When I grow up, I want to be a mother
And have a family.
One little, two little, three little babies of my own!
Of all the jobs, for me, I'll choose no other.
I'll have a family.
Four little, five little, six little babies in my home!

And I will love them all day long,
And give them cookies, and milk, and yellow balloons.
And cuddle them when things go wrong,
And read them stories and sing them pretty tunes!

When I grow up, if I can be a mother,
How happy I will be.
One little, two little, three little babies I can love!
And you will say, "Each sister and each brother
All look a lot like me."
Four little, five little, six little blessings from above!


This one is obviously for the girls and it backs up exactly what Heather was saying about how women are expected to be stay at home mothers. I have been preaching forever that children are indoctrinated from birth. Now you can see that I haven't been exaggerating.

Got A Dime In My Pocket

Got a dime in my pocket.
I can feel when I walk. It
Kinda rolls and bounces around.
Earned it working for
The man next door,
And now I'm going to town.

Got to do some arithmatic
And I've got to do it quick
Before I can use it, my friend.
Take ten percent for tithing first.
That leaves nine whole pennies to spend, to spend.
There's nine whole pennies to spend.

Maybe I'll earn a quarter
Doing work and you'll sorta
Think that I could buy a whole store.
Well, it sure sounds fine,
But it's not all mine.
That's what my figurin's for!

Got to take ten percent
Before my first bit is spent.
It's getting complicated you see.
One tenth of ten and half again,
Leaves twenty-two cents and a half for me.
There's twenty-two pennies for me!

And when I'm even taller
And I earn a whole dollar,
You can trust I'll know what to do.
I'll give back the dime that isn't mine.
For I'll be faithful and true!

It'll help righteous people
Build a church with a steeple.
I believe it's a wonderful way
A little child can serve the lord
Giving ten percent of his pay, ok!
Just ten percent of his pay!


Jesus wants his penny, damn it. Teach that child early to gladly fork over money. By giving your money, you are being faithful and true. Teach them while they're good and young!

Never Tell A Lie

My teacher told me I should never tell a lie.
Because a lie will bring you trouble, sure as pie.
It's an awful thing to do,
And it's true, as true, as true,
You'll get caught and then you'll start to cry.

You'll have a horrid, painful pounding in your head.
And you will feel your face get hot and turn bright red.
Then your heart will start to thump.
In your throat, you'll get a lump.
And you feel so bad, you'll wish that you could
Lie right down and die!
You're much better off to never tell a lie!

Not even sometimes!

Remember, never, ever tell a lie!


I agree that you should teach your children to not lie. But look at how this song conditions little children to feel if they have made a mistake. You'll wish you could die! This carries over into adulthood and intense guilt is felt for not completely complying with the 101 rules and commandments that we discussed earlier.

I Know The Prophets

I know what a prophet does,
And I can name some too!
They're men on earth who talk to god
The way I talk to you!

They can't be just anyone.
It takes a righteous man.
But first they have to be ordained,
For that's the sacred plan.

Theres:

Adam, Moses, Jeremiah,
Abraham, Noah, and Mosiah,
Daniel, Samuel, Nephi too!
I know the prophets. Do you?


The music in this song sounds like it's straight out of a Nintendo game. Teach the children young that Mormon leaders literally walk and talk with god. Although the "prophets" themselves never admit it, it is taught to the children and they grow up believing it without a doubt. When they are adults, the years of brainwashing will make it very difficult for them to "stray". They will then turn around and do the same thing to the next generation.

I find the song "Won't Somebody Come and Play?" to be quite cute with a very catchy melody.

A Paradox

One story is a lie. The other story is true. Yet they are both the same story. How can this be?

Child of God provided me with a link to a video of a Muslim man who was sent to America to convert everyone to Islam. A series of events led to his seeing a vision of God. He became a Christian. He now seeks to convert Muslims to Christianity. Child of God believes that this story is true.

There was a young boy who wanted to know god. He was confused about religion. He prayed and god appeared to him. This boy became a prophet and did many mighty miracles to further the cause of the risen lord. This boys name was Joseph Smith. Child of God does not believe that this story is true.

The first story is true. The second story is false. How can this be if they are the same: a person seeking god and finding him?

I have no idea...

Go ask Child of God.

The Brilliant "Plan" of God

In response to Child of God, who has posted more Jesus preaching (and graphic pictures), I have written this post to analyze the great plan that god came up with to save his children.

At birth we are sinners. Because Adam sinned and fell from the grace of god, all mankind is damned. Because of this, something must be done to save us from our inherited sin or else we go to hell. God sent Jesus who suffered and died on a cross so that we could all be saved because only a sinless being could atone for us. Those who accept Jesus into their hearts are forgiven for the sins of Adam and dwell eternally praising god.

God is all knowing and all powerful. He is perfect. He is the creator of all. The beginning and the end. Our heavenly father who loves us more than we can comprehend.

So far, I think Child of God would agree with me.

So...

God, who is all knowing, creates the earth and puts Adam and Even into the Garden of Eden. All is going great until Eve decides that she would rather listen to a snake than to god. You see, god (for some unexplained reason) put a tree in the garden. Anyone who eats the fruit from the tree will "surely die". Eve was tempted by the snake and ate the fruit. Adam, at this point, had no choice but to eat the fruit too; and he did. Adam and Even gained the knowledge of good and evil but were kicked out of the Garden of Eden.

So now that Adam and Eve are fallen, all of their children are born into this fallen state, entirely fucking up gods plan for people to live in paradise on Earth forever. But if god is all knowing, wouldn't he have known this would happen? Couldn't he have prevented it by either 1) not putting the damn tree in the garden in the first place, 2) put a really tall fence around the tree, 3) just prevent the snake from being able to talk, therefore not being able to tempt Eve.

So god set up his really stupid plan and Satan fucked it up immediately. Now all of mankind has to pay the price because god is a dumbass. We are all going to hell just for being born.

God is the creator of all things. So we must assume that means he created hell as well. God loves us, doesn't he? So why did he even create hell? He wants all of us to be saved from his stupid plan that failed. And because it failed, we all go to the hell that he created, through absolutely no fault of our own. So, gods "plan B" involves trying to save as many of his children as possible from going to hell.

God is all powerful, so he makes all the rules, right? So it must have been him that made the rule that all fallen people go to hell. Why would he have made hell and then made the rule that all fallen people go to hell if he didn't want you to go to hell? Because god is stupid, mankind fell. God made hell but doesn't want anyone to go there. Yet he made the rule that everyone who falls goes there. He then tries to outsmart himself by finding the loophole to bybass all of this silliness.

Enter Jesus! No one really knows for sure what Jesus is. He is the son of god but he is also god. So he is his own father? No? His own son? This is getting really confusing. Anyway, whatever Jesus is, he came to earth via a virgin mother.

I don't understand this either... God created everything so that means he created sex. A woman who has never had sex can never be pregnant. But god decides that he will do a little magic trick and bypass his own method for us to reproduce. That's right. He made the rules and then breaks them (isn't that a sin?)

So somehow Jesus shows up. Since he only has one parent, he must have only 23 chromosomes instead of the usual 46. That might explain a few things!

Anyway, god's brilliant plan B (that he came up with all by himself) was to send his favorite son to earth to be whipped, beaten, mocked, spit on, and ultimately crucified. Somehow, by his sons violent death, man is saved!

This makes no damn sense at all! We are saved from Adams sin because Jesus got his ass whipped? Is there something I am missing here? Nope, that's the plan. Whip the shit out of Jesus and we are all suddenly saved. Once again, god made this rule. He could have just made a different rule that said, "Everyone is saved!" But instead, he makes a plan that involves having his son whipped and killed, and this will somehow magically save all of us from our sins. Yes, I don't get it either.

God, seriously? You are in charge here and all you have managed to accomplish is get mankind eternally screwed and your son tortured. All of this could have been avoided if you had just used that "power" you have and prevented any of this from ever happening.

Meanwhile, Satan is still running around trying to get as many people as possible to not believe in Jesus. You see, you are only saved if you believe that he died. That's it. Just believe. He actually did die, but you only get the benefit of it if you believe it. God made that rule too.

So Satan runs around and deceives people. God doesn't like this. God could, if he had one ounce of brains, just say a magic word and make Satan go away so that more people would believe. But god just sits there and lets Satan wreak havoc on his perfect plan.

And this whole time, god knew it would happen. And although he is all powerful, he somehow still fucked it all up. He made all the dumb rules and then tortured his son so that the rules could be bypassed. A smart god would have just made new rules. Hell, I'm not that smart but I could kick gods ass in an intellectual battle.

So all of this shit happens and most of mankind goes to hell anyway. Jesus only manages to save a handful. So the majority of gods children, who he loves unconditionally, are doomed to roast in hell forever because he fucked it all up and is too proud to admit it (isn't being prideful a sin?)

When you THINK and use your BRAIN is it very clear that this whole story is so messed up that even a dumbass god couldn't have screwed it up this bad. And, even though he is a total fuckup, he demands our endless praise and adoration for how wonderful and marvelous he is.

Suffer the little children, right? No. How about make the children suffer. You see, if a believer prays to god to help find lost car keys, god drops everything in his busy schedule and finds your keys for you. But he has no time for those children of heathens in barbaric countries who are starving to death. Their prayers for food are ignored. Nope, gods priorities are your car keys and your internet connection.

Oh yea, and the reason we know about all of this in the first place is from an ancient book that nobody can agree on what it means and that contradicts itself terribly. This book says so, so it is so. God exists because the book says so. Jesus died for you because this book says so. Although there are thousands of books with different stories about gods and miracles, they are all false except this one.

This is gods devine plan in a nutshell: to find the loophole in his first plan that majorly backfired because he was dumb enough to put the tree right were Adam and Eve could reach it. God made the rule that if you eat the fruit, you fall. God made the rule that if you fall, you go to hell. God made hell. God doesn't want you to go to hell. God made the rule that if Jesus died AND you believe he died, then you get to be saved from hell. God made the rule that if you don't believe, you go to hell. God lets Satan run around screwing things up. God is all powerful but won't change any of the rules so that no violence is necessary. God could change all the rules. He could just say, "I, god, forgive you." No whipping and death of Jesus necessary.

This whole "god" and "Jesus" thing is just a story, and a poorly written story at that. But somehow it has millions of gullible suckers head-over-heels for Jesus. We live in the 21st century: the information age; yet the majority of our citizens believe in this nonsense as literal truth. We have put a man on the moon and yet we still believe in a story that was written in the stone age.

For the life of me, I'll never understand it. There is not even any evidence, outside of the Bible, that it is true. In fact, everything we understand about our world shows that the exact opposite is true.

You believe in your myth and dance around the bloody feet of Jesus all you want. Pray to your angry, jealous, vengeful, stupid god so that your will can change his all-knowing will. Kill all the people that your god hates. Shove your views on the whole world, by force if necessary. Death to all heathens and unbelievers because god loves a good blood bath (just read the Old Testament).

Atheist: A person who doesn't believe in this bullshit!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

There Is Tons of Proof For Religion! All You Have to do Is Stop Thinking and You Will See it Too!

I have recently engaged in a discussion with Child of God on her blog. There is a link to it on my side bar. Her blog is "Jesus this" and "Jesus that" and "I can't move or breathe without Jesus" and it is dedicated to praying for different people (upon their request). I just had to write her. The following is what was said (my thoughts are in italics). I have not included the entire text of the dialog; irrevalent and unrelated material is not necessary here.

Mormon411:

"I was reading through your prayer list. What will this do exactly?

"You see, some of the people will recover and some won't. So how exactly, did your prayer make a difference? I thought god's will is eternal and unchanging. So how do you expect to change his mind, even if lots of people pray for it?

"If it is gods will, then it is going to happen, no matter what. So why pray? It does nothing. If someone was going to die, then they die and all the prayers in the world did not save them.

"While it appears like a noble cause at first glance, it is actually quite ridiculous that you actually think you can influence god to do YOUR will."

Child of God:

"Why do you try to put God in a box? He is the Creator of all. How can you, who don’t know God, claim to know His ways? How can you understand prayer when you do not know the Creator of prayer? This is like a 5 year old questioning the judgment of their parent, impossible. Have you ever seen an answer to prayer? Have you even had the courage to step out in faith? Why do you judge something you have no clue about? I have seen the power of prayer in action working in accordance with God’s will not mine. No one can make God do what they want you align yourself up with the will of God and pray according to His good and perfect will.

"The bloody feet of Jesus is the truth of our faith and why should the truth of what Jesus did for you and for me be covered up or lessened? It is wise to open our eyes and look on exactly what God did for us. There is only one way for sins to be forgiven and that is through the blood sacrifice of a sinless person and that person can only be God in the flesh, for only He can be sinless. There are no more sacrifices, Jesus made it complete and His gift to us is big and should be honoured as such, not minimized because of blood.

"I pray you will meet my God and see just how much He loves you. He spilled His precious blood and endured ridicule for you so you can have freedom and eternal life with the Father of all."

So you're supposed to align your will with gods will? That seems a little redundant. Why pray for what is going to happen anyway? What if it is gods will that little Lucy dies? Should I then pray to god for her slow miserable death? What if you get raped tomorrow? Was that gods will? If so, you should have wanted it. But then it wouldn't be rape so...

I never claimed to know gods ways. You're the one who believes that his will is complete and unchanging. Then you turn around and try to change it by praying. I'm simply calling you out on an obvious problem.

I could start a religion where our idol saved us by being gutted alive. How about if I display a statue with its entrails hanging out? Would you be okay with that? When people tell me I'm sick and twisted I'll just reply that his blood and guts were spilled for me and you can just "laugh all you want". I will then accuse you of being an idiot for not believing it as blindly as I do and state that the mere 'fact' you are 'persecuting' me is proof that it's all true!


On a different post...

Mormon411 (In response to her ramblings about how Jesus is soooooo true):

"Truth is: there is no god. We live in the 21st century. We haven't made the progress we have by relying on a 2000 year old myth to solve all our problems for us. It's time for all people to embrace truth, not fairytales and stories."

Child of God:

"I am sorry you feel this way but the Truth IS Jesus Christ, born, death on the cross and raised from the dead, living and seated and the right hand of the Father conquering evil once and for all, there is no other truth but His. It is a good idea to embrace this idea now before He returns again, for all creation will bow their knee to God... I have no problem defending my faith because it is founded in truth not myth."

Watch this. I am going to ask her to back up these bold claims.

Mormon411:

"You're obviously convinced of your beliefs. I don't know what, if any, research you have done into myths, but if you do, you will find that Jesus is just another one. There are much older stories of virgins having babies and heros with a human parent and a godly parent. Jesus is the same story retold and given a different name.

"Now, you boldly claim that your belief is THE truth. Can you back that up with something other than ancient books and good feelings? If so, please do share."

She is going to try to tell me that proof is everywhere and I am just too subborn to see it or acknowledge it.

Child of God:

"The Bible is a history book and proven to be correct. Prophesies recorded there have come true and are coming true today. Jesus rising from the dead did happen and He has given His Spirit to dwell within and this is a matter of believing by faith, a moving of the Holy Spirit.

"A while ago I had a discussion with an atheist and I found that if a person chooses to close their mind there is nothing I can say to change it. It is a matter of the Spirit coming in and convincing you otherwise. I have seen deaf people hear, legs grow out to become even, a drowned baby come back to life, a drowned grown man with 0 chance of survival alive and well and finishing off his university courses. I myself have been healed from Rheumatoid Arthritis. There is proof if you seek it. But if your mind is closed then you will never believe. Here is a link to a Muslim turned Christian where Jesus manifested Himself right in front of him. It is a bit long but you asked for proof, so here is some proof for you. Think on this a bit, if Jesus was not true then why would the 12 disciples and more be willing to die horrible terrible deaths for Jesus. If this was just a myth why would Peter be willing to risk being hung upside down on the cross and why would Stephen still preach the Word of Jesus while being stoned to death? These are true facts that are recorded elsewhere in history. Nero was a wicked cruel leader who would rip Christians in two, why didn’t these people deny their faith? If it was a story then why would they watch their family members being tortured to death? Why are people today willing to die for their faith? Because the Holy Spirit comes in and makes Himself real to you, you feel Him and He guides you.

"One more piece of truth for you. My husband is a physician who works in emergency and critical care and he has been eye witness to dead people rising to life again because he has prayed. Code called off all the medical team stopping their work, only for him to be pressed by the Holy Spirit to pray so out of obedience he prayed and heart started beating and the man breathing. No lie this happened twice. Then there is the drowned baby and the drowned man both surviving and 100% normal.

"There is more proof out there if you are willing to seek it. In all honesty drop the skepticism and seek the truth I guarantee He will meet you and prove Himself to you, but you have to be willing to seek and research and when you see don't pass it off as coincidence."

That's a mouthful. Prophesies in the Bible are coming true today? You mean like natural disasters, war, and pestilence? Those things have ALWAYS been around. To prophesy that they will happen in the future is really not that hard to do.

Her next bit of "proof" is that she has seen healings. I don't doubt that she has, BUT does it only happen to believers? I could just as easily claim that my entrailed statue did all those healings. So someone was healed. The only thing that proves was that someone was healed. How do you know Satan didn't do it?

Her next bit of "proof" is even more pathetic: the fictional 12 disciples suffered and died for the fictional Jesus. Why would they have done that unless it was really true? What? Seriously? So if we follow that logic, Hitler must have been a true dictator because all of those German soldiers were willing to die for him. Next!

My husband is a doctor and has experienced some unexplained medical mysteries; i.e. god bringing dead people back to life "because he prayed". How do you know it was because he prayed? You don't. Let me remind you, your husband is a doctor. It is his JOB to keep people alive and to try and prevent their deaths. It happens. People who have been declared dead do come back sometimes, but only within a few minutes of their death. It is not like they have been dead for a day or two and then come back. Plus, again, does this only happen to believers? No. It happens to people everywhere of every faith.

There is more proof and if you stop "thinking" you will be able to see it.


Mormon411:

"The Bible has been proven? Really? There is no scientific evidence that there was ever a global flood. If there ever was such a flood, evidence of it would have been left behind. If the Bible is true, then snakes and donkeys can talk.

"I have always said that if god created the world, then a study of that world should only further reveal the nature of god. Science, which is a study of the world, has disproved Biblical claims again and again. The earth is much older than 6000 years. It is 4.5 billion years old. Humans have been on the earth for at least 200,000 years. DNA evidence has proved this.

"Which Biblical prophesies, exactly, are coming true today? That there will be wars and rumors of wars? Can you name a time in recorded history when there has not been war? A self-fulfiling prophesy does not impress me. I can't see the future, but I am pretty sure that the sun will rise tomorrow. Does that make me a true prophet if it actually happens? Or how about if I prophesy that someday the United States of America will cease to exist? Eventually it will happen, but it's not because I prophesied it, but because sooner or later, all things fall.

"It's funny. I've had similar discussions with believers and I've found that they are just as close minded and set in their beliefs as anyone else. Please keep in mind that I used to be a believer. When I finally got rid of the wishful thinking and started taking a look at the real evidence, god dissolved. I have been on both sides and I am much happier here, knowing that there is no angry, jealous, vengeful sky daddy. The way we are different is that I look at the evidence and come to a conclusion. You come to a conclusion and then cherry pick to find evidence supporting your claim. Truth is not found in that way.

"The 12 disciples died horrible deaths for Jesus because, like Jesus, they are made up. And even if they were real people, the story was imbellished by Constantine at the Nicene Council. In fact, if Jesus was from the Far East area of the world, wouldn't he be dark skinned? Why is Jesus white? Because the image of Jesus that everyone puts on their walls is actually a portrait of Constantine himself. Those with the power, make history and Constantine had the power. Jesus was whatever Constantine said he was.

"I have no doubt that medical "miralces" occur on occassions. I have worked in the health industry myself. However, do these unexplained occurances only happen to Christians? No they don't. They happen to atheists, Muslims, Buddhists, Jews, and every other group of people. So just because it happened to someone who is Christian, is no proof at all that Jesus did it. So I still feel that you have not provided me with adequate proof to change my mind. You have only provided me with wishful thinking.

"I am a firm believer in seeking truth. That means being open to being proven wrong. If you are truly searching for the truth, then you must be prepared to admit that you don't already have it. That is why I stopped being a believer. Because the only "evidence" is wishful thinking and corrupt or misinformed preachers who tell their audience that "evolution has been disproved."

"Sorry, but evolution is a scientific fact and anyone who says otherwise is either lying or seriously misinformed."

Notice how, again, she fails to address any of the issues I brought up: no evidence for a global flood, why Biblical prophesies don't impress me, the age of the earth, evolution, etc.

Child of God:

"There is tons of proof it is just that you shake it off as false.

"My husband is a physician, and scientist. He use to believe like you until he started searching and seeing how false and phony science can be. Science is based on theory not fact and is so faulty because it is of man and man lies, cheats and steals to make his point right.

"My husband walked out of the scientific field because of all the lies going around. Lies to make their scientific theories true. Now this is up there in the top of the field, you know leading medicine and stuff. Not good. He bailed out before he got mixed up in the lies of it all.

"The truth is, science was built on God. All the old scientist of the past were Christians proving God. God created science and told us to seek the truth, but when man cannot explain something they lie so they do not lose face. Pride is the downfall of Satan and it is the downfall of man.

"If the Jesus is made up then why do people still suffer for Him today? Why would I allow you here to ridicule my faith? Because Jesus is real. His love flows through me to you. Laugh at me that is fine I only hope and pray that you will meet Him. The truth.

"I pray He makes Himself real to you and you can find the peace and hope that He and only He can offer.

"Jesus is coming back soon I hope you meet Him before the tribulation comes."

Notice how, in her reply, she doens't even try to refute anything I said.

There is tons of proof. If you stop being critical (thinking) then you will see it too. Yes, I shake it off as false because it is false.

Now science is false and phony? So are you telling me that our modern technology is all a scam? When you fly on an airplane, those lying scientists have just made it look like you're miles above the ground traveling at 300 MPH? When you talk on the phone, those lying scientists have just made it sound like your party is talking to you from across the country?

I don't doubt that in any organization there are those who lie and are dishonest. I am sure that some scientists lie for their own personal gain. So if that is the case, then religion is false and phony too because there are priests who like to molest little boys. Many religious leaders have been caught with prostitutes. If you are going to try to use a specific argument against science, make sure that it can't be turned around and pointed right back at you.

She then tries to bring up the "proof" that it's all true because 'you're here on my blog persecuting my beliefs.'


Mormon411:

"Your view on science is typical of a believer. It's all just a bunch of lies to discredit god. And I don't doubt that you're right in the sense that people are people and too often are selfish and dishonest. Its sad but true. However, if you have ever enjoyed flying in an airplane, talking on the phone, using a computer, etc., then you have science to thank for that.

"Christians "suffer" for Jesus because they believe. Muslims fly airplanes into buildings because they believe. A Muslim could easily argue that Islam is the true religion because people are willing to suffer for it. Sorry, but that's not proof that your god exists. It just isn't. It's wishful thinking."

Notice how she still doesn't try to refute anything I've said. She just keeps on with the Jesus ramblings. When I point out that she uses this "phony science" everyday, she has no refute.

Child of God:

"Jesus is coming I hope you make the decision to follow Him before the tribulation sets in because when that happens there will be turmoil like never before."

So are you saying that when Jesus gets here, all shit will hit the fan? That's not something I would be bragging about. Interesting how she actually believes that the earth is an okay place to be UNTIL Jesus gets here. I just find it ironic.

Child of God boldly claims that Jesus IS truth. When I ask for proof, she provides me with a bunch of crap. When I call her out on that crap, she accuses me of being close-minded and stubborn.

In another tread, she tried to convince me of its truth by relaying two more faith-promoting stories. In the first story, her pastors cell phone was dead. He prayed and it suddenly worked!

If that actually did happen, it was your pastor decieving you. A dead battery is a dead battery and all the faith in the world won't charge it. The man is lying to you. He just turned off his phone, prayed, and then turned it back on. How about you start seeing things for what they are and not what you want them to be?

In the second story, she HEARD of a couple who's car wouldn't start. They prayed and whatever problem was wrong was instantly fixed and the car has run perfectly ever since. That happened to me once. I'm no mechanic. I don't know how they work under the hood. But I do know that if the car won't start now, sometimes it will later.

Believers see everything that happens as proof of Jesus. I can't even put into words how stupid this is. All I can do is compare it to other faiths. Muslims see everything that happens as proof of Allah; how come you can't see it? The proof is right there; just stop being stubborn. I could sarcastically state that I know it was the work of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Who are you to question my delicious, noodly imaginary friend who was consumed for me? Stop being stubborn and you will see it!

Jesus fucking Christ, lady! She should get one of these! The last one is my favorite!

For Only 10%...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Damn Spam

http://guccihandbagsoutle.blogspot.com/

This low-life thinks its okay to keep coming in here and posting his crap in my comments section. I have deleted this douche bag many times. If you hate spam, please report this guy.

Click the link above and on the top of his page is a link "Report Abuse". Click on that. There will be several options to choose from. Check the "Spam" option and click "Continue". You will be taken to another page where it will ask for the URL of the offender. It should be already filled in. If not, copy and paste the link above. Then click on "Submit". That's all there is to it.

If you are the piece of shit who keeps doing this, then go to hell! You and your handbags are not wanted and not welcome!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

May the Blood of Jesus Drench You Continually

"Walk in peace knowing you are being covered in the Blood of Jesus everyday."

~ Child of God

Does anyone besides me find this to be slightly disturbing? This quote and this picture were taken directly from Child of God's blog.

This is barbaric!

CoG stated to me that she moderates her blog because she doesn't want her children or sensitive visitors to see "bad" stuff. Yet this picture is posted in plain sight and it is somehow just fine. They can't see "fuck" or "damn" and yet it is perfectly acceptable to post a graphic picture of a person being brutally tortured to death.

Christianity is a primitive religion that believes in human sacrifice and cannibalism. First, you glory in his slow, miserable death and then eat his flesh and drink his blood.

Child of God, just in case you're still wondering why I'm so "closed minded", this is why! Because your religion is creepy and disturbing.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The 101 Mormon Commandments

I'm always stating (sarcastically) that Mormonism has 101 (or maybe more like 1001) commandments that must be obeyed to get into heaven. I decided that I would sit down and see if I can't actually come up with 101 different demands and expectations that Mormonism so kindly provides for it's members. This does not include beliefs, but only "to do" or "not to do". So without further adu, here goes:

1. Pay a full tithing
2. Do your home teaching or visiting teaching
3. Go to church every sunday
4. Fulfill your callings
5. Read the scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon
6. Pray morning, noon, and night; personal and family
7a. Boys, serve a mission
7b. Girls, only date and marry returned missionaries
8. No dating until 16 years old
9. Do baptisms for the dead
10. Get your own testimony
11. Share the gospel with everyone
12. No sex before marriage
13. Get married in the temple
14. Sustain the leaders
15. Aaronic priesthood for the young men
16. Repent for anything you have done wrong
17. Take the sacrament each week
18. Leave your little factory alone
19. Be an example
20. Do geneology and family history
21. Do temple work for your dead relatives
22. Keep a journal
23. Have as many kids as you possibly can
24. No smoking
25. No drinking alcohol
26. No swearing
27. No hot drinks (with the exception of hot chocolate)
28. No tea (even if it isn't hot)
29. No caffeine (even though it isn't in the WoW)
30. Obey the laws of the land
31. Follow the prophet
32. Watch 10 hours of General Conference twice a year
33. Always be worthy so the spirit will guide you
34. Follow the spirit
35. Never turn down a calling
36. Melchizedek priesthood for men
37. Keep your thoughts clean
38. Dress modestly
39. Get your own endowments
40. Wear garments day and night
41a. Girls, no double earrings
41b. Boys, no earrings at all
42. No tattoos
43. Go to BYU
44. Don't ask a general authority if he has seen god
45. Don't question anything
46. Unconditional obedience
47. No loud laughter
48. No evil speaking of the lords annointed (even if they deserve it)
49. Never reveal your "new name"
50. Attend all your meetings
51. Have family home evening (FHE)
52. Read only church approved material
53. Don't watch "R" rated movies
54. Porn in any form is not allowed
55. Don't associate with people who are against the church
56. Don't steal
57. Don't kill (unless commanded otherwise by god)
58. Have the missionaries over for dinner
59. Go to early morning seminary
60. If you're a college student, attend institute
61. Covenant to give everything to the church, if they ask
62. Clean your local ward meeting house
63. Mark your scriptures
64. Never leave your garments on the floor
65. "Know" it's true; believing isn't good enough
66. Be perfect
67. No necking/petting with your boyfriend/girlfriend
68. Your body is a temple; treat it as such
69. Have a current temple recommend
70. Interviews with the bishop
71. Interviews with the stake president
72. PPIs (personal priesthood interviews)
73. Be honest
74. Women are to be stay-at-home mothers
75. Give/receive blessings
76. No oral sex, even with your spouse
77. Don't be gay
78. Share your testimony on fast sunday
79. Fast on fast sunday
80. Donate to several church funds
81. Volunteer at D.I. or the bishop's store house
82. Put names on the "prayer list" in the temple
83. Wear your CTR ring
84. Memorize the 13 Articles of Faith
85. Boys, become an Eagle Scout
86. Endure to the end
87. Get baptized when you're 8 years old
88. Receive the holy ghost
89. Get your patriarchal blessing
90. Only listen to uplifting music
91. Join your ward choir
92. Subscribe to the Ensign and other church magazines
93. Buy and read books written by Apostles
94. Seek for personal inspiration
95. Be humble
96. No talking about what happens in the temple
97. Write to a missionary
98. Give talks in sacrament meeting
99. Youth, attend YM and YW activities
100. Attend ward parties
101. Do all of the above with a pure heart and real intent

Wow! I didn't think I would actually come up with 101 different expectations. No wonder I felt overwhelmed!

Can anyone think of more?

The Human Family Tree

Where did we come from? Certainly not from Adam and Eve. Science can trace our DNA to the earliest known human beings in Africa 200,000 years ago. All people on the planet are decendants of this small group of people. In fact, people all over the world have DNA that is 99.9% identical! That is because we are all related! These videos give you the real answer to "where did I come from?" Not just a made up story. AWESOME!

Running time: 1 hour, 32 minutes