Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Life Is A Test, Continued...

Like I said in the last post, Mormons believe that life is a test and in order to get your blessings, you must pass with 100%. Even 99% is not good enough. The test consists of donations of your time, money, talents, and personality.

Even if you are baptized, endowed, temple married, all with the proper authority, it means nothing if you do not endure to the end. That means, live your entire life working your ass off for the LDS church. Only when you die do you get to stop. You must:

  • Fulfill any and all callings
  • Pay a full tithe
  • Attend church regularly
  • Attend the temple frequently
  • Do your home or visiting teaching
  • Have regular worthiness interviews with your bishop
  • Attempt to convert all your non-member family and friends
  • Obey all the rules or commandments, which consist partially of: Word of Wisdom, Law of Chastity, clean thoughts and actions, girls only one pair of earrings, etc.
As you can see, being Mormon is a lot of damn hard work! After 30 years of that nonsense I finally threw up my hands and said "Fuck it! I can't hack it anymore!"

It has absolutely nothing to do with the discovery that:

  • Joseph Smith was a polygamist, and had sexual relations with multiple women, very much against Emma's consent.
  • Joseph Smith was found guilty of fraud in a court of law for using his magic peep-stone (or Urim & Thummim) to help local farmers find buried treasure in their property.
  • Joseph Smith sent men away on missions and then married their wives to himself while they were away.
  • Joseph Smith "translated" the Book of Mormon by putting his rocks in a hat and then sticking his face in the hat.
  • Joseph Smith totally fabricated the Book of Abraham. The original scrolls have been found and proven to be common Egyptian funeary texts that have nothing to do with Abraham and are even dated 2,000 years after the time of Abraham.
  • there is no archeological evidence that supports the Book of Mormon AT ALL!
  • there are multiple versions of the "First Vision" and they contradict each other.
  • many early, prominant church leaders were totally unaware of Joseph Smith's claim to have seen God.
  • Brigham Young was a tyrant who actually enforced the "Blood Atonement" on his members.
  • etc...
As you can see, I've totally screwed myself out of riches, kingdoms, mansions, power, and glory! And it was all because I was just too damn selfish to keep enduring.

I find it very ironic that the very things that they warn that are evil (riches, power, glory of men, etc.) are the very things they promise you in exchange for 100% no-questions-asked obedience your entire life. Heaven is not about money and power and yet the promise of going there is based on those very things! LDS, Inc. knows that people will do anything for money and so they promise it as the final reward to all the faithful! What a scam! What a lie! Their hungry, selfish, greedy followers eagerly do anything they are told because they are hoping to cash in on the big reward.

Life is a test... And I'm finally passing it!

Your evil apostate

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Life Is A Test! Endure! Endure! Endure!

I recently got on to Mormon.org and has a short chat with an LDS missionary. I say short because he ended it before we could even get going.

I asked him if he was in the MTC to which he replied that he did. I told him that I used to work in the telecenter back in the day before they had chatting or even the internet! I also mentioned that I hated it. We did outbound calls to people who had seen a television ad and had called in to get their free Book of Mormon. They didn't realize that mishies like myself would call and try to set up missionary visits. I hated calling them because I knew they didn't want me to. The same reason I hated tracting; no one wants a religious fanatic to knock on their door.

This chat center is designed for non-LDS members who want to learn more about the church. As soon as I began talking about my MTC experiences, I got the feeling that he would cut me short, which he did!

I hoped to keep him on the line so I mentioned that I am no longer active and have left the church. He asked me why which is a fair question.

Knowing that my time was limited, I began to explain how first it started just sounding like a fairy tale. Then I briefly described why I quit going to church. I told him that it was a huge relief to rid myself of all the demands and expectations. He agreed that there are a lot of demands and then reminded me that life is a test.

He said it was like going to a gym to work out but only using 5 lb weights because 100 lb weights are "too heavy" and "too hard". Basically he called me a quitter, which doesn't surprise me.

I asked this young man, who called himself John, where he was going on his mission but he never answered.

I could tell he was trying to wrap it up so I then assured him that I am very happy without TSCC and that god is a man-made entity and the First Vision never happened. At that point, he wished me well and said he had to go.

I was in the middle of typing something like, "No time to chat with the evil apostate... you gotta find those golden contacts", but he cut me out and it was over.

I wasn't trying to be hard on the kid. I know he's been engrained with his "testimony" all his life. Undoing brainwashing of that magnitude is impossible to do in a two or three minute chat. But I'm hopeful that a seed has been planted.

His reminder that life is a test stuck with me. That's right. That's exactly right! A test. God is up in heaven watching everything I do and if I fuck up, I fail the test. Life is a test and is not meant to be enjoyed. Every waking moment is to be spent studying to pass this test. If you enjoy it, you fail! There is a vengeful god to please and not a moment to spare.

Life is a test and I'm a big loser!!! I couldn't hack all the "hard work". I fell away because it was too hard! So I just quit trying and those elite Mormons are in the attitude of laughing, mocking, and pointing their fingers. It was too goddamn hard!

But then on the other hand, what if the church is a huge fucking cult and the leaders know that if they keep you busy, busy, busy for the lord, you will never have any time to sit down and think for yourself. So, the LDS church is an organization of busy work. Busy fucking work!

I've talked about it all before. But they heap on the callings, meetings, service projects, missions, youth programs, seminary, institute, etc. Anything to keep your mind busy so that you will not think for yourself. And when someone like me "falls out" they tell me I couldn't endure to the end. I passed all of life's requirements: baptism, endowment, priesthood, temple marriage, etc. Except I just couldn't endure.

Either it is the kingdom of god and you have to work your ass of to get your reward, OR it is a huge fucking cult that keeps it's members inline by heaping a ton of busy work on them.

If it is true, then why am I happier now than I have ever been before?

If it is true, then why do I not have a constant stupor of thought?

If it is true, then Jesus owes me a whole ton of "back blessings", coz he forgot to pay up. He sure didn't forget to remind me to pay up though!

It's a cult and nothing but a bunch of busy work in the form of a "test". The LDS church exploits it's members for their time, talents, and money, telling them that if they don't willingly give, they fail the test and go to hell. What a scam! What a shame! The world would be a better place without Mormonism.

Just another evil apostate...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Evidence that Jesus Never Existed

For lots of great articles and web sites, just type "the Jesus myth" into your internet browser address bar. Rather than take all the time to go through each one and summarize it, I will just place the links to my favorite articles. If anyone is so inclined, they can follow the link and read the article themselves.



This should suffice for now. I am looking forward to your comments!

Just another evil apostate...

http://www.abc.net.au/religion/stories/s1517078.htm This page contains links to several different articles. Thank you, Ray Agostini, for sharing this. By all means, please continute to leave comments.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

General Conference General Message: Please Stay!

I listened briefly to this semi-annual general conference. When trying not to doze off, I noticed that the general message I heard was, "Keep your testimony".

I wonder if they're getting desperate? I heard several speakers with the same underlying message. "We cannot yield." We must be strong.

Then I got to thinking... if heaven is like being at general conference all the time, why the hell would I want to go there? It's boring and repetative. If you can't sleep, just turn on general conference!

Seriously, if being in heaven is anything like being at church or general conference, NO THANKS! That shit is boring! Besides, why would I want to be in the presence of a god who had to use fear and manipulation to keep me loyal?

What a pathetic and lousy god. His only true church is no better.

Just another evil apostate...

The Horrible World of an Apostate

According to a TBM, there are only a few reasons why someone would ever leave the church.
  • Someone offended them
  • They committed some sin
That's pretty much it! I want to talk about the second one.

The reason I left the church is because I committed some (or many) act(s) of breaking the commandments of the Mormon church. This is otherwise known as sin. I committed this sin and the holy spirit immediately withdrew from me. Once that happened, I entered a state of continual confusion also known as a "stupor of thought". My life spiraled out of control and things only got worse and worse and worse. The only way to escape all the guilt was to pretend to no longer believe in it. The only way to justify my sins was to shun god and remove him completely from my life.

This is the story of an ex-Mormon as told by a TBM. I had to kick god out of my life as it was the only way to feel any sense of relief from my overwhelming and growing burden of sin.

So it's obviously no wonder, then, when a TBM confronts an apostate they have a completely condescending attitude. I am a huge sinner and they are in full obedience to the church. Obviously I am a huge piece of shit! Or to quote an unknown TBM, "swine".

So, my problem progressed to the point where I had to shun god. It was the only temporary relief I could find. I shun god because obviously everything bad that has happened to me is his fault. Naturally, once I shut god out, I can receive no more blessings and his spirit is completely withdrawn from me. I am left to navigate this cruel and heartless world completely on my own. Of course, I am going to completely screw up and my life will only get worse. This will happen until I, in complete humility, come crawling back to god, begging his forgivness.

He will forgive me, of course, but not before making me go through even more hell, otherwise known as the repentace process. Only by completely kissing up to god and the Mormon church can I ever be forgiven. The longer I had defied the church, the longer they will make me pay the price before the light of christ can thaw my frozen heart.

They wish.

The flaw with this Mormon thinking is that it all assumes that the church is absolutely true. Now, I am going to share some aspects into the life of this crazy ex-mo. Any members of the church who read this are going to outright deny it and claim (or at least believe) that I am lying through my teeth in attempt to mislead even more of god's precious children. Remember, as long as I am not with god, then I am with satan. I now work for satan and everything I say is a huge lie, so don't listen to anything I have to say.

Personal life:

Never better. Ever since leaving the church my self esteem is improved dramatically. I can give presentations and talk in front of small groups and be completely confident. Ever since I left the church, I have given way more service than I ever did as an active, believing member. All the guilt from past "sins" is totally gone and I have never felt better about myself. I love people more than I ever have before, and I spend several hours a week giving service and helping people, all without asking for pay. When people offer to pay, I refuse it.


According to LDS, Inc., the number one rule of thumb is to pay your tithing first. If you do, everything else will work out. Well, I payed tithing and there was money left over for all the bills and necessities. But only just. Ever since leaving the church, my finances have boomed. I have paid off all debts (credit cards and vehicles) and even have a substantial savings! Every year, my finances get better and better! And it's due, in part, by the 10% I have been able to invest each month in myself, rather than in LDS, Inc.


I attended school years ago as a TBM and did okay. I pulled mostly C's. I have been going back to school since about the time I became inactive, and guess what?!?! I have pulled mostly straight A's! And that's even without the help of the inspirational holy ghost! Now I understand that maturity and goals have a lot to do with it, not just being ex-mo. But isn't an apostate from the lord's only true church supposed to have a stupor of thought and not be able to get anything right? Think again! Coz I'm doing awesome!

Bottom line:

Ever since I quit going to church, realized it is a crock of shit, and kicked god out of my life, things have only gotten better for me. I can think clearly. I don't live with this delusion that some ghost is whispering the right answer in my ear. I'm happier, wealthier, and smarter than I ever have been before!

Either god blesses apostates too, or god isn't real. Either way, the typical Mormon propaganda about what happens to those who "fall away" is simply not true at all. In fact, it's a lie. A scare tactic to keep people paying, praying, and obeying!

I am an evil apostate from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I have never been better!

An evil apostate...