Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Horrible World of an Apostate

According to a TBM, there are only a few reasons why someone would ever leave the church.
  • Someone offended them
  • They committed some sin
That's pretty much it! I want to talk about the second one.

The reason I left the church is because I committed some (or many) act(s) of breaking the commandments of the Mormon church. This is otherwise known as sin. I committed this sin and the holy spirit immediately withdrew from me. Once that happened, I entered a state of continual confusion also known as a "stupor of thought". My life spiraled out of control and things only got worse and worse and worse. The only way to escape all the guilt was to pretend to no longer believe in it. The only way to justify my sins was to shun god and remove him completely from my life.

This is the story of an ex-Mormon as told by a TBM. I had to kick god out of my life as it was the only way to feel any sense of relief from my overwhelming and growing burden of sin.

So it's obviously no wonder, then, when a TBM confronts an apostate they have a completely condescending attitude. I am a huge sinner and they are in full obedience to the church. Obviously I am a huge piece of shit! Or to quote an unknown TBM, "swine".

So, my problem progressed to the point where I had to shun god. It was the only temporary relief I could find. I shun god because obviously everything bad that has happened to me is his fault. Naturally, once I shut god out, I can receive no more blessings and his spirit is completely withdrawn from me. I am left to navigate this cruel and heartless world completely on my own. Of course, I am going to completely screw up and my life will only get worse. This will happen until I, in complete humility, come crawling back to god, begging his forgivness.

He will forgive me, of course, but not before making me go through even more hell, otherwise known as the repentace process. Only by completely kissing up to god and the Mormon church can I ever be forgiven. The longer I had defied the church, the longer they will make me pay the price before the light of christ can thaw my frozen heart.

They wish.

The flaw with this Mormon thinking is that it all assumes that the church is absolutely true. Now, I am going to share some aspects into the life of this crazy ex-mo. Any members of the church who read this are going to outright deny it and claim (or at least believe) that I am lying through my teeth in attempt to mislead even more of god's precious children. Remember, as long as I am not with god, then I am with satan. I now work for satan and everything I say is a huge lie, so don't listen to anything I have to say.

Personal life:

Never better. Ever since leaving the church my self esteem is improved dramatically. I can give presentations and talk in front of small groups and be completely confident. Ever since I left the church, I have given way more service than I ever did as an active, believing member. All the guilt from past "sins" is totally gone and I have never felt better about myself. I love people more than I ever have before, and I spend several hours a week giving service and helping people, all without asking for pay. When people offer to pay, I refuse it.


According to LDS, Inc., the number one rule of thumb is to pay your tithing first. If you do, everything else will work out. Well, I payed tithing and there was money left over for all the bills and necessities. But only just. Ever since leaving the church, my finances have boomed. I have paid off all debts (credit cards and vehicles) and even have a substantial savings! Every year, my finances get better and better! And it's due, in part, by the 10% I have been able to invest each month in myself, rather than in LDS, Inc.


I attended school years ago as a TBM and did okay. I pulled mostly C's. I have been going back to school since about the time I became inactive, and guess what?!?! I have pulled mostly straight A's! And that's even without the help of the inspirational holy ghost! Now I understand that maturity and goals have a lot to do with it, not just being ex-mo. But isn't an apostate from the lord's only true church supposed to have a stupor of thought and not be able to get anything right? Think again! Coz I'm doing awesome!

Bottom line:

Ever since I quit going to church, realized it is a crock of shit, and kicked god out of my life, things have only gotten better for me. I can think clearly. I don't live with this delusion that some ghost is whispering the right answer in my ear. I'm happier, wealthier, and smarter than I ever have been before!

Either god blesses apostates too, or god isn't real. Either way, the typical Mormon propaganda about what happens to those who "fall away" is simply not true at all. In fact, it's a lie. A scare tactic to keep people paying, praying, and obeying!

I am an evil apostate from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I have never been better!

An evil apostate...


Paul Manning said...

Hey Joe

I am very pleased that live is treating you kindly. If there is a God I am sure he thinks your posts are amusing just as I do. As an LDS beleiver myself, i wouldn't dream of condemming you. If you serve others then you will be blessed no matter what you beleive in. As you are an honest person I am sure you will realise the LDS church has alot of different people and your portrait sounds like a SLC, Utah view which doesn't apply to the majority of people. I joined church in UK and now in OZ and the people I meet in church are not like you describe. Come and say hello if you ever visit Brisbane

you know it makes sense

Mormon411 said...

Yes, I am indeed currently living in the heart of Mormonism, Salt Lake City. Wherever the church goes, I have no doubt that it takes on some of the local culture. Since the local culture here is Mormonism, there is very little of anything else. So pure LDS Mormonism is as I have described it. It is different for you because your culture has effected it to some degree. Around here, that's how it is. If you leave the church, you now work for satan.

Anonymous said...

Hi there fellow apostate. I too am an SLC native ex-mormon turned atheist. I already love your blog. Thank you for telling it like it is and not sugar coating all the bullshit. I only hope that more and more people will open their eyes and start to think for themselves. I am sure that you sharing your experiences will help many overcome their fears of admitting they don't believe anymore. Keep it up! Thanks!


Mormon411 said...

Hi Rhoda,

I'm glad you like the blog! I too hope it helps people see the light. One thing that I have come to realize is that a person can't escape the trap until they are ready. I could preach anti-Mormon at them all day and it won't phase them. They have to be ready. I was beyond ready; I just needed some information. When I read the truth, it all came together for me.

I've said this before: Mormonism is like a prison only the doors are wide open. But like animals in the zoo, they have been in captivity for so long that they can't even comprehend escaping. TBM's don't view Mormonism/religion as something to escape from; they view it as the only way it is. It is their world view.

Change that view and life is beautiful!

Thanks for leaving that comment. I hope you'll be back!

Dr. Shades said...

Hello Mormon411:

There's a FANTASTIC essay out there about the reasons why apostates are treated the way they are and why so many false assumptions are made about them. Interestingly enough, it was written by a former Christian with no connection to Mormonism.

It is, quite literally, the single best essay on apostasy that I've ever read, BY FAR. I'm positive that you'll really enjoy it. It's at:

Let me know what you think!

Mormon411 said...

Dr. Shades,

Thank you for referring me to that article. It hit the nail directly on the head. I believe I'll put up a post with a link to it.

Unknown said...

Great Post!

I'm sure that your former churchmates HATE that you're doing much better away from the morg.

I know I don't miss their bullshit and lies.

Frankly, I have MORE important things to do with MY time.

Long Ben Avery said...

"It is, quite literally, the single best essay on apostasy that I've ever read, BY FAR"

Thanks for the link, Dr Shades!