Sunday, October 31, 2010

The LDS Churches New "I Am A Mormon" Ad Campaign

I recently had nothing better to do so I flipped the TV to the churches channel (5 I believe) and watched a show they called "Mormon Talk". They were talking about the new ad campaign by the church. According to a spokesman, 58% of the American population admits that they know little or nothing about the Mormons. So the church is running this "I am a Mormon" campaign to show the world that Mormons are just normal people.

Ok, first of all, have you ever seen any other religion that advertises? I haven't. That is just strange to me.

And secondly, why are they so desperate to convince everyone that they are normal? The Mormons used to be proud that they are a "peculiar people". Now they're ashamed of it.

When you say "Mormon" the only thing that most people think of is "polygamy".

These ads feature different people and they all say basically the same thing:

"I like to bow hunt, I am a nurse, and I am a Mormon."

"I am a Jeep enthusiast, I have a funny mustache, and I am a Mormon."

"I ride horses, go camping, love to swim, and I am a Mormon."

And the people on this show, talking about the ad campaign, are proud of it. But all I see is a desperate church. They know that their "sales" are declining. Their little "Isn't it about... time?" campaign didn't do any good so now they're changing their strategy.

The whole thing just sat wrong with me. This is a church that has to advertise to get new members and they are proud of it. They offer free stuff just to get the missionaries in your front door.

On my mission, we frequently got media referrals from people who had called to get a free Bible. They had no idea that they were required to meet with us. During my entire two-year recruiting campaign, not one single media referral turned into a convert. In fact, very few of them even resulted in a first discussion.

Face it, LDS, Inc. Your ads don't work. People don't need a wierd church to remind them to spend time with their families. And people don't care that "You are a Mormon". They just don't care. If someone came on your TV and they said, "I am an atheist," would that make you want to learn more about atheism?

For a church that is so inspired, they sure can't seem to ever get it right.


Follow this link (if you dare) to watch a whole slew of "I'm a Mormon" ads.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Atheist Hymnal

Atheism has never had any songs... until now!

Atheists Don’t Have No Songs (AKA The Atheist Hymnal)

Chris­tians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nag­i­la’s for the Jews,
Bap­tists have the rock of ages,
Athe­ists just sing the blues.

Ro­man­tics play Claire de Lune,
Born agains sing “He is risen,”
But no one ever wrote a tune,
For god­less ex­is­ten­tial­ism.

For Athe­ists there’s no good news. They’ll never sing a song of faith.
In their songs they have a rule: the “he” is al­ways low­er­case.
The “he” is al­ways low­er­case.

Some folks sing a Bach can­ta­ta,
Luther­ans get Christ­mas trees,
Athe­ist songs add up to nada,
But they do have Sun­days free.

Pentecostals sing to heav­en,
Cop­tics have the books of scrolls,
Nu­merol­o­gists can count to seven,
Athe­ists have rock and roll.

For Athe­ists there’s no good news. They’ll never sing a song of faith.
In their songs they have a rule: the “he” is al­ways low­er­case.
The “he” is al­ways low­er­case.

Atheists don’t have no songs.
Chris­tians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nag­i­la’s for the Jews,
Bap­tists have the rock of ages,
Athe­ists just sing the blues.

Catholics dress up for Mass,
And lis­ten to, Gre­go­ri­an chants.
Athe­ists just take a pass, Watch foot­ball in their un­der­pants.
Watch foot­ball in their un­der­pants.

Atheists don’t have no songs.

Performed live on April 29, 2010 by Steve Mar­tin and The Steep Canyon Rangers

Atheist Door Knocking

One atheist is so sick and tired of Mormons knocking on his door that he actually travels to Salt Lake City to give the Mormons a taste of their own medicine. Needless to say, they didn't appreciate it.

Door To Door Atheists Bother Mormons - Watch more Funny Videos

General Conference Sunday

If you live anywhere near downtown SLC, there are two weekends out of the year where you might as well stay home and not even try to go anywhere: General Conference weekend. Mormons emerge from the woodwork by the thousands to attend this seminar and be taught personally by true prophets of god. Thousands of them, like ants wearing their Sunday best, cover the ground. They come from north, south, east, and west. Many travel the globe. They wait in line for hours to be admitted into the presence of eternity.

General Conference has five sessions, four for the masses, and one for the priesthood (in Mormonism, men are actually referred to as "the priesthood"). The sessions are Saturday from 10:00 AM until 12:00 noon, and 2:00 PM until 4:00 PM. The priesthood session is Saturday evening. Then again on Sunday from 10:00 AM until 12:00 noon, and 2:00 PM until 4:00 PM.

Each time a session starts and ends, there are countless Mormons everywhere. First they flood into the conference center. Then, two hours later, they flood out. Everyone is only allowed to personally attend one session. That allows for as many people as possible to attend personally.

If I remember right, the conference center can hold 40,000 people. Multiply that by 5 and that is how many Mormons there are flooding the streets and sidewalks on this special weekend. That is 200,000 visitors! Thank god they only do it twice a year. Of course, there are actually more than that. Those who can't make it into the actual conference center can go to other places on Temple Square and watch in on a screen. Or you can sit on the grass and listen as it is broadcast over large speakers.

Naturally, the place is flooded with Mormon missionaries who all have booming testimonies that it's all true. If you can make it through this mass without being approached by one, then you're lucky. In fact, anytime you visit Temple Square, there will be hoards of missionaries that constantly approach you. They will ask you for referrals, even if you're not a member.

What would General Conference be without the protesters! They are on every corner with loudspeakers and signs that say stuff like, "Beware false prophets." I've always wondered if their campaigns ever actually convince anyone to leave. I doubt it. In fact, if you ask most members, it only means the church is that much more true because 'Satan is opposing them'. Mormons walk by, completely ignoring them. Occassionally, you will see someone try to debate one of them. Maybe I'll head downtown and take some video footage. If I decide to, I'll post it here. Right now it's just after 12:30 PM. The next session starts at 2:00. If I can get off my lazy ass, I'll head down there.

11:14 PM

I didn't go.

A Good Ex-Mormon Rant

This Is How Mormonism Works
by: 6 iron

You have the leaders make a claim that they are directed by God. That is it. That is all you need. I'm not sure which is worse, JS that claimed some religious visitations/directions, or the "prophets" after him that don't claim any directions or visitations. They just throw out a blanket statement that they are prophets, seers and revelators, without any proof or claims. Also they add things like, God will never allow them to lead the church astray, follow the prophet.

This causes leadership worship. These 15 old guys are worshipped as equals to prophets from the bible. JS put himself just one small step below Jesus himself. All they have to do is act like they are God's chosen, (talk in monotone voices, run the church, ie take in money and spend money) and bingo, the members idolize them as men of God.

But the bible says to beware of false prophets, and by their fruits you shall know them. So lets look at their fruits. They put on this act of being holy and tight with Jesus, but if you analyse their actions, you see something different.

As with most things mormon, there is SPIN, that is that anything negative or that requires great sacrifice means that it is holy or noble. But is it? When you step out of the box and see how mormonism damages members and controls members, through this antiquated system of "we are inspired, you can't say no" a lot of damage is done.

The first thing you need to realize is that the church cares only about the church, at your expense. You are an exploited servant that pays for the right to service the church. And the best 2 things that the church can do to ensure growth is to have its membership have lots of kids, and then put those kids on missions. Third is to build lots of temples so the members through peer pressure and preaching, they have to pay tithing to attend. They even won't allow you to see your own children get married if you don't pay them.

The power set up is like this, they have all the power, and you have none. You have to submit to their control. You endure probing and shaming interviews. You run to them with you problems, because they claim inspiration for you. You get your patriarchial blessing because they know how your life will turn out. They threaten you with eternal damnation if you leave, or eternal separation from your family. They indoctrinated with things like early morning seminary and missions. They dangle as rewards, leadership callings and "blessings", and eternal polygamy.

They call the shots, you submit and pay. Along the way your self esteem takes a huge hit. You feel guilty and shamed. You get isolated from nonmembers, and personal interests. You reclessly marry another cult member, and raise cult children, and the cycle continues.

Some wake up and smell the coffee (not postum) and leave, but the damage has been done, and recovery can be slow, even very slow for some. Only once you are out can you see clearly the mess that is mormonism. You thought you were getting religion, but you were getting cultism, or enforced religion. They are masters of guilt, shame, and control over you. Constant indoctrination and manipulation and peer pressure, and information control and whitewashing. You then find out that the whole thing is a con orchestrated by JS so he can get lots of teen and married booty.

Ohhh Emmm Geee, we've been had.

Leadership idolization is now anger and ridicule toward the leadership. You see them as abusers, not holy men. They act all righteous, but they are power hungry, control freaks that want to know if teens masturbate. All the quaint widow stories now appear to be an act, when you see the actions of these men that take over your lives, ruin them, make you pay even if you can't afford it, make you pay for you missions, interfere with your schooling, cause you to marry irresponibley, and have so many other irresponsible expectations that keep you cult whipped, that you never feel in control of your own life.

Then they make you clean the church, and that isn't enough, they make you clean the toilets and bathrooms and everything else. They take seniors away from their golden years and grandkids, for self financed missions. They constantly want from you, they take, they use, they coerce, they manipulate, and you are not supposed to say no, because [if you do, you are saying no to Jesus].

How about this. Any inspiration for me will be received by me. I no longer accept mormon leadership claimed inspiration, to run my life, which means that anything any mormon leader has said is insignificant to me. Unless God personally directs me, then I am now my own leader.

Mormon411 note:

This person couldn't have said it better. As an outsider, you can see all the evil that these so-called prophets bring upon their faithful followers. They guilt trip you out of everything: your time, money, and talents. They even make you promise to give EVERYTHING to the church if they require it. In the mean time, priesthood blessings do nothing special, but the men run around with their chests puffed out thinking that they are the hottest shit on earth. Half the people in the congregation are pregnant, and that half are the women. They bear brainwashed, memorized testimonies, endoctrinate their children from birth that either 1) if you're a boy, you will serve a mission, or 2) if you're a girl, you will only date and marry a boy who has served a mission. They teach you that if you don't pay tithing, your older brother Jesus (who loves you more than you can comprehend) will withold blessings from you ON PURPOSE! If you think about sex, like sex, masturbate, kiss too much, touch someone in the wrong place, or do "it" outside of marriage, then you are taught that you are only slightly less wicked than a murderer. A fucking murderer! Yes, that's right! They teach you that you are evil just because you are a normal, natural human being! So the men have to suppress and hide their sexuality by subscribing to online porn websites, which has lead to Utah leading the nation in online porn sales. Of course, not a single male in the entire state of Utah will admit that he looks at porn... he's a clean, righteous priesthood holder who would never defile a woman. All the girls who get raped on the BYU campus must be making it up. Then you're taught that if you don't recruit all your non-member family and friends, their sins will be your fault at judgement day. Yea, when you're an outsider looking in, it is painfully obvious that Mormonism does nothing but damage to people: mentally, financially, spiritually, and even physically. It's an evil cult, but like a virus, it spreads no matter what you do to stop it. It grows and devours everything it infects. It's a disease. It's a plague. And it all started so that Joe Smith could legally cheat on his wife.