Monday, September 1, 2008

An Apostate Enters the Celestial Kingdom!

"Damn it, Jasper! You can't keep doing that!" God says with obvious frustration to the centenial standing guard at the gates of heaven yesterday.

"How was I supposed to know?" answers Jasper. "I just challenged him with one of the tokens and asked him 'what is that?' He knew the answer so I let him in."

"Damn it, Joseph, this isn't working! We should have known this would happen!"

What happened? An apostate made it into the celestial kingdom. Well, he once was a worthy Mormon who went through the temple and learned all the secret handshakes, gestures, and passwords. He later left the church. But seeing as how the temple itself teaches that these handshakes, gestures, and passwords are all that is needed to pass the centenials that stand at guard, anyone who knows them will be allowed to pass.

Who knows how many apostates are running around in heaven right now when they should have gone directly to outer darkness?

"Damn it, Joe! I told you this wasn't a good idea, but you kept pestering me about it!"

"I'm sorry, God, but even prophets aren't perfect. Just look at Jonah!"

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