Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Courthouse (Mormon Style)

If things worked in the world the way that Mormons think they do, then this is how a typical courtroom proceeding would occur...

The prosecuting attorney would address the jury with tears in his eyes, "Ladies and gentlemen, before you is the accused. Now, although I have absolutely no evidence that he is guilty, I just feel it in my heart. And if you just take a moment, I am sure you can feel it too."

The jury begins to nod and voice their agreement.

Judge: "Defendant, you are found guilty."

Defense: "Wait a minute, Judge, doesn't the defense get a chance to present their case?"

Judge: "Over-ruled. The evidence here is overwhelming. Besides, we wouldn't want to confuse the jury, would we?"

Defense: "But, your honor, we have significant evidence that shows he is innocent."

Judge: "Silence, before I hold you in contempt! Evidence does not matter. The prosecuter has already displayed a very emotional outburst and he couldn't have done it unless it really was the truth."

Mormonism only works if you're living in a dream world. If the world worked the way that Mormonism claims it does, then honestly, it would be a pretty fucked up place. Besides, my feelings are telling me that it's all bullshit!

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