Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Evil Internet

Recent studies are revealing that the state most addicted to porn is Utah. What gives? Isn't Utah gods state? Isn't Utah the home of gods one and only true church? Aren't the righteous priesthood holders supposed to be pure and clean?

Instead, priesthood holders across the state are jerking off to digital porn. They are taking breaks from church lesson and talk preparation to sneek in a peek of a large breasted porn star.

I'm just sitting here laughing my ass off!

These hypocrites watch porn and then go to church and condemn it. Remember in the past how I've said that in order to be Mormon, you have to be a liar? Well, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

But if you think about it, can you blame them? Mankind is naturally horny. Men especially, like to see images of naked women. Why? I don't know. We just do. The Mormon church will then tell all of these men that it is a sin to even be horny. So you've got all these dudes running around being horny as hell and being pissed off at themselves for being horny. This urge is strong and eventually the guy gives in and satisfies himself.

Of course, he now feels extremely guilty. Remember that sexual sin is only slightly less serious than murder. Naturally, because of the nature of the game, the man will be mocked and disfellowshipped if his sexual "problem" comes to light. So he keeps it a secret; jacking off in secret and condemning it in the open.

So Utah men are the most sexually frustrated people in the world. This is the reason why Utah has so much porn consumption and yet also has one of the loudest voices against it.

This statistic, naturally, reflects itself directly upon the church, which makes them look like the pack of hypocrites that they are. So it is no wonder that lately church leaders are speaking out about the evils of the internet. Not only porn lurking there to ensnare you, but also evil, lying, decieving apostates like me. We are here and our only goal is to poison your mind so that you will be as miserable as we are (insert evil sounding laugh here).

It has absolutely nothing to do with intellectual honesty.

Why do you think Mormons get married so damn young? It is because they are horny as hell and the only way to get a legal piece of ass is to marry her first. That way you can get some T&A and not go to hell for it.

I'll be honest, right here, right now. That's why I got married. Wanted some ass and didn't want to go to hell for it.

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