Thursday, January 7, 2010

Jesus Loves You...

...but then, again, so does Barney!

...but everyone else thinks you're an asshole! long as you pay your tithing!

...but not in that way. Pervert!

...but I'm his favorite!

...but I hear he's not picky!

...whatever helps you sleep at night!

...but only because he has to!

What? You didn't pay your tithing and you want to go to the temple?

Run that past me one more time! You want me to go to earth, get my ass whipped, bleed from every pore, and then die on a cross wearing a crown of thorns?

This post was meant to be funny, so if you got offended...

"For god was such a cowardly chicken shit, that he had to send someone else to do the hard stuff." Mormon411 3:16


Thelema said...

Interesting posts you have, though I think Christianity is dead and will be redeemed and brought to fruition and perfection through Thelema. Check out my blog at if you will. Love is the law, love under will. ;)

Anonymous said...

There is only one thing about this post, it is evil, pure and simple. This is not humorous. The images of Jesus with the middle finger is the same as claiming he uses the "F" four letter word, which is foul and putrid.

Satan loves things and these things he loves are evil and devilish.

From what I see so far of this blog of Mormon 411, I no longer believe he "may" have been a member of the LDS Church, I now believe he was never a member.

There are foul and putrid people out there that use the web to spout falsehoods and lies, even about themselves, to give false impressions and claims. Mormon 411 is one of them.

When a person shows from his heart this depth of evil, that means he never had the heart of faith for God. He may have dabbled in religion, made claims he was faithful, but evil was stronger in his heart than the light of Christ.

I have read ex-Mormon accounts, read their tales and there is a pattern that appears to show they were truly members, but got disaffected in some manner. When this pattern fails to appear in the words and mannerisms of any person who claims to have been a member of the LDS Church, that person is a liar.

This blog is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Actually a wolf with no mask, but wearing sheep clothing. Sort of like, the devil using nice words and dressed well. A devil is a devil.

Mormon411 said...

I know you view it as blasphemous and evil, but if you can't laugh then what do you have?

I was laughing my ass off the whole time while writing it!

I've realized by now that no matter how much I try to convince Mormons that ex-Mormons are not evil and angry, I might as well give you what you want.

If I had put a picture of Zeus extending his middle finger would you have thought it was funny? Maybe not, but you wouldn't have told me that I am pure evil.

But to ancient Romans, Zeus was just as real to them as Jesus is to you. What's the difference?

Anonymous said...

To Mormon411:

There are two things very wrong with this post. One is the use of Jesus Christ, and second, the very foul nature of it.

Any one of these two makes it vile in nature.

What is shows is that your "sense of humour" is no better than the gutter, because the middle finger and what it respresents as displayed in the manner it is, comes from the gutter.

There is nothing humourous or funny about it. I grew up with foul language around me and it creates a very dark atmosphere and shows a very crude, if not angry, person. Such a mindset is destructive and very selfish.

No matter how you justify the foul language and symbolism in it, it does not change what it really is.

Not only do I say this from the perspective of life itself, life experiences gained long before I knew anything about God and his gospel, but also from the "spirit of" what it shows, which is knowledge and experience gained after I entered the Church.

People who sit there and justify it is humourous has a serious problem in their life. Such that it denotes someone who likely did not grow up in the gospel (be it only the Bible or both Book of Mormon and Bible).

To have this kind of "humour", my dear Mormon411 denotes someone who has been dark all his life and chose to live that darkness instead of learning to be decent.

Having your disagreements and disbelief in the LDS Church is one thing and can be spoken out with respect to others, but once you dive into the darkness you have with this middle finger image, you dived into a pit and all that you believe or disbelieve about the Church, becomes inconsequential, because now your word is made valueless. said...

Dear 411,

It was you who asked if Mormons are truly happy. Does this post display that you possess some superior happiness to ours? To any visitor, LDS or not, this simply demonstrates anger, resentment, and hostility--not happiness.

Of course it is quite possible that the negative attention this generates fills some perverse need and thus gives you some sort of gratification. That gratification might somehow be perceived as "happiness."

I've seen children, teens, and adults engage in this sort of behavior when they weren't getting the attention they thought they deserved. Toddlers throw tantrums. A teen might intentionally get bad grades, shoplift, or even run away to attract wanted parental attention.

In your case, I see a person who is spiritually needy, thrashing about in a spiritual tantrum of sorts. It's as if you desire to provoke God to send punishment upon you as proof that he exists.

I don't know how long you were a member of the Church before you quit. People can go years "looking beyond the mark" seeking answers that are right their under their noses.

Every single person can know for himself the reality of Jesus Christ and his supernal love. It brings a happiness that is beyond description.

The way you're proceeding is misguided. There is a God. I know for myself that Jesus Christ lives. I know that he loves each of us.

However, the purpose of life is for us to be tested. To become like him, we must live like he did. Keeping the commandments is and important part of that test.

In this post, you specifically mentioned tithing as a criteria to go to the temple. Is that the commandment you couldn't bring yourself to keep?

Brother, you should recognize that tithing was your test. It tests you to see if you had faith enough to let go of earthly things and pull down heavenly power. It takes great faith to do that. I can tell you from experience that such faith is rewarded with miracles.

There is an infinite universe and an infinitely powerful Being who can manipulate that universe at will. He does so by the power of faith. The commandments teach us how to do what he does. Keeping the commandments gives us power to change our lives for better. We gain greater happiness as a result.

I once felt "excluded" when I was a young man on a football team. I didn't have the will to be a competitor and I sat the bench. When I talked to the coach about it, he told me to "man up" and do the hard work. It hurt my feelings terribly at the time. Instead of quitting and getting angry and resentful, I redoubled my efforts to do what the coach said. Soon thereafter, I played in every game and became the starting linebacker.

In short, I learned to measure up instead of being a quitter. In your case, 411, did you quit because the "Coach" didn't put you on the first team? If so, quitting wasn't the answer.

Once again, you don't sound happy at all. Why rail against us because we are?

Mormon411 said...

I know that you guys are highly offended by this post because Jesus represents the epitomy of all that is good. I view Jesus as a myth and so to poke fun at him is no big deal to me.

So, to judge my sense of humor (and me as a person) based upon your values and beliefs is wrong.

And you must remember that Jesus supposedly created your middle finger. It is not offensive to him. It is man that has put the symbol of lewdness on that particular extended digit. What it "really is" is the third finger on your hand. The finger itself is not offensive; it's what it has been described to symbolize.

I am not attempting to justify anything. I don't owe 'god' or man or some bishop any explanation for anything.

You're quite convinced, LDS Saint, that I was never religious, let alone Mormon. I claim to be an ex-Mormon, but since all I can do now is lie, I must be lying that I used to be a member. Go ahead and think whatever you want. It doesn't matter to me.

I disagree with your statement that just because I find it humorous that I have a serious problem. From your perspective, I have offended god and will receive damnation. If your belief is true, then, yes, I do have a serious problem.

But if religion is man-made, then I have no problem at all and nothing to worry about. I can therefore poke fun at it and watch all the fanatics shudder in disbelief.

Did you ever see the movie "Troy" with Brad Pitt? That is a darn good movie. Do you remember the scene where Achilles raids the Trojan beach and decapitates the god? He was not afraid to publically deface a 'god' because he understood that gods are man-made.

Same thing here. Only I'm not using a sword; I'm using a picture.

To you, perhaps, my words no longer hold value; but, did they ever? Do you take me any more or less seriously than you did when you first came to my blog? I highly doubt it. If I hadn't put up this post, would you have considered my material as worthy-of-investigation? Again, I doubt it.

Mormon411 said...


In all honestly, I put up this post knowing it would be offensive to you, just as your web site is offensive to me.

This post has nothing to do with my or your happiness. To a believer, I understand that this post is offensive. But did you ever stop to think that to some people of different faiths eating pork and drinking milk are offensive?

What if one of those people came to you (assuming that you eat pork and/or drink milk) and accused you of being highly evil, dark, and hostile? Is it right of them to judge you based upon their standards? No, just like it isn't right of you to so quickly state how dark and evil I am based upon your standards. If you believe in Jesus, fine. But you must understand that not everyone does.

Your response to this post is not unlike that teacher in the news who was arrested in Sudan for naming a teddy bear 'Muhammad'. To us, that is such a trivial thing. But it is so serious to them, that they wanted the teacher executed.

The Blasphemous Teddy Bear

Putting up a picture of Jesus flipping the bird is as trivial to me as a teddy bear named Muhammad.

You might see me as "spiritually needy" and having a "tantrum" just to make god punish me. But I see me as a person who stopped believing in myths and fairy tales. So I can poke fun at what I used to believe because I realize now how silly it was (and is).

Testify all day long that you know Jesus is real. Everyone of every faith 'knows' that their god is real. So real, in fact, that they are willing to kill for him (that's why religion scares the hell out of me).

Either life is a test, as you claim, or it is just another tactic, made by man, to control people. You're so sure it's real that you would do anything the bretheren tell you.

If you want to know the reason why I quit going to church, then read this blog. Tithing (or any sin) is not the reason. I put god to the test and received NOTHING.

I understand your analogy of the coach and the football team. If something is worth working hard for, then, yes, buckle down and go to work.

In the case of the church, I simply realized that I was playing for the wrong team. Did I quit? Yes. Was it because I couldn't hack it? No. It was simply because I realized that I didn't want to play anymore.

Sticking with the football metaphor, you love football and it makes you happy. Great. Does that mean that just because I don't like football that I am unhappy? No.

Anonymous said...

To Mormon411:

From your reply to me, it is clear that you are devoid of any commonsense and decency. You also missed my point entirely. I refer specifically to your foul attitude through twisted humour. Even remove any reference to Jesus and put a man with the middle finger, it remains foul and devoid of decency.

If you had instead made an image of Jesus with a red line crossing him out, that would not have been as foul as the middle finger gesture, which you know very well what it means.

But, justified the use of it, that says more about you than you are willing to admit, even to yourself. A person who uses foul langauge or foul gestures is a foul person, a very simple concept but you want to turn the statement made against you as some Mormon thing. Maybe that is why you hate God, because you have a serious problem with common sense.

To speak briefly about your spirituality and faith, as far as your so called test of God. No wonder he did not answer you. God does not answer wicked hearts Mr. Mormon411. You got nothing because you gave nothing but an angry foul heart. It is no coincidence that you mentioned the test of God in conjunction with your very foul image of Jesus Christ. That is how you felt about God then and that is only reflected by your attitude now, nothing has changed except maybe more self-justification from you.

Your denial of God was only to justify your angry mind and heart Mr. Mormon411

Mormon411 said...

It's so amazing how well you have me figured out! NOT!

It's so ironic that you should mention common sense. In these cases, what does commons sense tell you: can a virgin be pregnant? Can a dead person come back to life? Can someone walk on water? Common sense tells you no, but you insist that it's true. So who is devoid of common sense?

An extended middle finger means nothing; however, man has defined it to mean something offensive.

I don't hate god at all. How can I hate something that is imaginary? And how can that imaginary god bestow actual blessing on me?

I know, I know, I deny god in order to justify my own pain and suffering. I sin to escape the guilt of previous sins. I am lewd and crude because I desperately want got to intervene.

You know, if you had just left a simple comment stating:

"That picture of Jesus is offensive to me. Will you please remove it?"

I would have strongly considered removing it, out of common decency. But now that you have labeled me as all the things you have, it stays right where it is. In fact, I'm even considering putting a link to it on my side bar.

The way you have responded to me is anything but Christlike, which leads me to wonder if you really believe in him. Remember, Jesus taught to love sinners. He taught to do good to those who despitefully use you. If you can show me a scripture where Jesus taught to bash apostates into the ground, then I will remove the offensive image.

Mormon411 said...

Its funny...

I occasionally put up a suggestive picture of a nearly nude girl. That is offensive to Mormons too but not once has any TBM ever asked me to remove them.

Anonymous said...

To Mormon411.

There are two types of commonsense, one is worldly which disbelieves in God and Jesus Christ and all miracles wrought by them and the other is spiritual commonsense, to know what is right and wrong in any spiritual claims.

Mormon411 has neither, because the foulness of what the middle finger gesture means is denounced in both realms of commonsense.

Mormon411 is also confrontational and loves contention, this is why Mormon411 twists his rationale to justify foulness and create argument. To note, Mr. Mormon411, a hammer is a hammer until it smacks you over the head. Then it is a weapon.

Then a middle finger is only a middle finger until it is used to express the "F" four letter word. Then the middle finger gesture is foul.

Smarten up.

As to your choice of images of the lady, that is of no consequence. All LDS Saints that attended here are only addressing your position against God and his Church,... and yes you hate God, because your words and display clearly do not show love.

Therefore the lady pic is left because it is of no concern and just considered as part of the nothing the rest of your blog displays.

Mormon411 said...

You know, every comment you leave is just a repeat of the one before. I am foul, full of hate, love contention. I get it, okay?

I'm not sure I understand your common sense argument. Are you saying that a person with common sense does or does not believe in god?

Let me refer you to a quote that I recently posted on my side bar:

"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?" ~ Dan Barker, Losing Faith in Faith

And you say that I am the one with no common sense?

Mormon411 said...

By the way, you really hate me, don't you!

I would think that since you find myself and this blog to be so evil and offensive, that you would just walk away.

Melody said...

Hehe, said 'supernal'...

That pic of hey-zoos is awesome. I am going to shrink it and use it as my avitar!

springnicht said...

I just kinda love your blog :] even though my family is straight up mormon and makes me go every week, your blog helps me deal with the idiocy of going. And it just puts me in a good mood :D

Mormon411 said...

I'm so glad to hear that this blog has helped you. In a few more years you can say "good bye" to the LDS cult FOREVER!