Saturday, December 11, 2010

I Know the FSM is True

Today I prayed to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that the earth would not blow up. Since the earth didn't blow up, I know the church of the FSM is true! I know he is real and I know that he loves me.

If you take a Mormon testimony and replace all the "god" or "Jesus" or "Joseph Smith" references with "The Flying Spaghetti Monster", it suddenly sounds ridiculously absurd. All I did was change the name. Think abouti it...

"I know the FSM was a true prophet."

"I know that the FSM died for my sins"

"I know that if I follow the commandments, I can return to live with the FSM someday."

Trying to convince an atheist that "god" loves them is like me trying to convice you that the FSM is literally real. Your well meaning testimony, however sincere it may be, is as absurd to me as the FSM is to you.
And since you can't prove the FSM isn't real, then it must be real by default.
I just totally debunked you! But it wasn't me... it was the spirit of the FSM, which is in me.


Weston Krogstadt said...

Although a little amusing, your FSM comparison really isn't that accurate of a comparrison, because billions of people have not believed in a FSM. As far back as history records, human beings have believed in some kind of Supreme Being, this is not true with the FSM. Does the FSM have an evil nemesis?

Mormon411 said...

I do admit that I was feeling a little sarcastic when I wrote it. However, the FSM represents to believers what god represents to non-believers... nonsense.