Saturday, July 28, 2012

Illogical Logic

The LDS church has 12 apostles. Christ's original church had 12 apostles. Therefore, the LDS church is Christ's original church.

Soccer balls are black and white. Some old TV shows are black and white. Therefore, soccer balls are old TV shows.

God created the earth. How do we know? The Bible says so. How do we know the Bible is true? Because God wrote it and He never lies. How do we know he never lies? The Bible says He doesn't. How do we know God wrote it? The Bible says He did. Therefore, it is true.

God proves the Bible, and the Bible proves god. This is called circular logic. And people use it as proof of their imaginary friend.

The Blackfeet have black feet and always lie. The Whitefeet have white feet and never lie. They both look the same except their foot color. They all wear shoes so you can't see their feet. If you see one and ask him what he is, what will he say? Naturally, he will say, "I'm a Whitefoot." You see, a Blackfoot will lie, saying he is a Whitefoot. A Whitefoot will tell the truth saying he is a Whitefoot.

Isn't this kind of how religion works? Whether they have "the truth" or not, they will all claim that they do.

Joseph Smith truly was a prophet! How do I know? Because the Book of Mormon prophesies that its translator would be named Joseph!

He could have easily written the Book of Mormon and put that part in himself.

I heard of a person who was shot in the head and survived. It's a miracle and proof that god is real!

So every time a person is shot in the head and dies, does that prove god isn't real? For the sake of YOUR argument, I hope not, because the score is like 5 to 10,000!

I have the priesthood. I can prove it with my line of authority all the way back to Jesus Christ!

So, you can show me some names on a piece of paper. The only thing that proves is that there are names on a piece of paper.

Faith can move mountains.

Then why do mountains never move? I thought plate tectonics (earthquakes) could move mountains. What? Earthquakes are caused by faith? Funny, I thought earthquakes are god's way of punishing people. So, faith in god produces earthquakes, but earthquakes are a punishment. Makes a ton of sense.

I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet.

I know the Flying Spaghetti Monster loves me. And nothing you can say will make me change my mind, damn it!

Choose The Right.

"Right" is matter of personal interpretation. For me, atheism is right.

In the end, Christ will win.

The rebels eventually win in Starwars. But does that make them the good guys? From the Empire's point of view, they are terrorists and traitors.

A Mormon priesthood holder is kind of like a Jedi Knight.

No, he's not. A Jedi can force choke your ass! Can a priesthood holder do that (or anything special for that matter)? Besides, there are female Jedi, but no female preisthood holders.

What other illogical logic have you heard?

1 comment:

Dan said...

"You need to pray about the Book of Mormon and receive a testimony of it so you can serve a mission."

"What? You don't think you have a testimony? You should serve a mission, and you'll gain your testimony while you're doing God's work."


"Evolution can't really tell you how everything began, but we know that God made everything."

"Okay, but where did God come from?"

"As we are, God once was. Eternal progression."

"Okay, but where did the first God come from? You have no idea how everything started!"

Maybe not official doctrine, but I've heard them from church members. That illogical logic stuff drives me crazy.