Thursday, March 20, 2008

Two Ex-Mormon Stories

Individual Responsible For The Failure And Success Of The Mormon Cult
Original Author: Chad (Swedeboy) Spjut

The entire program is nothing but hammering into the heads and hearts of its membership that the very salvation of their families, neighbors, nations of the world, and even their dead ancestors are depending upon their worthiness and loyalty in keeping the dream of Mormonism alive and converting others unto it.

The temple ceremony enforces this mentality through the covenant of the law of consecration:

"You and each of you covenant and promise before God, angels, and these witnesses at this altar, that you do accept the Law of Consecration as contained in the Doctrine and Covenants, in that you do consecrate yourselves, your time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed you, or with which he may bless you, to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for the building up of the Kingdom of God on the earth and for the establishment of Zion."

EVERYTHING YOU HAVE OR WILL HAVE is to go toward the Mormon church. If you hold anything back, too tired, not enough money for offerings and tithes, not enough time to fulfill your callings, not doing your genealogy, temple work, family scripture study, home/visiting teaching, etc. etc. causes this guilt, and the only way the average Mormon gets any internal relief from this insanity is to make sure that all of those boxes are checked off each day, week, month and year.

The guilty burden of a Mormon life is absolutely insane. I can't believe I survived as long as I did.

GUILT, FEAR, COERCION, EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION are the means by which the Mormon cult functions.

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Setting Yourself Free From Mormon Induced Fear, Guilt And Cultural Standards
Original Author: Cr@ig P@xton

As a TBM, I envied other TBM’s who claimed to live the gospel because they loved it. Although I put on a good face, I rarely found being Mormon easy or comfortable, even as a member of the Bishopric or High Council, I found being an active Mormon hard and demanding. Living up to the peter priesthood model by being an example to the world 24/7, the requirement of being on constant guard lest I give someone a negative impression of Mormonism was always difficult, even though I lived it to exacting standards. I knew in my heart that I never measured up to the perfection that was required of me. I knew that my best efforts were never quite good enough for the Lord or his church. No, Mormonism was never easy for me. I felt weird, different, and peculiar…particularly when associating with Non-Mormon’s. I hated being pigeon holed by non-members as being Different…once my church affiliation was disclosed.

In my youth, I resented my non-member friends (all 2 of them) being able to play outside every Sunday without having to go to church. Although I often attended the high school keg parties, I was always the driver…never the partier. I was the sounding board for my non-member and TBM friends sexual antic’s…but never the participant. They all knew I had standards, that I was a rock…and despite their best effort to break me…I always stood strong to their every attempt.

As a TBM, I believed that I loved the gospel…but the truth is that I lived the principles of the church out of fear, guilt and cultural expectations NOT because I LOVED doing so. I keep the commandments because I didn’t want the consequences of not doing so… eternal damnation and separation from my family in the hereafter. I admit that my motivation was fear, guilt and cultural expectations. But don't mistake... I did Love the church...but it was an unhealthy love....because Mormonism was taking more than it was giving.

Since leaving the church, I have come to embrace life. I no longer fear living. I no longer feel that I must live up to someone else’s standards or expectations.

Yesterday I attended sacrament meeting with my wife (an occasional concession I make for marital peace). The sermon topic was “Having enough faith in Christ, to believe in the power of the atonement.” The speaker spoke of freeing ourselves from guilt and fear through submitting ourselves to the atonement of Jesus Christ…he described how literally free we become once we submit to Him. As a TBM I would have eaten this stuff up and rededicated myself by once again trying to measure up to the Mormon standard by attempting to be a better person, father, husband and yes Mormon. But in my Post-Mormon state…I had an epiphany… With a smile on my face, I realized that true happiness comes by NOT having to meet someone else’s standards. I only have to meet my own standards. I love who I am, I never feel or experience guilt and I believe that I am a better person today than I ever was as a TBM. True freedom and happiness come from being and loving who you are…not being what someone else says you should be. Another Mormonlie.

Freeing myself from Mormon expectations has been the most mentally healthy thing I have done in my adult life. I no longer fear death, I no longer fear living, I no longer fear being me…and the most powerful realization was that I didn’t need to have faith in Christ to be free…I just needed to have faith in myself to gain an appreciation for life.

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Thank you to Infymus at http://www.mormoncurtain.com/ for culling these articles.

1 comment:

Cherish Life said...

Every time I read a post similar to this, I think about how my TBM Mother would see it if I had her read it. I have been out of the church for about 6 years now, but I have not had the heart to tell her yet.
I have a large collection of these kinds of heartfelt exit stories and other things that I plan to use as tools to help explain my side of things, when I finally do tell her.